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Sex In The Hair
By Chaitali Dasgupta - 11:04 AM Thursday 23 February 2006
Seated on the specially marked ‘ladies seat’ in a bus, a hand tapped my shoulder. Looking up I saw a woman, who was instantly startled and muttering an embarrassed ‘sorry’ rushed off. She had mistaken me for a boy.
Nothing new for me for all through school and college I was quite used to that reaction to my close-cropped hair. Hair is still unfortunately a social convention to separate the gals from the guys. The association is so deeply etched in our minds, that its more like a reflex for the brain to scream long hair means ‘women and femininity’ and short hair, ‘men and masculinity.’ Probably that is why newspapers were carrying caricatures of Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam when he was elected as the President of India. The image of a long-haired President wreaked havoc with middle-class propriety.
Susan Brownmiller in her famous book ‘Femininity’, a witty and informed take on the ambiguities surrounding femininity, points out how popular fictions/classics romanticize the long ‘feminine’ hair and mourn the loss of the female tresses as a loss of ‘femininity’. In O’ Henry’s ‘The Gift of Magi’ the love between the protagonists Jim and Della lead them to sacrifice their most precious belonging- Jim’s ancestral gold wristwatch versus Della’s ‘cascade of brown hair’. Then there was Jo from ‘Little Women’ who ‘sacrificed’ her ‘one beauty’, her hair for meeting with the family’s financial crisis. The stories peg on the tragedy of the loss of a woman’s greatest ‘asset’. As Brownmiller states ‘If one doesn’t feel that short hair is a tragic, feminine loss, the stories lose much of their poignant drama.’
Have you ever watched hair product (especially hair oil) ads? Notice, they always pick women with long hair. It’s always intrigued me as to what about all the thousand who now have short tresses? Are they not worthy of a bounce in their hair? And men? Do they need hair oil only to keep away headaches (thanda thanda cool cool), like Amitabh Bachchan and Govinda? Don’t they need healthy hair given that genetically, men tend to be victims of baldness more than women? If the shampoos, oils and conditioners are such wizards at hair gloss and rebirth men should be the first ones to line up.
Well, it’s not about healthy hair at all. Short hair women don’t feature, because their hair does not spell as the ‘oomph’ of femininity. A wife decides to use a particular hair oil to free her hair from knots, only after her husband’s fingers get knotted in the midst of a romantic episode. Another young girl lies about her long hair to her online boyfriend. Petrified on hearing that he is coming to meet her, she slaps on the hair oil to avoid being ‘rejected’.
Kajol in the blockbuster movie ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hain’ is able to attract hero SRK’s attention only after trading in her ‘tom boyish’ hair for the sultry, long tresses (and naturally chiffon saris, tons of jewelry, and an accidental cleavage display.)
Fairytales or exotic legends only came with long, flowing hair as the ultimate feminine bedazzlement, sexually potent- erotic, sensuous and sexually charged. In the fairytale ‘Rapunzel’ the young prince is in fact engulfed by his lover’s hair (as could be half of humanity if you remember). The image of Lady Godiva, naked but covered with her lustrous hair, riding a horse through town to honour her husband’s oath is still riding through history as ultimate female erotica. In our own desi roop kathas, there are numerous sexual allegories around the heroine’s hair, which is ‘as dark and long as the night’.
Mass media, not to be outdone, perpetuates these images of femininity with alacrity. The conclusion is that your femininity (read your sexual appeal) is your long, glorious hair. As for men, the macho sex appeal lies in ‘suiting-shirting’, ‘after shaving’, ‘fresh breathing’ and of course their ‘axe’ (body spray) ‘aaahh’ effect. Right and now what is it with the new wall size chests, boomcep’d instead of bicep’d male, complete with evening shadow and yikes, locks trailing his shoulders? Is this the new she-man, he-woman or a hopeful hybrid?
In ancient times, long hair was a prototype for men with power, physical strength, holiness, nobility and other masculine values. Classic Japanese art pictured men with long pigtails and even elaborate hairstyles. In many African tribes decorating the hair with shells, feathers, beads etc is a sign of masculine prowess (a practice probably inspired by the lion’s mane or the colourful display of exotic male birds.). Long-haired wigs were used as a sign of aristocracy, in the Victorian era. In ancient Hindu texts a description of the valor of a great king or saviour invariably mentions the elegance of his ‘hair blowing in the wind, glowing with the light of the sun as he rides on his horse.’
While the romanticized imagery associating the cascade of hair with femininity is sexually exciting and intoxicating, it does not fit in with the socially acceptable image of the virtuous woman. The virtuous woman can’t be going around flaunting her hair and sexually arousing men! Left unpinned and untied this sexual ‘organ’ can be ‘dangerous’.
In Hindu mythology the rage of the female God is symbolized by her open, unkempt, ‘wild’ hair. According to Hindu myths, to slay the demon ‘Asura’, the Gods combined their forces and created Goddess Durga. It is believed that each God contributed to give Durga a powerful physical form. Yama, the God of death, used his powers the give her ‘dark cloud’ of long hair. No doubt a symbolic relation between death and long hair is made here. The most interesting Goddess is Kali, who not only appears naked but with her long tresses always open and wild. If examined with depth the hair symbolizes the free, un-harnessed sexual potency of the goddess. For in her entire symbolism she deifies all principles of the demure feminine. And her rich flying hair is the almost ‘ominous’ reminder to all. Let’s not forget that Draupadi was dragged by her open hair into the court, when Duryodhana ‘won’ her from her five husbands. Sexual ownership was the obvious message of his rather violent act.
Mothers and grandmothers tying the hair of young girls into tight braids making sure that not even one hair strayed from their grip, following a practice that is done consciously/unconsciously to keep the potentially dangerous sexuality of girls in check. Many societies, cultures and religions prescribe women cover their hair so as not to give any ‘wrong messages.’
And how can we forget the ‘ritual’ of cutting/shaving a widow’s hair, which is perhaps the most horrendous statement about hair and sexuality. Shaving/chopping her hair is symbolic of ‘announcing’ the widow is sexually and socially ‘dead’. Even today we get to hear incidents of women’s hair being cut off (along with parading them naked, raping them) as a punishment for behaving in an inappropriate manner.
Perhaps it is this ‘uncontrolled’ and ‘sexually potent’ symbol of long hair that was reclaimed by many men- pop singers, hippies, and men in ‘unconventional’ roles- to use it as a sign of dissent against societal/gender norms.
Mass media, popular cultures and religious and moral police still hold on to conventional images of women, using ‘hair’ to define femininity. Though many women have broken away from the braided chains of conformity, women even today are unable to chop their hair without a thought to ‘felling femininity’.
Posted By Chaitali Dasgupta - 11:04 AM Thursday 23 February 2006
Comments
Just an afterthought ...
It has been quite evident that guys generally like women with long hair (of course there are exceptions but I am talking about the majority of guys). I think somewhere this plays a big role in making a girl desire long hair. Its looked upon as a way to 'attract' guys. I have a feeling that if tomorrow, guys start to prefer girls with short hair, girls will start cutting their hair short.
Any thoughts?
Posted by
Hey Chaitali
At the outset thanks for such a refreshing piece.
Was having a bad day in office. Feel much better now.
Femininity vis-à-vis Long Hair …Thanks & Congrats ! it made for a fascinating read. Thoroughly enjoyed the subtle humor underlying the spirit of the message you tried to convey. I think the term used for gals getting short hair was “Boy Cut” [or Bob-Cut ? I am still not sure after all these years ;-) ] That pretty much says a lot about this whole thing !
On a serious note they are all part of the stereotypes which afflicts our society. And there are so many of them Your article “And The ad says You Look Bad” also talks of a similar predicament.
Dear Shubhosree
“…quite evident that guys generally like women with long hair..”
That’s a generalization alright ; but not without a reason. Its just an extension of the whole syndrome of placing too much importance on physical attributes (fair ,long hair etc).
Frankly we all would like to see the day when we are not judged by physical attributes so I just hope guys in the first place don’t prefer girls depending on their hair length and accordingly girls don’t follow suit !
Wishful Thinking !! But thankfully to some extent I feel things are changing, though the pace is pathetic and its mostly restricted to the metropolis.
P.S : By the way did anyone see “ Gentleman Prefer Blondes” ;-)
Posted by
Hey Prasun,
Good point about 'Boy-cut' (and btw, its referred to as both boy-cut and bob-cut :) ). The very style of short hair being termed as BOY cut, gives out the message loud and clear that 'you are not feminine anymore'. Quite sad.
You are right about things changing gradually. I dont think guys make it a pre-requisit of sorts anymore, but probably hint at it in subtle ways like, "you look/would look so beautiful with long hair" (just insinuations :) ).
"we all would like to see the day when we are not judged by physical attributes"
Amen!
Nope, havent seen that movie.
ps: glad to know the blog is a breath of fresh air in the midst of a tough day at work :)
Posted by
Dear Prasun,
Glad the piece helped you cheer up. I have to thank you for helping me decide on the heading for the article. Yesterday i open thread you had written about 'Sex in the Mind'. Thats when I got the idea to call my piece 'Sex in the Hair'. So this ones for you friend :)
Yeah the term was 'Boy cut'. And Shubz I remember my dad making a long face whenever I came back with a shorter than short haircut. He would say 'Abaar shae Boy cut!' (Again that Boy cut hair style.)
Bob cut I think was used to describe women who were very stylish and had short hair. Prasun another thing I remember hearing from my parent's generation was the word 'Mod' to describe a woman who was stylish in her dressing and hasdhair. The word 'Mod' was often used with a sarcasm, contempt.
These terms have become obsolete now. But attitudes still remain the same.
I think I remember seeing the movie. Blonde hair, especially, in women in the US is seen as a sign of sexiness 'complimented' with dumbness or vice versa. Remember the movie Legally Blonde where the blonde heroin was 'clever' in her own 'dumb' ways.
Posted by
Oops missed a whole word "...'Mod' to describe a woman who was stylish in her dressing and had SHORT hair. The word 'Mod' was often used with a sarcasm, contempt.
I think I have seen the movie. Can't remember it vividly though.
Posted by
your comment was hilarious Chaitali (for the typos!!!) .. are you having a bad hair day by any chance? ;-D
Posted by
Dear Chaitali
You are welcome. Though honestly you dont need to thank me for the Title !! Its totally my pleasure & privilege.I am honoured ;-)
Well my aunt's [pishi as well as maashi ;-)]have boy cut.So thankfully to some extent the term 'Mod' was not in our "family vocab" ;-)
The term "Mod" however reminds me of another gross sexist remark,which was quite prevalent during college days "BTM" (do i need to decipher the acronym ?)
"Abar shaae Boy-Cut !!" Fortunately i was spared of that comment ;-)
Dear Shubhosree
So finally the air gets cleared..Its both Boy as well as Bob Cut !!
Thanks :-)
Posted by
Dear Chaitali,
I was wondering how on earth you came up with such a unique and fascinating topic!!! It is a wonderful article.I never thought that a simple thing like our hair could have such interesting features to it.Things that we see all the time just go unnoticed most of the times.Take for example our tooth.It's only when we feel the sharp and throbbing pain that we realize we do have something very important in our mouth.I should know 'coz tomorrow is going to be my third sitting with the dentist :-)
Shubhosree,
I can very well feel what it was like for your mother to cut your hair.I went through it myself.But,I must confess,my daughter looks a cutie-pie with her shoulder lenght hair.To hell with long,sensuous,feminine hair.
Posted by
Hey Chaitali!
Hitting a fresh note, yet again. The title really says it ;-). Great piece. Running thru the different ages, presenting some serious & funny instances.
You've so easily made a link between the Sexuality / Feminism with the Hair (being Long or Short).
Chaitali, Shubhosree, Prasun:
With you on the thought that biasing people & their sexuality on the basis of the length of their 'hair' would mean ignoring their whole 'self' - their identity. And it's not just hair (like Prasun said), its true for any other physical attribute too.
BTW - On a lighter note - Just wondered - had Draupadi had a Bob-cut, I believe the Mahabharata that we know now would've been a bit different, wouldn't it? :-D
I feel everyone is free to choose his/her own style of Hair (Long, short, coloured, or any style), kind of clothes, etc. Just like one chooses to express anything in a certain way he/she feels comfortable with.
With you guys on the thought that we can't / shouldn't judge one's sexuality from one's Hair style (or any other physical attribute).
(Hey, with you guys around, I feel like learning Begali too. I've always found it 'smooth'. Don't know why I chose that word).
Posted by
Hey there Sunrise,
Your thoughts are so open - optimistic - a sunrise indeed ;-)
Posted by
Dear Sunrise,
Its nice to know that your mindset has changed. May be thats why your daughter made you do it. There is a purpose to everything! :-)
You are right about us taking so many things forgranted. Thats why I feel it is important to be thankful and grateful to your body. It is important to let your body know that it is appreciated by you. And that, I believe, brings in a feeling of comfort with your body, thereby helping in developing a healthy sexuality. Most of the time, we find young girls hating their bodies (for whatever reason, not slim enough, not fair enough, hair not long enough, height not good enough etc). Chaitali's piece also confirms that something like the length of your hair can also cause you so much trauma!
Btw, Good Luck with your appointment! :-)
Dear Surya,
Bengali is a very easy language to pick up. So I am sure you will have no problem. Hope you find a teacher soon :-)
Posted by
Dear Sunrise,
It is fascinating isn't it! I guess it's the years of short hair and 'mistaken' identity that made this association so evident to me. Here's another incident that happened with me.
Once when I was waiting for my teacher to give me my admit card I saw that she missed my card while flippnig through the whole bunch. I brought it to her notice. She apologised saying that the photo on the card made her think it was a guys card. I didn't mind it coz like Surya has said, I loved my hairdo and was very comfortable with it.
About the tooth... your'e right. But don't worry it'll be alright at the dentist's for I too sport 30 natural and one artificial tooth ;)
Surya,
I guess if Draupadi had bob-cut then not only would Mahabharat have been different but even less voluminous. For one the pages describing her beauty would have been absent!
And dear Sunrise,
Three cheers for 'to hell with long, sensous feminine hair.' And a toast to healthy hair!
I'm sure for a mother/father their children will look beautiful no matter what hairstyle they have.
Posted by
Shubz I hope atleast bad hair day is not gender specific? Guys do you have bad hair days too?
Posted by
Hey Chaitali
Dont know of "bad hair days" coz i just have a bad hair irrespective of the days ;-)
Posted by
Dear Chaitali,
Let me assure you---guys too have bad hair days.I know of a guy who,after taking a bath,went around searching for his wife's 'Livon'.It seems after shampooing, his hair just refused to sit still. It kept on sticking out.Don't know whether it helped or not.
Posted by
Not at all my dear Chaitali. It goes for men and women alike! Just a phrase that was popularised by the movie 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and was actually said by a woman (Buffy, played by Kristy Swanson) to a man (one-armed vampire Amilyn, played by Paul Reubens). And the line I believe was, "I'm fine but you're obviously having a bad hair day.".
Just a bit of info there on the origin of the phrase :)
Posted by
That's just it Sunrise. Why don't livon ads then show men using them too? My bro-in-law uses it too and one day when I was having a bad hair day he suggested that I use livon and even lend me his bottle.
Prasun sorry I guess there is no solution to your bad hair coz like I wrote for men hair oil is for curing headaches. Or maybe you can try Livon too :)
Posted by
Hey Surya aka Shoorjo :-)
Buddy !! Dont worry about Bengali...main hu na ;-)
Posted by
Hey Chaitali,
What an interesting piece on HAIR!!! I can so relate to everything you say as (everyone must know by now), I too have 'Boy-cut' hairstyle.
Anyways, I just came to say that I am caught up in a workshop. So I might be a little irregular in commenting. Nice to see the lively conversation taking place here! Keep blogging!
Cheers! :-)
Posted by
Hey Chaitali
I guess i just have to live with it..my bad hair i.e
Instead of "Livon" i will just Move-on with it ;-)
Posted by
Hey all you lovely people!
Chaitali when i read the title of your piece j was wondering .... how does hair fit in the schoeme of things? but hats off to u for pulling it off so brilliantly!!?
i too have short hair for many years now and had o face quirte a bit of resentment at hpme. i was quite yojng then. i remember Venkat's mom also didnt like my short hair, a little orthodox. but luckily, Venkat never bothered about it and was always supportive of my choices.
you go for it gals!!! :-)
Posted by
Hi Chaitali,
Great piece! i am with you Radhika, i couldnt understand how is hair going to be related to all this? but was pleasantly surprised. very well written.
i just wanted to add that its not just girls with short hair. even guys with long hair are not considered to be very 'manly'. and for guys, it has got associated with the artistes, like painters, musicians, photographers etc. and there also i feel the reason is bcoz these professions are considered to be 'feminine' and so guys entering them automatically grow their hair as a statement they are comfortable with their feminine side! is this alright? i mean whats wrong with a guy having short hair if he is a painter or in any other field of fine arts? is it that he fears not being taken seriously or simply bcoz he would feel out of place?
Posted by
This is really funny ya! So many times I've wanted to buy some hair products for my hair but I feel so shy to buy thinking that people will laugh at me. So I generally ask my girlfriend or sis to get it for me.
Once I wanted to grow my hair long and the amount of opposition that I faced at home was like wow! I did grow it for a while but then it was too much of a hassale, especially in summers. So chopped it off. My parents were really relieved.
Posted by
Dear Chaitali,
How did you even think of such a unique piece?:)
I simply loved the way you constructed the post and related it to many different things.
As sex is in the hair, I am right now the least sexiest guy around...I have a hairless head after tonsuring it in Tirupati.
No wonder girls in my city are giving me disinterested looks. :) and some are not even bothering to look :)
but a brilliant piece by you. Your perception is different and the angle of your thoughts bring a smile to the face.
Posted by
Prasun,
Right friend move-on.
Ahem Shoorjo that was quick. Did you take the 'Learn Bengali in 24 hours' lessons coz that was mighty quick! Anyway that was great. Well done!
Dear Aachi,
Aah! But you see Aachi thats were the twist is. Your shaven head could be a turn on for someone and a complete turn off for another.
Glad you liked the piece. When I read your latest article in which you had mentioned about your tonsured head I had a smile on my face coz thats when I was writing this article.
Posted by
hey chits,
what a hair raising piece I must say... haaaaaiiiii a big hi to everybody, I miss you guys so much, and your comments. I only get to read it all in the night. as my office doesn't allow to open any site which has the word 'sex' ha ha ha....
you know all of you guys have picked up gr8 points on hair...Hair is not just related to sexuality it's even related to freedom...
I am just stating some associations which randomly came to my mind when we talk of sexuality and identity vis a vis sitting on head.
Freedom -- I had waist length hair till in school and it was only when I started going to college I slowly started cutting it short...
Power -- it can either be the biggest weapon or the biggest weakness....for draupadi it was her biggest insult to have been pulled by her hair, that she promised to wash her hair in Duryodhan's blood....
and there are men and women so weak about it that there are even instances of measuring a girl's hair while looking for marriage....
I have personally seen ads where men ask even in 21st century -- "plese send a photo with your hair open..."
Hiding sexuality -- The classic Mills & boons Ms.secretary who ties a chignon, wears glasses and formals until she is "floored" by the macho boss and is asked to wear her hair loose....
Character -- Wearing or tossing the hair has always been connected with wanton behaviour...
Rebellion -- I know someone who shaved off her head, as a stark rebellion against her father, since he asked her to discontinue her studies....
Faith -- Aachi I have a friend, she always tonsures her head at Tirupati. She is a walking example of the immense fight she has to put up to even keeping the same faith on god as men.
And it really is strange that shampoo and hair oil ads are only focussed on women. Even that odd lice ad is also on "girls with long hair"...???
Profession -- Being in the art stream I have met many men with long hair... it's supposed to be related to "eccentric, bindaas or even a square pegs" sometimes considered unattractive to people of other professions...
Identity --- yes it's true sometimes hair is just used as a profession identifier....it is just to "be" in a certain proffesion hair is used as an I card or a silent visiting card....look at drummers, fashion designers, bikers... and guys from ad and media. Even body piercing and earings for that matter are so related to certain gender and sexuality.
but this was the best example by chaitali to relate it directly to sexuality...
addendum ---- not to mention that gel ads are only for men, as women can't use it since they don't have chest hair.
;-)
Posted by
I strongly disagree with the following statement..
quote: Mothers and grandmothers tying the hair of young girls into tight braids making sure that not even one hair strayed from their grip, following a practice that is done consciously/unconsciously to keep the potentially dangerous sexuality of girls in check. Many societies, cultures and religions prescribe women cover their hair so as not to give any ‘wrong messages.’
I agree that the practice still exists, but it is not for the reason u quoted. I don't think "Sexuality" is the right word to use here..
For that matter, even many scriptures portray the evil spirits with long hair. From what i know, for some reason, it is believed that untied hair makes them "wild" (anger) - a prelude to death and destruction. I don't think it is done to keep the sexuality in check. ;-)
Also, if you take a look at the models.. not many of them have long hairs. what do you say for that?
Posted by on February 23, 2006 11:52 PM
Sorry guys for adding multiple posts..
again.. quote from the author.
"And how can we forget the ‘ritual’ of cutting/shaving a widow’s hair, which is perhaps the most horrendous statement about hair and sexuality. Shaving/chopping her hair is symbolic of ‘announcing’ the widow is sexually and socially ‘dead’. Even today we get to hear incidents of women’s hair being cut off (along with parading them naked, raping them) as a punishment for behaving in an inappropriate manner."
I agree with you that it is/was a horrible practice to begin with.
One can even argue from this point. Shaving/Chopping a women's head is done because of one main reason.(but then many came up with their own interpretations)
If their intent was to make her sexually dead, they could have used other methods, because, hair as such continues to grow..
It is done so that when you remove hair from one's head, the whole facial contour changes making them look different to the members of the society. (because in olden days, the society was given the first preference.. individual comes next)( I still hate that practice)
I don't know.. i may be wrong.. ;-)
Posted by on February 24, 2006 12:10 AM
all my life i had short hair..
the hair thing is such a big deal now a days..abt long hair!!!!
its just a conditioning which has to be unlearnt..and tht would only happen when every girl wud be judged by her actions and not her looks..
girls are not dolls they are souls with lot of compassion and intellect..
Posted by
Hey Karthik,
Welcome to the blog! Interesting blog you got going there and I love the name :)
And Sangeeta, Welcome back!! Some great points!
Posted by
Hi Karthik,
When you say that long untied hair is symbolic of 'evil', 'death' and 'destruction', 'anger' etc. it would mean that the person sporting the hairstyle is being associated with these characteristics. So the person is evil, destructive, wild and deadly. That is the identity that is being given to the person in question. Isn't identity a part of sexuality, of our sexual being? What is sexuality/sexual being? Is it only related to the physical body?
As for the practice of shaving a widow's head I think you have answered yourself. Yes it changes the contours of her face, makes are 'look' different from the other women who are married so sexually still 'active', from the virgins who are yet to become sexually 'active'. The widow has to 'look' different from them; she is no longer a virgin and she is no longer to be sexually active.
Karthik cutting the widow's hair is not a one time thing. It is never allowed to grow long, it is conttinuosly trimmed and kept short. And yes other methods are also used- she can't wear anything coloured, she has to wear only white that is she is to have no 'colour' in her life, she is no longer a 'social' being. Restrictions are put on what she can eat. She has to eat differently from other women... boiled food, no non-veg because fried things, meat are thought to warm the body (which is again symbolic of 'heating' the body).
Again as you have said '.... the whole facial contour changes.' Covering the hair also gives a similar effect. Why do women in religions and cultures who practice this have to 'look' different by covering their hair?
As for model's having short hair...well they make up for their 'femininity' by having the 'Perfect 10' figure. That's what it is atleast in India. Also models belong to a different world, as it is popularly known as The Fashion 'World'. They are there to make a different statement. Maybe others can answer that better :)
Nice to have you on the blog Karthik.
Posted by
Chaitali
I am glad that Prasun's one liner triggered off, what i can say is one of the most interesting and yes, personally for me the most relatable commentary piece on this blog.
As you may have guessed, i have short hair. I have had them short all my life,cause when i was growing up in the mid sixties there was no Livon available.Like my mothere used to say, i had stobborn hair(which i have passed onto my 6 year old son)which refused to sit down and behave,inspite of bottles of oil and my dad's brylcream, they always stayed spiked up(i guess had it been now i would be "Mod" girl with spiked hair:)).
I did grow it out,when i was 12 years old and for me then that was rebellion, as my mom wanted me to keep it short. Finally the effort of supporting long thick hair was too much for me and this time to my mothers distress(she had now started loving me in the long hair)i took her to the hairdressers with me (as soon as the 10th board results were announced)and had my "boy cut"(kids in schools still refer it as that)This time the hair cut spelt freedom for me.
As the years have gone on, i keep vacillating between various lengths, never going beyond the shoulder. What i have noticed is that now i cut my hair very very short(close to the scalp)everytime i go through a period of stress or change like, after childbirth,changing homes,after an exam etc etc.I feel i have rid myself of the stresses through my tresses, and it has always helped me.
The sexuality part associated with hair has never occured to me (now i shall reflect on it)as i am a hyperactive,high energy person. I need to keep moving on, thus just putting a brush through my hair and running out is my way.I guess with long hair you need to be in front of the mirror a tad longer and my restless self just does not have the patience.
Posted by
Dear Madhavi,
Wonderful one liner 'Rid myself off my stresses through my tresses.' Just love it.
I had spring like hair when I was a kid. My mom just couldn't handle it so she sent me with my dad asking him to get it cut really small. Little did my poor dad know that his telling the hairdresser to give me a 'boy cut' would end up with his daughter adopting this cut as her 'own' hair.
But I've tried long hair and it has its benefits too. Especially during marriages and festivals where you can decorate them with flowers, jewelry. But unfortunately I can never end up maintaining them. I end up chopping them off to rid them of the misery of growing on this uncaring head.
Posted by
Hi Everyone,
I remember a program I saw on TV a while back. It said a lot about which hair style looks good on a specific face - Ovel, round, and others. I think it aimed at pointing out the significance of how one should choose a hairstyle.
My sister's daughter (nearly 13 yrs) was watching it with a lot of interest and by the end she had chosen a hairstyle for herself :-o
I had mixed feelings - Happy because she was old enough to take some decisions for her own self (to look good or rather feel good ;-) )
and on the other hand was thinking how easy it is to influence young minds to think of having a hair style as a fashion statement to either look good / feel good. Of course they must be guided to understand between looking/feeling good as well as having a hairstyle to just be/look attractive.
Just sharing thoughts :)
Posted by
Surya,
Sometime back, Chaitali and I were flipping through one such magazine and came across a similar thing and for the longest time, couldnt figure out how the faces (shapes) were different from each other .... lol .....
Anyways, on a serious note, we live in a world and a time when there is too much information all around, exposure to just about anything made very accessible. So I doubt kids can/should be brought up under the aegis of over-protective parents. But yes, they definitely need to be guided every now and then. Parents should sit down and talk to them about the various new things the kid picks up.
I guess, thats the best we can do as adults! :)
Posted by
Hi Everyone
Subhoshree - Thanks for visiting my blog. I am glad you liked it;-)
For Chaitali
BTW. I forgot to mention. a nice article.
Chaitali: When you say that long untied hair is symbolic of 'evil', 'death' and 'destruction', 'anger' etc. it would mean that the person sporting the hairstyle is being associated with these characteristics. So the person is evil, destructive, wild and deadly. That is the identity that is being given to the person in question. Isn't identity a part of sexuality, of our sexual being? What is sexuality/sexual being? Is it only related to the physical body?
Karthik: I strongly disagree. Not trying to be mean here. haha. But, you can try to explain me on "Sexuality" means. In the modern world, everything appears to revolve around the so called "sexual term". I am NOT trying to say here that sexuality only relates to the physical body, but the word sexuality is really a big word that covers many areas & so usage of this term to that particular example may not be appropriate.
Form what I understand - Sexuality refers to the expression of sexual sensation and related intimacy between human beings, as well as the expression of identity through sex and as influenced by or based on sex.
Well, now coming to the root terms here - what is identity? - sameness of essential or generic character in different instances
The terms "Wild" "anger" are more related to the behaviour than the identity. Kindly make a note here that behaviour/behavioural patterns are temporary! (compare with identity)
Chaitali: As for the practice of shaving a widow's head I think you have answered yourself. Yes it changes the contours of her face, makes are 'look' different from the other women who are married so sexually still 'active', from the virgins who are yet to become sexually 'active'. The widow has to 'look' different from them; she is no longer a virgin and she is no longer to be sexually active.
Karthik: Yes i did answer myself, but i was just trying to make it clear;-) But i try to take it as "Active" & "Inactive" & not sexually active/inactive. ;-)
Posted by on February 24, 2006 10:29 PM
please send me pictures of long hair guys
Posted by
Dear Chaitali
Hi guys just came back to read all the comments here. Chaitali just had to say this again. U've really braided it together quite well:):)
And thanks to the clan for adding really interesting points of view.
love
Posted by
Good reading Chaitali. Truly a lesser thought of connection and yet with myriad and powerful roles to play. I pesonally relate to the long/short ordeal for I have worn it often all way down my waist and then gone all the way to a buzz. Strange everytime I do that so many people pass me by not being able to recognize my face????
But the most freeing experience was when I shaved my head and when I looked into the mirror it seemed like I had always looked like that and it was the most natural way to be. I can't quite recall what it was but I felt I had ended some ridiculous bondage. I wondered then at how irrelevant hair must really be. :-)
Posted by
Whos wearing short hair v/s long hair or whats your hair style your wearing now?
__________________
"I'll have to walk a thousand miles just to find the ground deserving of your feet." ~ Saves The Day
Posted by on October 9, 2006 07:15 PM
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Dear Chaitali,
First off, Congratulations for picking such a unique topic and some amazing connections made!! (Some bits had me in splits!) :-D
To be honest, my first reaction as I was reading the piece, was - "oh God, my heart goes out to women with short hair!" It actually felt unfair to them the way the media and the society goes on about long hair symbolizing femininity.
Personally, I have had long hair till I was in college and then chopped them off. And the shortest I have had is upto my shoulder. So it never really struck me as to how girls with short hair might feel while watching those ads or when someone would pass a comment about the legnth of their hair.
My Dad belonging to the same school of thought which connects Long hair with Femininity. And Ma WAS a part of that school. But I wanted short hair after a point (in college to be precise). So I insisted on it and had my way! And reading this piece brought back that incident of my first 'hair-cut'. I had hair till my waiste then. It was hilarious (for me) and painful for Ma (I made the mistake of asking her to cut them. Dont ask me why I did that). She just couldnt do it!! Everytime she would get the scissors up to my hair, she would almost wince in pain and say, "I cant do it!". No matter how many times I would tell her that, "Ma, they would grow back, you know!", it wouldnt make even an iota of difference to her.
I guess it is all about the 'femininity' aspect that makes it hard for them to accept a girl with short hair. (though she did finally chop 'em :) ).
Some other interesting connections that I liked were about the men being totally ignored as if they do not require oil in their hair; the KKHH connection, how Kajol's charecter was shown to become a 'woman' with long hair (along with other accessories of course); the great pains mothers would take in pinning their girls' hair with ten thousand pins all over her head so that there is no trace of hair anymore; how it all relates to the 'wild sexual' in a girl ....
Really fascinating connections! Great piece Chaitali :-)