A painful story.

For me, the unqualified positive is the reaction of Sonu's parents in accepting their daughter for who she is. In spite of the conservative milieu and most likely their humble education and limited knowledge of such issues, the humility with which they embrace and accept Sonu for what she is, is so heart warming. Her father's pain for not being able to afford the surgery his daughter desires shows his noble character and complete love for his daughter.

Everything else seems so wrong and is hence painful.

Dear Harvinder

Ditto. Sonu's fathers sensibilities are indeed heart warming and the only silver lining in the whole story. Well, no I guess the other silver lining is that the girls did at least manage to get away and that for whatever reason, at least the court exonerated them.

So ultimately 'they' had their way. I meant not Sonu and Rekha but the 'collective consciousness' by humiliating them in public. I mean everything to do with their privacy is laid bare and that too under the garb of 'law'.

"Or is it a small price to pay, for love, for togetherness and for living life on your own terms?"

Anusheh, it's tough to answer the question. I feel when it comes to their love, and especially since they have been 'let off' and 'allowed' to live together, it is a small price they have had to pay. But then when I,think of the humiliation that they had to face just becuase they are in love and do not belong to the sex that they 'ought' to belong to, I feel outraged and sad.

Definitely Sonu's parents and the lawyer who fought their case need to be congratulated for taking the stand that they took for their daughter. Sonu and Rekha too need to be applauded for standing by each other.

Dear Anusheh,

Second harvinder on the incredible way Sonu's parents accepted her sexuality. It is really quite commendable! May be this can act as lesson on love and parenting for others belonging to the 'high society' and the so-called educated class.

And you are right that the humiliation that Rekha and Sonu have had to go through to be together is ridiculous. But stories like these should come out in the open as they have a lot to teach to each and everyone of us.

Thanks Anusheh!

I am back, after a week of no computer....as machines do mine had crashed:)

I third the commendable way Sonu's parents stood by her and Rekha,as for the pain, i think they have come out stronger than most of us (sonu's parents that is), as they supported their daughter inspite of....

The girls, the humiliation they were subjected to has made them stronger too, as they stood together supporting each other with courage and love, inspite of.....

Hi Madhavi

Welcome back. It's true that great adversity develops great courage. One cannot undermine the power of that.

Dear Anusheh,

a sad story in the beginning, a sadder story in the end.

I personally feel the story to have a happy ending when both Sonu and Rekha would have been allowed to stay in the same society and not treated as something differrent and as social untouchables.

I guess the biggest fear that society has in such circumstances is how the children in the community will react to such knowledge.

Lesbianism or same sex love suffer from social stigma I feel becoz of this one major factor.

what does one tell the children?

How can this issue be addressed?

I am at a loss to think. would love to hear your input.

lots of love to you.
:)

Hi All!

Dear Anusheh,

A nice story for the warmth & inspiration it gives "to love & be yourself".

Also brings out the crude truths/irony that exists all around us.

Isn't it significant that Sonu & Rekha didn't break a more important rule - "Follow your heart - be your self" - One that can be hard for many to follow and is far superior to the rules laid down by 'others'.

I hope they get to live life on their own terms.

Liked the way Sonu, her family & Rekha stayed firmly grounded and didn't become rebellions. I mean, they were both Humble as well as mentally Strong to understand & support Sonu and her feelings all thru. They could've taken a negative path but they didn't.

To me the story also tells - How crucial Parenting can be.

We as part of the society must understand Sexuality first before we point fingers at others. This would enable us to understand and help our next gen. identify with themselves and their own Sexuality - more than what other think of them.

I guess that's too easy to say, but I see hope thru all of you & this blog.

Best wishes all :)
Love,
Surya

True Jasjit and Annie

I missed noting the finer aspects of racism and got carried away with my own disgust with the petty discriminations people shove in your face here. Some of the closest people too.

Here is something to keep the lighter tone of this thread....

George Carlin's Views on Aging:

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?

If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!

That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm going to be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're going to be 16! And then the greatest day of your life !!!

You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh , what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out.

There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50
and; now what?.
Wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there.

Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

oops....too many open windows, after a week of computer deprivation this is what happens. Just lapping it all up and thus the error..rerly:) sent the comment here, meant for "Open Thread"

Hi Madhavi

Priceless and so true. Catching up with the age stage is like so 'terribly' public and never quite a personal thing. I remember thinking as a child that if Iturned 40 I would be so old and what freaked me out then (strange!!) and i often prayed fervently too for it not to happen- I would be too old to learn anything new??? I guess for me then ageing meant losing your mind and memory. Now I can only smile when someone young asks me my age and I imagine what's running through their heads. 'God she's too old to even think maybe!'

:-)

Hi Madhavi

That was hilarious and so so true. I was one of those children who was constantly trying to be older and calculating my age in halves:) Now I'm the adult who just forgets how old I am.....maybe its some sort of denial eh?:)

Dear Madhavi,

That was awesome!!!! Cant stop laughing :-D

Dear Surya

You're absolutely right. The girls need to be commended for their amazing courage to be able to stick true to their hearts in the midst of so much adversity and humiliation. No Pain No Gain is a cliche that I completely subscribe to.

And you're also right. I'm sure the support that Sonu's parents have given her goes a long way in giving her the courage to stand up for herself. It will also possibly lessen the pain/anguish of the entirely humiliating process she had to go through.

love

Anusheh

Both your post and your title trigger a thought which may sound a bit tangential however just to try and see a larger picture. Breaking the 'rules' must be the single greatest fear that keep us from seeking the adventure of the spirit. Big or small, the legacies handed over by different identities frankly not just define us but in doing so limit us in ways we cannot even imagine. Sonu and Rekha have inadvertently unleashed a great power within themselves which has already readied them for so many other ground breaking challenges. In finding the courage to be different, seek different dreams and life choices they have not only become signposts to all kinds of people in their immediate world but also availed thmselves to an amazing force within.

If only we could teach our young to be loyal to the spirit of risk-taking above all. To seek adventure at all cost, to push one's frontiers
as the only truth of where the magnitude of your true being lies. If only...