I liked the piece you wrote. Its true that when you don't have a man/boyfriend in your life people look at you with pity. Suddenly you don't fit into your friends circle or you are like the odd one out option of your multiple choice MBA question paper! But its just not other people. Sometimes its even your own fear of lonliness that makes you look around desparetly for a (human) companion.

Hi Lonely girl. Good point about being lonely in a large city. I have just moved to Delhi and I am very much the lonely boy. Was wondering if you are going to put in any man's point of view to. BTW I noticed there is only one man amongst the authors. Why is that?

Hi Prashant! Glad you could see the point I was making. And yes, it holds true for girls and guys alike. The reason why I chose to write from a girl's point of view was (apart from the fact that I am a girl and have a better understanding of the situation) that it starts off quite early for a girl and in a much more intense way.

However, you are most welcome to put down your take on it. We would love to read it :-)

Cheers!

Hi Shubhoshree,

Your article is really interesting and is aptly put in words -- close to many of our own experiences. I think it's quiet natural for any body -- woman or man, to feel a need to have a partner at a certain age. Be it biological or hormonal. Today living alone or being alone is becoming more common with the changing lifestyles and personal goals. Alone-ness is not equal to lonely-ness. But even if a person is alone, interference of the society at large makes this really unbearable at times.

Often the fear of being pitied that you are alone is worse than actually feeling lonely. Many
emancipated and more career oriented women of today will agree that they don't feel that "lonely without a man" syndrome so drastically.

Yet it's true that many people are so harangued that they would enter a relationship or marriage just to escape the tag "Lonely". In case of men it's different. It's not they are not lonely. But being involved with career, or playing the field, are readily accepted as a man's need for freedom before marriage. Also his "need for security" or "safety" is his own responsibility. He doesn't need to have a spouse or girlfriend for that.

Another interesting observation I made is that the term "Freedom" for women was closely linked with marriage. Many households, parents, serials, movies almost everywhere you see women are promised the heaven once they are married. As if once married their life will be a bed of roses. Where as for men ,marriage mostly is referred as "loosing his freedom." So many women see marriage or a relationship as liberty to have have fun, do all that they couldn't do being single.

It's not just the women or men themselves but even their parents need a lot of insight to accept existence and being happy with oneself, without the need to cling to someone.

Well.. thanks for the lovely article...but do you know what a man goes of the same age group who doesnt have a girl friend or is not married goes through?.
He is considered a loser for life. I mean the peer pressure is so much that guys end up in brothrels for an experience. Girls can have the priviledge of carrying the "tag" of of being homely, susheel and what not, but guys are made fun of everytime they go out with friends or in group circles. A guy who waits till marriage is considered a loser i still dont know why.
I guess its not whether you are a girl or a boy its just that the society in which u move makes u feel like that. If you have good friends or peers who like spending time with you. It doesnt matter whether you have a boyfriend or not

Dear Sangeeta,

Couldnt agree with you more.

Dear Mr. Lonely,

First off, on a lighter note, just wanted to share that your name reminds me of the song "LONELY" by Akon :). anyways, thanks for sharing your side of the story with us. Yes, I do believe that it is hard on guys as well. I have some male friends who have expressed and shared this with me that it gets very depressing for them too, to be all by themselves specially at some social gathering like may be at a party, official or personal.

but the point to be pondered upon here is that, is this lonliness really there or is out of sheer feeling of being left out, being the odd one out? Because that can be disastrous as that leads people to force themselves into doing something they dont want to.

So essentially I wrote this piece to express our (and by 'our' I mean all young girls and guys) side of the story to the rest of the society so that they can get a better understanding of who we are, our situations and our feelings, with the hope that we can all live happier! :)

Cheers!