In the recent past we saw many such upheavals in the various employment sectors of women. Whether she is a president or a police officer, an astronaut or a bar tender, everywhere she is an outsider, trying to break the ‘glass ceiling’. Trying to cross over the ‘iron wall’… or the ‘Threshold’. Fighting for her right to work and get the job she wants.

But where is this ‘glass ceiling’ or ‘iron wall’… or the ‘Threshold’??? Has anyone seen it ever? Is it in our mind? Or is it in the Man’s mind? Are there any such adages used for men who take up jobs which are primarily done by women? If anyone knows of them I would love to hear them.

Men are taking up nursing, stripping, massage, cooking, tailoring, makeup and even being nannies. But no eye-brows are raised at their new adventures, new choices of jobs or achievements. The only change is that earlier a ‘nurse’ or a ‘stripper’ primarily meant a woman, so now a word “Male” or “man” is added as a prefix.

In many countries, women who are doing jobs which have been traditionally done by men are not seen as aliens. There are really very few places where gender definitions rule the work environments. In most places a job is a job and a worker is a worker irrespective of their sex. What takes precedence over gender is obviously job expertise.

Be it dangerous jobs, of Army, air force, police, divers; intellectual jobs of scientists, researchers, professors, creative jobs of films, media or even hard core jobs like truck driving or carpentry, plumbing and construction, women are everywhere. From diving, into deep seas, to researching the Amazon, or taking on Space, there really can be very few jobs where there are no women. I recently saw a woman who is a motorcycle speed tester!. From extreme sports to beauty queens, women can excel in any field they choose to.

Based on their expertise, where they reach, can be a difficult task for every woman around the world. Every woman around the world knows that she has to work “double than a man to get half his pay and credit.” But maybe it is a degree easier in certain societies and countries, since the “man’s world” concept is slowly fading away. Women are taking up so many jobs and do so successfully that the concept of gender based jobs is slowly vanishing from these cultures. Unlike India where even a most talented, qualified woman is left on a “consideration” for a job, if an equally qualified man is there.

In India most of the time it is believed that when a woman comes out to work, it is either for sheer fun, or maybe because there is no other earning member in the family. I had a boss, who often claimed, “You girls don’t need to work so hard. Just earn enough pocket money, and then get married and have a relaxed life on your husband’s pay. Look at us, we have to raise a family and work so hard”. It was quiet exasperating.

So one day I finally told him, “It is really a pressure on you that your wife doesn’t work, but just imagine if she did, wouldn’t your life be a bit easier. Besides if she could earn more than you then you could also have a lot of fun on her money, isn’t it. The basic idea is we are both either working for money, or for the sheer joy of having a career. You may feel sad that you are working to feed two people at home, but I feel glad that I am taking care of two old people at home. The bottom line is we are both here because we work hard.”

Much later when I was nearly 30 and was looking for a job… repeatedly I encountered one question at the interview… “Married? Any plans of marriage soon? Are you planning to work after marriage?”
Initially I didn’t get the hint. I was surprised, when it was written in my CV that I am single, I wondered why this query was raised. But soon I realized the purpose. The HR manager of a leading global IT company said, “You see a lot of work goes on into choosing a candidate… and then suddenly if she gets married and goes away… it’s a loss for us.” I wasn’t prepared for this, but I did answer him and many after him.
“If I told you that I am getting married in 6 months, would you not employ me? And if I am telling you that I have no such plans in near future then would you not trust me? Then in that case I cannot trust this company. Who can say what might happen tomorrow. I may not have any plans from marriage, and you employ me, and while coming to office I get mowed down by a bus, you will still be at a loss. Besides many men leave jobs within 6 months of joining in lure of better pay. Do you ask every man you interview, “Are you planning to leave if you get a better pay?”

After marriage I thought the scenario would change, but it is still the same. Now HR managers ask me, “Married? When did you get married? babies….?? Not yet?... OK we still have time. “ In one interview… I actually told the guy, “no-no I don’t have time… we will soon plan something…. And I will let you know… !”
I burst out laughing when I walked out, his face was a sight.

So being a woman, my parents gave me a lot of education… to “make me stand on my own two feet” so to say. My father had a dream that I will have a great career. Being a woman in a “man’s world” I had a tough time getting my first job. Then by the time I did grow a bit on the rungs after fighting several bosses who thought I just worked for pocket money, I reached my marriageable age. Then again I faced a shortage of offers. Eventually I convinced my employers and worked on contracts… “That I will not get married and ditch them halfway.”

Finally I am married and the offers are getting fewer by the day. Even if I manage to get something now… I know the question of reaching home on time, doing all the homely responsibilities and managing a job will again create stress for me, especially with a husband who will go hungry rather than cook for himself. Again after my baby I have to struggle for a foot hold.

Someone close to me suggested “why are you so hell bent on a career? Have fun take rest. Enjoy your marriage. Anyway you have worked so hard for 15 yrs. It’s enough, now you relax.” I cannot explain to her that because I have worked for 15 yrs I love my work and want to work till the last day I die. She is no different from my boss.
So it is not that bad really. I do have choices. One aunt said, I could become a teacher. It’s the best job, after you get married. You will get all the holidays and come back home in time to cook also. Surprisingly I was also one of those who wanted to become a 'super woman of sorts fighting the man's world'. Not that I have one in my head, but the one in the outside world. In the “Man’s world” . Do some freelancing. That way you can work from home and cook and look after your child as well.

Probably if I wanted to have fun on my husband’s money, I wouldn’t be running from HR to HR trying to convince them “NO I am not planning a baby soon.” Probably if I had taken up a job in a woman’s world it would have been different. There the women would understand that I can get married and can get pregnant, yet I have a right to a job. A job I like, and a job I prefer. But unfortunately I am blinkered towards gender defined jobs and roles. So I struggle to break the glass ceiling. Waiting for the day when there will be no sex difference and I can sing.

OHH! Baby baby it’s a man’s world and its 'reigning' women halleluja its 'reigning' women.
I am no super woman. I am a normal woman, with my family and biological responsibilities, as well as a love for a certain kind of work and an ambition for a successful career. That's all. Why complicate things.