Shubz

Critical post and well written. Want to share a looooong history. Many years of my former work was round talking to women about how to free their bodies form their menstrual 'sin' syndrome. Travelling the length and breadth of this country much of the rural work I did addressed this centrally, since so much of the shame/distaste/rejection came from this one fact. Largely found women were ignorant about what the cycle really meant and how cultures had used it to disengage women from a healthy sense of body and creativity. So I ended by teaching biology in simple language, using Gods and Goddesses to reinterpret scared and profane and learnt many words in varied langauges to express this one central theme. Strange that women got it so quickly and once I had them connected to their spiritual rituals, as an uninterrupted cycle there was usually this surge of happy energy where they felt like they could now take on the world. So you are dot on-the religious 'impurity' thing had really damaged their sense of equality and self.

To share what happened in Assam. I worked for some five years in the villages seeding a fascinating credit programme for women where the rural women would grow to become president, secretary and tresaurers of their own credit scheme. The programme which started from depositing Rs 10/ per month has now 25 villages, some 75,000 women as members and more than 2.5 crore in its kitty. However we always faced the same problem. Assam has a fascinating religious tradition taken from Shankara (bhakti saint) of a central Nam Ghar in each village where all castes/classes and religions get together to sing kirtan. No deity exists in the centre and is usually a mud and thatch hall with no walls but a large roof. Since when I started the programme there were no public meeting places and the number of members were growing we decided to use the Nam Ghar for our monthly meetings. And what do i find? Suddenly the President is sitting outside on a sack refusing to enter with a couple of other women or the treasurer etc. these were menstruating women not allowed into the Nam GHar. Imagine such a secular revolutionary spiritual centre but keeps menstruating women out! Well obviously I realized credit would have to wait and I was back to drawing pictures of the body, challenging them to bring a saying of Shankara where he disallowed menstruating women entry etc etc. God it took some doing. the women were so seeped in tradition and religious fear that they went into a complete flap. Finally, I had to organize two day workshops in all the villages on body and self,spirituality and myths and the key turned. Once again their 'new understanding' stunned them into an energy where they decided to take everyone on, become completely articulate about why and stopped carrying those silly sacks around the village. Not only that, we went into the detail of how the puberty ritual in their villages for daughters cost them so much money (they had to borrow from the money lender etc usually) and was all part of the same riduculous mockery of women's body. I have not been back for many years since they are now able to run the whole programme on their own, but the stories I hear about their strength, clarity and power to articulate their space are quite marvellous. I know one thing, even as designing and teaching them the credit programme, structuring it, ensuring full repayment etc all were long arduous days and nights for me, freeing them from the menstruation myth was truly the BIG one.

So it is true that the body is demeaned, humiliated and kept in 'control' to basically weaken women's sense of self by all this religious/cultural hogwash. And as you rightly point out, the contradictions are mind-numbing. They first celebrate the first menstruation as a public ceremony with great joy and aplomb and then damn the woman for her monthly cycle.

Did you know that one of the Shakti Piths -Kamakhya- apparently where Devi's vagina fell when her body was on Shiva's shoulder and being chopped into piecses by Vishnu's chakra- is in Gauwhati and a huge pilgrim site. When I visited there I found this red water in the inner sanctum which people were lifting off the stone yoni and drinking as amrit. When I asked them what it was they said Devi's menstrual flow which comes mysteriously every month and is hugely sacred. Duhh!

Thanks Jasjit for sharing those invaluable experiences. Needless to say what you managed to accomplish with the women there is absolutely awe-inspiring! I can only imagine what the women in the remote areas of our country must go through, considering what I see happening around even in big cities.

I wasnt aware of the Kamakhya story. well, there you go!

To share another personal journey.

Sorry for the long posts Shubz but this is a subject on which I have tomes. Growing up in a Sikh household where NO rituals and restrictions exist I was happily blissful of any 'impurity' traditions around the cycle. At University in Canada a friend (male and catholic) brought up the restrictions around women's body in Catholicism as part of a feminist discourse we were all engaged in. They were my early years of the gender equality debates. I naturally scoffed Catholicism as retrograde and went to great lengths to champion Indian traditions saying no such bias existed in our country. As others tried to intervene quoting other sources I dismissed it all as propoganda and effectively quietened my perplexed audience, strutting if you will over our 'liberal' traditions.

A few years later I returned home and went on a Sikh pligrimagae (Hemkunt) up in the mountains and took along a Malyali friend. One morning as we readied to march into yet another Gurudwara she suggested that she should not come along since she was menstruating. Confused I asked her why and when she said it was considered 'unholy' in her culture I nearly went into shock. She of course then went into horrifying details of how all Southern, eastern Western and Northern traditions all carry similar bans on women and where did I think I was from. Canada and that ill-informed rant of mine came back in nauseating waves. Reeling under shock I truly could not figure out why it had all missed me so entirely. I ran up to the head priest there and decided to ask him and you can imagine his discomfort and distress. However to his credit the bewildered old man reassured me no such discrimination was part of the Sikh faith and that's why women could be priests if they chose to. As my maloo friend looked on with envy/awe I proceeded to extol the virtues of Sikhism as the only gender neutral religion, making a million prostrations for being born one etc etc. You see even as a child I was fairly clear about what I thought and would often say that had I been born a Christian (the whole Virgin Mary thing irritated me no end) or a Muslim (the burkhas and women being inferior) I would have changed my faith as a child. Did not know much was wrong with Hindu traditions then and when we returned to Delhi dear maloo gave me great book called Phaniyamma which is a heart-wrenching story about this woman who lives in a traditional society and the soltariness of her dreams and spirit. The book details how, during their periods women had to stay in s separate hut outside the house, had to cook their own food and could not touch anything within their homes until they finshed their cycle, bathed and 'purified' themselves. The horror of those episodes were revisited by me in a hundred different ways in my work later, when I travelled through villages all over the country.

It is true that as a Sikh I was saved from all that ignominy and struggle. I grew up untouched by it because none of the older females in my family ever brought up any such notion/memory/superstition. I have often wondered how much of my self-confidence and naturalness to my being was because of this one elemental freedom.

thats a very important aspect you have posted about shubhosree..very deep rooted mental formations here afflicting both genders...i do not know about the origin of such perspectives, but i do know that it runs across religious spectrums.Why it has been in the sot i know not...like so many other things such as sati and the like.

I am part of a spiritual process for the last 15 years where we are actively encouraged to break such patterns.Ritualistic aspects like havans are encouraged to be done by women and there is no barring on any specific days.Even at regular days, it is encouraged for the women to eat first contrary to traditional aspects that seem to have crept in.Infact, in the processes we undergo and conduct, respect for women is an essential pre-requisite for grace as we see it.
We do face a lot of criticism from conservative spaces including the press for corrupting influences, but for us, it is acceptance born in personal authentication of spiritual nuances.
I remember instances in delhi a few years back, when i used to stay near janakpuri conducting programmes and courses,a very senior journalist fram a Hindi newspaper questioning my perspectives.I sing a bit and when i did an English Bhajan at Lodhi gardens, it made newspaper headines through his column and a few dharnas outside where i was staying.
Breaking of conditioned patterns is an intrinsic part of processes until we savour true unconditional freedoms.
The mind seems to revel in rules and as i observe modern superstitions emerging at work places etc, new versions of divisive sytems created, hierarchies evolved.....i see it as an emergence in a desire to control...and this desire is born in personal fears and insecurities.somewhere it seems to have acquired collective dimensions in controlling space..even today, the best of us find it difficult to let people be and release conrols....
For me, the fear is an intrinsic aspect of the self, the mool-adhara of our behavioural tendencies and in this primal fear is born a whole fabric of conditioned spaces, at micro and macro levels of manifest.
A fundamental understanding of this fear and the nature of the self in personally authenticated spaces, whatever and however diverse they may be is critical for real freedom to emerge.The process, in my opinion is unique for all of us to discover "our truths" for ourselves.

fascinating shares, jasjit.tx.

hello,

sorry, i havent come on blog for some days. was having tests.i am suprised you write about period. no one talks abot it. but it is right what you write. i tell my mother also sometime that i will not listen to her. i will do what i want to do. go where i want to go. play and all. but she tells me no. she does not listen to me. i will make her read this. may be she will listen after that.

thankyou

hi Shubhosree,

good to see 'menstruation' as the chosen topic. it really needs to be put out there that this is a completely natural process and nothing to be ashamed about. You are so right Jasjit that there is so much contradiction. on one hand a girl's first period is celebrated and then made to feel like crap becuase of it, for the rest of her life!

also, the sanitary napkin ads dont really help. i remember this particular ad in which one girl tells her friend that during her days of period, she should not get too close to anyone, otherwise the stench will give you away. i mean what is that??? people are being given the message that women stink in those days??!! ridiculous!

Kudos Shubhosree,

A very informative & thought-provoking post. Very well researched too.

Being a Bengali am aware of the "Restrictions" u mentioned..courtesy a few dear friends of mine (female) who didn't mind discussing them with me. Still remember their anguish on not being able to offer Pushpanjali during Durga Puja...and all this in the ‘liberal’ Delhi society.

Jasjit , what u did in Assam deserves all the praise. I belong to Assam , and so it was really heartwarming to read about your activities here. And thanks for bringing out the Kamakhya story in open.

Prasun

Thank You. Assam stole my heart and since I worked only in the rural areas(Tezpur District) the lush fields, simplicity and warmth of the people their lahe-lahe ways, food that I grew to love and the deep bonds I made all just made it very hard to leave behind. The Brahmaputra was my first reason to visit. I always felt it called to me and when I stood before its majesty the first time, I knew why. I spent many, many hours by its bank watching it carry the awesome weight of its long travels. Often when I went in the monsoon, I would stop before the Tezpur bridge to just stand and watch the sea that it spilt all around. I must return and revisit. It was truly a beautiful part of my work life.

I have always find the tradition of secluding a woman during her periods very derogatory and weird...and so illogical...I used to think it happens only in the baniya community to which I belong....but after reading the post and the comments, I am bewildered to know that this practice exist in many parts of India...I always wonder how these restictions came into origin and that too not in one culture but across different cultures....but times are changing...I have seen the change in my community...but the process is slow...firstly bcoz..its very difficult to discard the rituals, traditions and beliefs which have been taught to u since childhood...even when they are negative and rudimentry and anything related to sexuality is still a taboo in our country...so without discussion, it is always difficult to bring about a change...Even though I believed that it was a rubbish practice, never had the guts too discuss with my parents

Very interesting article! It took me back to my younger days. When I first had my periods my mom and sister told me...'never,ever mention this thing to anyone'.There was a time in school when I was getting the cramps.My teacher asked me whether I was having my periods.I was shocked to hear her say these words and I promptly told her,'no,I'm not having it.'I was only hoping no one else heard her ask me such an embarrasing question. Even going to the market to buy napkins made me cringe with shame.

But times have changed.And I must thank my daughter for she has helped me a lot in changing my views.Whenever I told her that she should not be doing certain things during this time,she would turn back and ask me, 'WHY NOT'?And I really could'nt find any suitable explanations.Now I'm quite happy to let her do whatever she wants to do during those few depressing days!!!

Thanks Prasun. Yeah I know that 'liberal' society of Delhi. And as you pointed out about your friends as well, the guilt and fear is so ingrained in their systems that it ends up creating rage, forget about devotion towards God. And what I understand from your writing, your friends are comfortable discussing it with you (which is great), so may be if you feel equally comfortable talking to them about it, you can help them come out of the whole 'trap' and break free!

Thanks for appreciating the article :)

Welcome to the blog Sherriff! Yes, it is not just the Banya, or Bengali, or the South Indian community, it breathes everywhere (except the Sikh community which was brought to light by Jasjit)! And I agree that the baseless, humiliating rituals are being curbed to a large extent throughout the country, but its slow (and thats expected). I too would like to know the origin of these rituals. Anyone has any information on that one?

Dear Sunrise,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I guess its true for most girls. A very common thing for them to want to hide it, as a result of the brain-wash done to perfection by their mothers, sisters (as was in your case)or other officious elderly ladies in the community waiting to give you their 'gyan' anytime!! And you are so right about the hesitation that a girl feels if she has to buy sanitary napkins in the market. And to top it all, it is given to us in a black polythene, making its content all the more obvious!

I am glad your daughter has been a help but I must tell you that it is ultimately YOU who was receptive enough to make the changes in yourself, without which your daughter wouldnt have been able to do much :)

Rahena here,
i truly agree with your views,and being a malayali myself i can understand the "impurity" concept.
in kerala we worship Lord Ayyapa.He is believed to be a bachelor and hence only men who follow brahmacharya for 41 days can go to the pilgrim place where He resides-Shabarimala.and girls whose age is less than 9yrs and more than 60yrs precisely can go there,because in between these age girls have their menstruation cycle which is "UNHOLY".this concept is disgusting and when my father went there i couldnt even touch him,or come near him, during my periods.I believe that every girl in this world has an experience to share regarding her "SHAMEFUL DAYS".
au revoir

first of all though I am bit late...congrats once again on the launch of this beautiful blog..

though i have been reading the blog for quite a time..Its the first time I am commenting
So congrats from my side to all the writers who put in their post here..you all are doing a great job..and it makes me more proud that I got a chance to be associated with IFSHA

Relating to post..well even I have witnessed this behaviour of not attending the puja around me..and it appeared strange to me..

Kudos to you for bringing such a "hushed" topic of our society for an enlightening read

Welcome to the blog Rahena and Dhruv!

Rahena,

Thats so awful!!! I wasnt aware of this. Just goes to show the extent to which the whole 'impurity' concept can degrade to. Thanks for sharing it Rahena.

Dhruv,

Hi there! Good to see you on the blog (finally!!!) :). It was great to have you with work with us as well and we are glad that you enjoyed your association with IFSHA. Thanks for your words of encouragement and I hope you keep blogging!

Cheers! :)

Hi Shubhosree

Gr8 piece. I have been waiting that some of you would touch on this subject. I feel it is a taboo because we still carry that shame and disgust or dirty feeling about our body. I know many women who would never ask their husbands to buy ST packets of themselves. Or even for their daughters. The entire thing is kept a hush hush affair for 3-4 days in the month.

As if the male members of the house are never going to make out. This also brings to mind something which I had pointed out earlier, that to be accepted as we are the women also play a large part in educating the male community about the female sexuality.

For eg. I know a girl, who used to get a severe cramps during her periods. And after her marriage when she had her periods and couldn't get off the bed for a day the husband panicked. He was certain that he had been cheated and the girl was suffering from some kind of stomach tumour or cancer.... she had to convince him first to go to a doc, then bought him some books and then he accepted it.... This is just an example to highlight that the more we hide the truth the more it has the chances of being distorted, feared or misused. As it happens in the case of the rituals in ASSAM.

There is a similar ritual in Orissa it is called the "rajo" or "Rajaswala".

BTW --- remember our dear Draupadi... the time that she was pulled out in the court to be disrobed by the Kauravas, she was actually "Rajaswala" and living in a seperate quarters.

Hi everybody

Very important piece Shubz. I have to say that for the longest time in my life I was unaware of the kind of trauma existing around menstruation for women because I just never experienced it as anything but natural...one really has to thank ones mother for that.Infact the first time i heard of anything like this was in India at a workshop some twelve years ago. After that of course the stories just kept coming in.

Jasjit had given me a book many years ago by one of the leading western feminists. It was a collection of essays, one of which was titled "If men could menstruate", one of the most hilarious and 'true' essays on the economics and the politics of menstruation.I'm sharing it here for all of you to enjoy.

If Men Could Menstruate
by Gloria Steinem

"A white minority of the world has spent centuries conning us into thinking that a white skin makes people superior - even though the only thing it really does is make them more subject to ultraviolet rays and to wrinkles. Male human beings have built whole cultures around the idea that penis envy is "natural" to women - though having such an unprotected organ might be said to make men vulnerable, and the power to give birth makes womb envy at least as logical.

In short, the characteristics of the powerful, whatever they may be, are thought to be better than the characteristics of the powerless - and logic has nothing to do with it.

What would happen, for instance, if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not?

The answer is clear - menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event:
Men would brag about how long and how much.
Boys would mark the onset of menses, that longed-for proof of manhood, with religious ritual and stag parties.

Congress would fund a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea to help stamp out monthly discomforts.

Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. (Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of commercial brands such as John Wayne Tampons, Muhammad Ali's Rope-a-dope Pads, Joe Namath Jock Shields - "For Those Light Bachelor Days," and Robert "Baretta" Blake Maxi-Pads.)

Military men, right-wing politicians, and religious fundamentalists would cite menstruation ("men-struation") as proof that only men could serve in the Army ("you have to give blood to take blood"), occupy political office ("can women be aggressive without that steadfast cycle governed by the planet Mars?"), be priest and ministers ("how could a woman give her blood for our sins?") or rabbis ("without the monthly loss of impurities, women remain unclean").

Male radicals, left-wing politicians, mystics, however, would insist that women are equal, just different, and that any woman could enter their ranks if she were willing to self-inflict a major wound every month ("you MUST give blood for the revolution"), recognize the preeminence of menstrual issues, or subordinate her selfness to all men in their Cycle of Enlightenment. Street guys would brag ("I'm a three pad man") or answer praise from a buddy ("Man, you lookin' good!") by giving fives and saying, "Yeah, man, I'm on the rag!" TV shows would treat the subject at length. ("Happy Days": Richie and Potsie try to convince Fonzie that he is still "The Fonz," though he has missed two periods in a row.) So would newspapers. (SHARK SCARE THREATENS MENSTRUATING MEN. JUDGE CITES MONTHLY STRESS IN PARDONING RAPIST.) And movies. (Newman and Redford in "Blood Brothers"!)

Men would convince women that intercourse was more pleasurable at "that time of the month." Lesbians would be said to fear blood and therefore life itself - though probably only because they needed a good menstruating man.

Of course, male intellectuals would offer the most moral and logical arguments. How could a woman master any discipline that demanded a sense of time, space, mathematics, or measurement, for instance, without that in-built gift for measuring the cycles of the moon and planets - and thus for measuring anything at all? In the rarefied fields of philosophy and religion, could women compensate for missing the rhythm of the universe? Or for their lack of symbolic death-and-resurrection every month?

Liberal males in every field would try to be kind: the fact that "these people" have no gift for measuring life or connecting to the universe, the liberals would explain, should be punishment enough.

And how would women be trained to react? One can imagine traditional women agreeing to all arguments with a staunch and smiling masochism. ("The ERA would force housewives to wound themselves every month": Phyllis Schlafly. "Your husband's blood is as sacred as that of Jesus - and so sexy, too!": Marabel Morgan.) Reformers and Queen Bees would try to imitate men, and pretend to have a monthly cycle. All feminists would explain endlessly that men, too, needed to be liberated from the false idea of Martian aggressiveness, just as women needed to escape the bonds of menses envy. Radical feminist would add that the oppression of the nonmenstrual was the pattern for all other oppressions ("Vampires were our first freedom fighters!") Cultural feminists would develop a bloodless imagery in art and literature. Socialist feminists would insist that only under capitalism would men be able to monopolize menstrual blood . . . .

In fact, if men could menstruate, the power justifications could probably go on forever.
If we let them."

ADDENDUM --- From what I gathered around

Also the entire thing is a residue ritual like a lot other residue rituals that we are carrying around, which have become redundant in today's world.

This connotation of being untidy or unclean, dates back to history when sanitary napkins were not invented and thus the woman would feel uncomfortable to come out of her bedroom or even ran the risk of soiling her clothes etc, so she lived seperately. Or didn't sleep on her bed, or moved around much. Feeling nausea and aches and pains were also one reason to confine her...

some people also belive that, that was time she ran the highest risk of contacting diseases (I have not clarified if medically it is true).

This is not just about menrtruation, the same used be done to new mothers. They were kept in a room seperate from the house... There were several reasons, cited at that point of time. Many believed that pregnancy is almost visiting the gates of heaven and back. Like a rebirth. Many women died in childbirth so they were ceremoniously and quiet cruelly removed from the main house. The many women actually never came back to the main house... that's another story.

In bengal it is called the "antur ghar"...

thats a very interesting perspective,sangeeta.emerging as a practical need in the context of the times and somewhere along the way colouring religious cultural behaviours.your referral to Draupadi is also significant in this context.

Gdod lord Anusheh,

I almost fell of my chair, laughing at your aticle.... it is too good too good. I must make a book mark to read the entire thing...

ha ha ha hilarious... truely... what would be the left slogan of India then akin to --- ("you MUST give blood for the revolution"),

("Vampires were our first freedom fighters!")

No i'm going to say it... use your imagination guys.... ho ho ho

The best part was the judge's rule of the monthly stress... boy I wish we could get away with anything for PMS...

Anusheh that was hilarious! and yet so sadly true that the whole thing would have been turned around so radically if men were to menstruate. Thanks for sharing it with us :)

Hi Sangeeta,

its true that even pregnant women are treated with such contempt in our country (I have heard about this). And just to add that widows have a whole other range of problems to tackle. They are (well not so much anymore I guess) not allowed to attend any auspicious occasions, like say a wedding. So I guess, a woman in any form of womanhood seems to be taking the rap for it! Though, I must say we are definitely progressing (as I mentioned earlier also) but its gradual.

Hi Sangeeta

I nearly lost my chair the first time I read it too:-)

The reasons you state for the birth of the many myths and cruel practices that surround menstruation, seem to ring true. Anyway unawareness breeds fear adn fear in turn gives rise to all kinds of reactive rituals/practices.

I think youre also right when you say that the fear of spreading disease was possible another reason for women being removed from the main houses. I remeber there was a girl living in the remote northern areas of Pakistan, only 16 yrs old, who upon getting her period thought she was being cursed by some God and decided not to tell her mother. Other than the severe mental trauma that this must have caused her, several months later when the Family Planning Association workers got to her they discovered she needed a hysterectomy because she had repeatedly been using the same dirty cloth as a sanitary pad. Possibly there were many many such incidents which led people to fear menstruation.

Hi Subhosree n others,

Very nicely researched stuff. Liked it. Haven't come across on anything this explicit on the subject. This is to be very honest. And thank you Sangeeta, for bringing this site to my knowledge. Hope I can contribute to some healthy debate fruitfully, albeit as you know, I live in my own different world.

Hi Hirak, Welcome to the blog!
Thanks for the kind words. I am glad you liked the piece. :)

Thanks Hirak and you are welcome

Do write in with your inputs...

Anusheh,

This hyigene thing is also a serious mental block. And the ST manufacturer's should do spots on that in leading TV channels, like they do for polio and aids.... The STD leading to AIDs often stems from malpractices like washing and using the same piece of cloth....

I know you are blech! I almost puked when I heard it...

You won't believe if I tell you that even in affluent homes in northern India in this time I have seen highly educated girls (namely one my very dear friend) using the same method.

One day I just couldn't take it any more... She is highly educated, urbane, wears clothes from the best malls and lives a high status life, but when it comes to personal hyigene, she says "washed clothes are cleaner than pads"

I gave up arguing but I know there are many like her, for whom money is not the question it is education and carrying a myth like Sundar pointed out....
People are still living in past...

Shubhosree what a 'bloody' good article!

Yeah Shalini I remember the ad. It even had this scene where they show the girls bums just brush against a guys nose and thats when her friend raises her concern. And another thing that really pisses me about these ads is that the girls are always shown to be wearing white. Its so symbolic. The unstained white dress symbolising the 'purity' of the girls. And why do these ads always show young girls. Older women don't have periods or what? And the menstruating girls are always so cheerful and chirpy, they don't seem to be having any PMS. Is it something magical about those pads that do away with PMS?!

Hi Rahena, Sherrif, Dhruv & Hirak. Welcome to the blog.

Dhruv great to see you here finally.

Shalini

I agree about the senseless ST ads on T.V. But then again its just part of the larger ignorance/disinterst syndrome. Only recently do women have access to a range of half-decent STs and still no tampons when every silly, odd, weird product is being imported into the country. Local manufacturers are not interested in making them while they want to fall over themsleves producing anything from chewing gum to ankle warmers in India.

Truly apart from Steinem's great spoof on men menstruating, the truth would indeed have been different. There is such a problem of hygeine because both rural and urban women have no access to clean toilets, water or decent STs. We used to laugh in the days of yore how men would be given paid leave on menstrual days, all government offices would have rest/recovery rooms for cramps, pain-killers would be subsidized by the government as would STs be available in office canteens and fair priced shops. Defintely toilets would carry menstrual hygiene products and PMS would invite national research funds.

Instead this one natural function, keeps so many girls/women immobile and deprived of career/travel
and sports oppurtunities even today

Shubhosree

How superb that finally someone has written about the woman, her menstrual cycle and either celebrating the event of the first period or digracing her with all the taboos inflicted upon her and in the process announcing her period to all and sundry,without as much as her making a sound.

Just an aside. As far as i know Jain's too have no ceremonies or any dont's due to the period. :)

ooops....missed all the syntax and sorry about the disjointedly written comment.

nice article!!!!
atlast a article which shows the cancer growth in our religion..as a individual when i came to know about these strange rituals i got furious at our hindu religious system ....i was always a feminist and couldnt believe it even for a minute..it made me hate temples becoz we did not have female priests..the end result was i excluded myself from the spirutual knowledge of hinduism..atleast for 8 years i was comfortable with atheism ...slowly i have started to understand tht the vast ocean of our culture has parts of myths and rumours which are added by people themselves...it is very difficult for most of the urban population to understand their own ignorance..they dont question their own faith..but i guess the change comes at a individual level...
jasjit keep up the good work..

Hi shubhosree,

very nice article.

my servant maids daughter has reached puberty a few days back and I was surprised not to see her for quite a few days. I asked my mom as to where she was and mom told me that she was in the room and was not expected to be seen by anyone as she had reached puberty. On questioning this peculiar ritual, my mom nodded sadly and said...it is in their custom, they wont listen to us.

the girl it seems is supposed to be out of sight for 13 days and on the 14th have her first bath.

it is so illogical and unmeaningful to have such a custom.

whats more my mom accidentally saw her yesterady it seems and for that the young girl rushed back into her house and locked the door.

wonder what kind of mental picture the poor child has developed for herself, regarding what is happening to her.

on the other end of the spectrum whenever a little girl in our house reaches puberty there is a big celebration, a big function. people come in huge numbers and bless the girl for a long and happy life filled with kids in the future.

I remember seeing some smaller kids gaze perplexed and ask their mom " Ma what has happened to didi?"

the mom usually escaped a direct answer.

I wish I could remember what type of excuses she would have given.
:)

important topic! I think sex education at every level in schools and colleges is the key to subverting myths imposed by patriarchal structures.

On another note, Gloria Steinem's parody had me laughing out loud...am putting it on my own blog (with a link to your blog ofcourse).

keep up the good work :)

Great post! And was thinking by all the comments how common this problem is even today. I remember a Grand Aunt telling us that when she started her period she went into complete shock since no one had warned her. Sure that it was some terrible thing she had done she decided to run away in the middle of the night and decided to go jump in a well. Luckily the maid caught her and all was well. But the family turned it into a story they laughed over fot years worsening her sense of humiliation.
Also I think the discomfort and pain are such major problems for many womeen. My mother says she had such awful cramps for the first few years that she had a special prayer ritual every month to ask the Gods to stop her periods. Because she would not be able to participate in sports which she loved. Not knowing what she was asking for.
I look at my little daughter and think how blessed their generation is to never know these confusions.
Anusheh that was hilarious. Am going to pass it around.

Hi Girija,

Just checked your blog out...very nice. Glad you enjoyed Steinem's piece, its one of my personal favourites:-)

A very Good Morning to all and Thank you everyone for contributing with such meaningful and enlightening views and information. Makes for an interesting conversation! :)

Sangeeta,

Thats so true. Things that should be taken care of and given importance (meaning hygiene) are totally ignored and all sorts of nonsense is espoused.

Shalini and Annie,

Thanks guys! I remember that Ad too. It was really in bad taste. And thats so true Annie, there are so many misconceptions that are diffused through these Ads. No wonder guys are baffled about the whole thing! As it is, they find womens' minds difficult to understand and to add to their plight, even her body poses mystery!

Madhavi,

Thanks Madhavi. Glad you liked it. Thanks for sharing that piece of info about the jain community. That is a pleasant surprise, like it was to know about Sikhism!

Preethi,

"it made me hate temples becoz we did not have female priests..the end result was i excluded myself from the spirutual knowledge of hinduism..atleast for 8 years i was comfortable with atheism"

This is exactly the tragedy that I have talked about in my piece as well. Thanks for sharing your story and reiterating my point. I am glad that things are changing for the better for you and yes, change can ONLY happen at an individual level :)

Aachi,

Thanks :) That is so sad about that little girl. Again, hygiene being totally ignored and whats being stressed instead?? "Lock yourself up in a room!!" Ridiculous! And its difficult to talk them out of it too. Breaking their mental blocks is not easy. How can we expect them to break away when women belonging to the most educated class live in consummate ignorance!

So you have seen both sides. I wonder what are the various thoughts that must run through the girl's mind during the whole celebration.

Hi Girija,

Welcome to the blog! Sex Education is important yes. But I am afraid its not the solution. There are women in this country (as I mentioned above) belonging to the most educated class of the society, bright and intelligent but are badly stuck with such deep rooted fear created by religion that it can supress the bravest of hearts!

Radhika,

Thats true Radhika. The cramps, the PMS all make you want to kill yourself at times. And then if it needs to be hidden then one has to get creative with ideas! Just an unnecessary baggage! Yes, we should be glad that the next generation is much better off :)

Good Morning All

While it is true that the hygiene aspect of menstruation must have created some of the myths I feel the more important question is how did hygiene get subsumed in such a critical and continual process for women. From all I have heard from women, it was shame, lack of information/warning and immense fear at the first sighting of blood. Like Radhika's Grand aunt I have heard many women tell me about the shock and fear they expereinced when they discovered they were bleeding. So the critical argument of course becomes, how did an integral biological function around fertility and creation get subsumed by so much silence, darkness, guilt and shame?

Cloisters by their nature create fear. Religion topped off and legitimized the psychological/ cultural cloisters by 'banning' and 'barring' women from sanctity and this dug the abyss between pure and impure burying the matter deeper into squalor and filth.

Even today what mystifies us is how 'educated' participate/perpetuate the cloisters only because they fear to challenge the religious sanction. Like the girl Aachi spoke of, the first experience has already gone deep as not being 'normal' and functional on those days. That scar will now be fanned by a hundred holy/unholy myths.

One of the most disturbing expereinces I had was when a Parsi friend(now when we look at someone who is just-like-us the issue becomes completely perplexing if just a religious notion makes him/her behave in a completely uncharacteristic way. She was the only child of her parents and very attached to her father. A few years ago he passed away and in the morning as we prepared to take his body to the Parsi cemetary, I found her weeping in her room saying she could not go along because she was menstruating. Truly I felt it was the last straw. A final farewell to a beloved parent is a moment anyone in the world can relate to as being awesome and poignant in what it encompasses.

I argued and pleaded with her mother and her but her mother was adamant that the 'family' would be outraged. When I suggested that technically no one need know, I was stunned at how they both argued in favour of religious sanctity and the fear of violating his last rites. She did not therefore say her last goodbye, did not partcipate in his last prayers and at my insistence managed to stand at the gate of the cemetary as his body was finally lowered away from her sight. I beleive Parsis are a cultured, highly literate and talented race of people but apparently many follow this tradition nevertheless.

For someone who had struggled hard with the pain of losing her own father, my last moments with him were precious and critical to my closure. Watching her stand there, denied that ultimate space, unable to walk the line between absurdity and truth, was the hardest hitting moment for me when it comes to how deep the subversion of religion, culture and tradition in fact is.

Hi Anusheh, I must get a hold on the book by Gloria Steinam.I just couldn't stop laughing.I would love to see a world where men are menstruating !!! And imagine a judge acquitting a rapist because he had committed the act during one of those stressful times of the month...extremely hilarious!!!!!

om shanti, shanti...!!

"all pain/suffering is connected to the illusion of this world..." well said jasjit, in an other thread...

Hello Sunrise

Good to see you on the blog again. Yeah I love this essay...its just so hilarious. The book is called "Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions". Its a good book, made up of short essays. I think you'll enjoy it. I think bookstores should definitely have a copy as I recall seeing it in India.

love
anusheh

Hi Shubhosree and All others,

Another great post with so much about a woman's body. Brings forth such intriguing facts of our society and the deep rooted misconceptions still alive.

I remember how much effort & time it took to end the Sati Pratha after the first time it was brought up.

Good to see this Blog bringing up these realities to the fore.

My best wishes to the Authors & Commentors.
Will send this Blog's link to some of my friends too. At least we can spread the word around.

Best wishes.

Dear Surya Prakash,

Thank you. Yes these are important issues and we felt that its time they were brought out in the open for as many people as possible to read them, absorb them hopefully leading to some self introspection that would eventually help them get a better understanding of themselves and others.

Thanks a lot for spreading the word :)

IT would be interesting to know; if these laws and traditions; however ancient, were made by men or women?

My eldest sis; a family addicitons counsellor; was married to a Cree..during her menstruation, she was not allowed to prepare or serve food! Either the husband did; or neighbour/friends did.

She'd mention that was the only good thing about menstruation...she didnt have to cook! lol

Not trying to make this light.. but many Canadian First Nations Indians also follow these traditions of segregating the woman who "bleeds."

it's a serious offense; for women to be tagged as "foul" when the woman is the carrier/giver of life?

North

great article shubhosree and its been wonderful to read the conversations it has spawned.
heres a professional success story related to educating young people.
until some months ago i was involved with a large rural youth project on HIV prevention, and my role was to develop the learning curriculum and test it. one of the issues i felt had to be given attention to was menstruation and puberty. i found a small company in ahmedabad that makes rubber uterus models that can be opened up..and other such intereting learning aids. there was much resistance frmo the NGO partners and worries about money being spent on "toys"....(i was also the only woman on the team for six months) i decided not to fight then, but waited till the powers that be actually attended a workshop. what they saw and heard blew them away. they could have no idea how important it was to the girls. now boys have similar sessions on menstruation. the other field offices of the commissioning agency have also adopted the same curriculum....and a little company in ahmedabad just got rich!

North, what you say about native canadians is interesting...from what one has read of their culture and practices there seems to be a more accepting and gentle approach to the cycles of nature... has this segregation always been so or is it a more recent effect of change/modernization? though i figure that different nations from across North America have different traditions and practices.....

Dear Maya..my sis and her hubby practiced an old tradition; but, many women follow it. They believe, that bad karma can be transfered via blood; to transmit anything foreign into the blood; taints the purity of the Spirit.

Something to that effect.

We are part Ojibwa; and not raised native cultured; we were raised our other half-french and english(dutch/Scot) yeah,,mongrels(big sigh.)

But, when my sis met her hubby to become; he was a Shaman..a healer in effect..and went through extensive rituals; including the now banned Sun Dance..where men's flesh(chest) are pierced with the claws of an eagle,,and they are hung from them claws in their skin;; until the skin breaks.

Ok..off topic there...lol

Yes, it is a common practice Maya; but, it's become a more "preferential" choice. Canadian Indian Cultures are unfortunately seeing rises in some ways; and declines in ancient tradition and so many of their ceremonies, like the Sun Dance,,which was a rite-of-passage of boys to warriers.

WE are a fading race of beings..becoming obsolete.

North

I forgot to mention; that my sis's hubby went through the warrior tradition.. He has the scars across his chest...flaming symbols of manhood(ouch!)

He underwent much purification and training to become a Shaman..and be able to perform Sweat-Lodge Sweats; he had to live as a paupur, live alone in the wild; for extensive periods alone, fasting, including NO drink!

WE consider 4 a Sacred Number; it represents the four directions, the four levels of life; the four seasons and the four (I always forget the 4th)

Technically; they taste death's breath.. it is said, to be a Shaman and have the eye of a see'r; one must have tasted deaths breath.

I have tasted deaths breath; it tastes like dog; not that I have tasted a dogs breath(smiles) but, I do not have an eye that see's ALL; but, I do seem to have an extraordinary scensory perception; like a radar; I pick-up(receiver) and I don't like it..but, I've learned to control what I absorb over the years it became a must; I asked my sis's advice(smile.)

North

Some native will only take part in sweats by reputed Shamans. They believe; that evil can be as manifested an intent; as good is; and that a bad sweat can actually kill.

I know, when my sis and her hubby moved here in 99; they were met with resistance and tension; to have sweats!

However, many in the Reserves would come to him for secret sweats - with four days of preperation for ONE day/night of sweat-lodge prayer/meditation..etc.

IT can get pretty hot in a sweat-lodge!! My first sweat; was an open prayer intentions one(family) and I prayed for the painful arthritis in my hands/fingers.

IF I was not able to keep my control; I would have bolted; my hand/fingers felt afire!! I kid you NOT! IT is so pitch-black in there; that I thought they were.

When we were out; HE asked me if my prayers were answered; (how'd he know I asked for one?) I told him yes,,,my fingers are burning!! lol TO this day; my fingers are at least 90% less intense, than it was prior to that sweat! I told my doc; I think, HE thinks, I'm a cracked-egg-in-the-head?

But, they have moved away(far) and I have not had a sweat..and boy, could I use one for an overhaul.

North

Dear Maya,

Thanks and Kudos Maya for your great work in the project!

Dear North,

As I was reading your comments about your sis and her hubby, I couldnt help but think that there is this whole other world that exists out there! So different and fascinating!

fascinating shares on shamans, north...was recently exposed to some glimpses into shamanic powers of healing and other aspects when a group of 7 seven shamanic masters from Latin America paid a very rare visit to a univesrity I am associated with...this link may interest you...http://onenessuniversity.org/press_shamans.htm

well, I enjoyed their presence doing sweats when they were here... I remember as a little girl; my grandparents on Dads side of the fam... sitting in circles talking,,, they'd pass the peace pipe; which meant "men talk" lol

It was great to be able to actually live this part of my heritage; after all these years away from it...lol

My Mom is French; raised us english though; so there is two of my 3 native tongues I cannot speak! lol

Yes, there really IS a big world out here... I wish more first nations Indians practiced thier cultures more...I love their native tribal dance!!

thanks for the link sundar; will check it out this weekend.

North

Hi Sundar, just checked out the Shamans link you provided!

Awesome.. pre-destiny; for First Nations Shamans to meet with Indias Shamans?

Wonderful really; how we are all basic and fundamental human beings; on a united, unique quest for inner peace; which ultimately manifests world peace!

North

yeah north, the world is shrinking...

Regarding the posts about brahmin women being treated as untouchables during their menstrual cycle, I would like to say that the Indian constitution does nothing about it.

I enquired with lawyers about this and they say it is not an inter caste issue and it is an issue within the same caste. Hence it is not a crime according to the Indian law.

Is anyone amongst you all a lawyer? I would like to see the day when the constitution is amended for this cause. Though the commnuity is a minor one. When minority religions are given special prefence why not issues which are being faced by a small minority of people.

Dear Gowri,

Welcome to the blog!

Actually Brahmin women are not the only ones that are treated as untouchables during their menstrual cycle. Many other groups/sects of women undergo similar discrmination.

As far as bringing changes to the Constitution or laws for that matter, in my opinion, the solution doesnt really lie there. The fact is, that women carry deep seeded shame and discomfort as far as their body and its functions are concerned. Even if a law did exist, do we really think that women would go to the courts wanting retribution for being treated badly during their menstrual cycle? Somehow I dont think so.

To bring about true change, there has to be awareness, courage and women have to want to reclaim their bodies. Like you, we too would like to see the day when all this senseless discrimination and suppression stops.

Dear Gowri,

Laws are made, revamped, ammended etc. only when the need comes from the society and it's people. If people do not change the way they think laws too will remain the same.

Besides there are many laws that exist on many things but it's not necessary that people abide by them. So lets all try to bring about these changes within us first :)

Happy Holi everybody!

Just want to say that as far as I am aware in some of the books regarding mandir seva or worship of the image of God/Goddess in a mandir, there are rules that govern cleanliness of the pujari. One such rule is that bodily secretions of any kind should not be coming out. Example is given of an open wound or cut that is emitting blood. Menstruation falls under this so that women cannot perform the seva during their period, but after the period is over, they can. Just as after the wound/cut has healed so can a man perform seva. I see nothing prejudice about this.

Perhaps Indian culture has taken such rules to the extreme over the years and forbidden females even to enter temples during that time. That is another issue.

Hi Videsi Gori

To add to what you have said, the Pujari's and priests performing a puja are seperate from the concept of Seva in Indian wisdom. Puja echoes the esoteric traditions/rights/rituals which carry elaborate purification states, not just of the body, but the mind and lifestyles too. That is why they were delegated to a class of people who had to prepare through arduous practices since childhood.

Seva on the other hand was the right of any individual to participate in public or sacred service. More importantly, worship at an individual level was an autonomous act as was the access to deities and prayer. The hegemony of the
Priest/Brahmanic caste distorted and perverted much to keep itself in the seat of authority.

Menstruation was the singular and easiest way to divest women as a gender from the sacred and the sanctified. I don't think it had anything to do with ancient scriptures ruling menstruation to be unholy. Personal hygiene could have been a reason, but then to assume that women seeking places of worship would be indifferent to personal hygiene is really myopic.

Hi everyone !

I have been an athiest all my life. You know why? Only singular reason is this belief, woman can't enter places of worship when they are menustruating. This single belief has turned me an athiest. I have completely failed to understand the logic behind this custom/belief, whole my life. People believe if a menstruating woman enters place of worship an evil thing happens and like. I always argue, has anyone witnessed this happen ever. I also go on and challange these superstitius people saying, lets see what happens if a menstruating woman enters a place of worship and if what they believe is true I shall start believing in the very existance of 'GOD', if there is any ! To my utter surprise, so far NO woman I know have shown the guts to try this logical exersize. At times, I wonder people (both men/women) with evil thoughts up their head can enter places of worship but NOT a purehearted menstruating woman. Ladies wake up its nothing but the ploy of male dominated society who never wants females to come out of these taboos. I would welcome comments from the readers on my thoughts.

By the way I am a male, who gives the highest respect to the women in this world and can't tolerate this discrimination.

Do post your comments

Hi Paresh

A bit harsh on yourself aren't you for taking on the ignorance of people as a reason to block your own enquiry into truth? People through the ages (and I see no reason to believe it to be different in times to come)will co-exist at many levels of awareness and so be it. We all have to find our own road IMO of truth and understanding nevertheless and be courageous enough to find it outside the fold.

As for your claim that no woman has been brave enough, is not true. Many, many women have done so both quietly and as a cause and will continue to find their own road. If you read some of the comments on this section you will agree with me.

Good to have you on this blog :)

Dear Paresh,

Hi! Welcome to the blog!

Well whether a menstruating women goes into a temple or not, bad/evil/disasters happen all around us all the time. As an individual I need to be aware of the absurd connections and reasons that are made and step out of the rituals etc which bind us to them.

Many women do go to temples even when they are menstruating but I guess they don't shout aloud to announce it. I don't see any reason why they should either. If you believe in what you are doing then what is the need to announce to everyone your justification for it. Unless ofcourse someone is hell bent upon knowing your explaination.

Re:‘Menstruating women are impure’

The people down south in India cleanse a girl menstruating first time by making her drink cow's urine.

Hi there..really interesting reading...In India what is happening over the years is that people tend to follow mistakes from the past in the past to a point of utter absurdity..lets be rational and take an objective view of things. Its not that I am not religious..but for me it is something very personal..not to be displayed .. a direct personal communication with god..and the gist of that communication is to do good..altruism!

How do I ?