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Timeless Dreams, Ageless Love - by Shubhosree Pal
By - 9:18 AM Sunday 08 January 2006
The story dates back to 1942, when Baig Hussain of Surankote tehsil in Poonch district fell in love with the beautiful Shajra Bi. Baig Hussain who was already married to two women then and was almost 40, approached Shajra Bi's family with the marriage proposal, only to be rejected on the grounds of being a married man. Feeling totally dejected, Hussain joined the Jat Regiment that same year and served in many places. Meanwhile, Shajra Bi was married off and as a reaction to that, Hussain brought home two more wives. By the way, he is now divorced from 2 of his wives, one has died and one has left him with eight children to look after.
Though resigned to his fate, with no hope of uniting with his ladylove ever again, not once did he forget the woman his heart skipped a beat for. 64 years later, it happened! Hussain received a marriage proposal from Shajra Bi.
Shajra Bi came looking for Hussain, in his son-in-law's house last week, a few days after her husband passed away. Hussain, for whom it was nothing less than a miracle, shouted out "Kabool Hai" within a second, not ready to lose any more time and brought his "dream come true" home. Of course, the girl's brother (I say "girl" because that's how the family seems to be treating this 90 year old woman) lodged a complaint with the police saying that Hussain, the man who can barely move himself, had abducted her. However, after police intervention, the two families resolved their issues and solemnized the marriage.
That's what I call true love! In a day and age, when lovers can't handle long-distance relationships, with that "out-of-sight-out-of-mind" feeling taking over every now and then, or even if we look at the "no-distance" relationships, we find the two people struggling to stand by each other and love, I mean truly love – the story of Baig Hussain and Shajra Bi stands out as a poignant tale of what love is all about. Here is a couple that waited for 64 years to be together. Can you imagine the intensity and purity of love that they had deep in their hearts? A love that blazed after eons and other partners had passed them by. Life had passed them by! But the eagerness and urge to be with each other remained unabated. Just one look at the photograph and you can tell by the glow on Hussain's face and the blushing bride, how ecstatic they are! They can put young newly-weds to shame!
I have always found old people become more and more like children as they age, in terms of the physical helplessness, but looking at the happy couple I also see the same innocence in their hearts and in the light in their eyes. It is no different than the expression on the face of a little kid who has just been granted his wish to have an ice-cream. Ah! The simple joys of life.
And yet in our culture so many people age alone because society begrudges the old the right to love, to need a partner or the joy of romance. And at their age, the companionship of a kindred heart is perhaps the greatest thing they cherish. How cruel we are as a culture, for we are so uncaring of people's right to love. Our censure is brutal and our 'morality' has in effect banned the ageing from normal desires and needs. WE expect them to sit alone, go to a temple or baby sit the grandchildren and that is where their needs should end. Romance is purely for the young.
And as I write this I wonder how much more meaningful, sensitive and gentle love in old age must be, shorn of the manic, needy coupling that drives us in youth. How truly romantic the togetherness of two frail hands holding each other for support, sharing a warm park bench or just resting on each other's shoulders as the autumn of life spreads before them its paling eye.
I am reminded of these lines of Robert Browning:
"Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith, "A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all nor be afraid!"
And suddenly my heart is filled with gratitude for Shajra Bi and Baig Hussain for helping me see through my own narrowness, for expanding the gift of love, for wedding it to wisdom and hope and teaching me that the twinkle in the eye is truly beyond age and time.
Thank You brave hearts for lighting the torch of hope in my heart and reminding me to approach the portals of love with awe, for it is truly a many-splendoured thing. Wishing you a happy and blissful married life!
Posted By - 9:18 AM Sunday 08 January 2006
Comments
Thanks Anusheh.
You have put it so beautifully - "Why indeed should love be restricted to the young of age, makes perfect sense that it infact belongs to the young of heart."
We deny people of love and companionship at that point of time in their lives when they need it the most! And we call ourselves civilized?
Posted by
thats beautiful share shuboshree..had seen the press article on the same....companionship , in my opinion is an acute need as one gets older...
Posted by on January 8, 2006 10:08 AM
Thanks Sundar :)
hey btw, I noticed you wrote an entire comment without using the word "space" ..... LOL!
Cheers!
Posted by
Shubhosree,
what a lovely post in the morning to wake up to.
I loved the title as much as i loved the story.
Once when I was in Delhi with my friends, a friend of mine got a call from the girl he loved that she was feeling a little low ( she had moved in new into the hostel). She was in chennai. He rushed to the airport to book a flight....everything was full...he went to the railway station...everything was full...he was at a lost of what to do....finally...he just got into the general compartment of GT express and travelled nearly three days...and what did he get...spend a little more than an hour with her in Chennai...but the next time when he talked to me he was happy...
another time in Bangalore when i was going past the general hospital i saw something that made me warm all inside.... a man was carrying a woman with her leg plastered on his shoulders! She had obviously suffered a fracture and had com for a check up...as they were poor they couldnt afford an auto and he was carrying her....i wanted to stop my taxi and give him some money...but felt a little embarrased as i was with some strangers in the taxi and i just let it go by....but in retrospect i always felt warm whenever i think of that man and the love between them.
Posted by
:) tx shubhoshree..
Posted by on January 8, 2006 12:26 PM
Thanks Aachi. A heart warming story indeed!
What beautiful stories you have shared as well. Yes, love is a feeling that can only be understood when experienced. I can totally understand how happy your friend must have been. it cannot be expressed, only felt :)
Posted by
Very Sweet !
A good lesson for me about long distance relationship. ; - )
Cheers, Rohit
Posted by on January 8, 2006 12:52 PM
What a touching story. Reaffirms our dwindling faith in love as we continue to live in these cynical times. Also reminds of Marquez's "Love in the Time of Cholera" that also dwelt on love in all its forms in particular the half a century longing of the protagonist for his beloved..I still remember the opening lines where the scent of bitter almonds was equated with unrequited love. However, in this case, love did not remain unrequited!
thanks again
Posted by
Hello Raza,
Glad you liked it :)
Hope to hear more positive stories such as this one in the future!
Posted by
Shajra Bi, she is truly a very brave woman. I wonder how many young women of today would have the courage to go with their marriage proposal to an old flame. It shows how love can be such an empowering force.
Posted by
Shubzee
What a wonderful piece. Shajra Bi looks so beautiful and radiant it says it all. And as Annie says rightly her courage is tremendous to actually propose to her lover after all these years. They are truly a couple worth toasting. Bless them!
Posted by
Just the simplicity of deep meeting; when two separate halves become one, reconciling each other with themselves; finding is the opening that recognizes...
exemplified by these two soul mates..
this is a reminder. thanks
Posted by
Thank you Annie, Jasjit and Sukanya for sharing your thoughts.
Posted by
Shubhosree,
Sorry Shubz couldn't say this earlier but its a great piece you have here.
Its this whole thing about the three stages of life which the Dharmashastras speak of. The last stage in your life is 'sanyas' or 'vanvaas' where you have to leave behind or draw yourself away from 'worldly desires'. Old people being frowned upon for seeking love, romance, companionship is a reflection of this mind set.
Young, middle-aged, old- all of us crave for love and companionship.
Posted by
Hey Chaitali!
Not a problem ....
Yeah I agree with you. The whole concept of 'vanvaas' is another reason why people look down their nose at old people longing for companionship. Its almost as if its a crime and not a nice "elderly" thing to do!
Posted by
Hi
"Shajra Bi was married off and as a reaction to that, Hussain brought home two more wives"
Do you call it love? Where did that guy sacrifice? He married 4 women.
And what about the women he got married to? If he was in love with Shajra Bi, was it not unfair to his four wives? This is definitely not love.
Ajay
Posted by
Hi Ajay,
Welcome to the blog!
To answer your question, Ajay, there are many things that people do that do not necessarily belong to the realm of logic or rationale. People do many different things to stave off hurt/anger. I am not condoning Hussain's marriage to the 2 women after Shajra Bi was married off. However, the highlight of my piece was simply the love that was shared between the two of them. The love that survived the separation and remained as pure and intense as the first time they had met.
Posted by
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Wonderful piece. How true it is about how we assume that old people have no romantic desires/needs. Why indeed should love be restricted to the young of age, makes perfect sense that it infact belongs to the young of heart.