Never thought about it earlier Chaitali. But the last line that you have written suddenly seems to be so true. Indeed it is Sexual schizophrenia and not sexual revolution.

Whenever news about Item girls come up in the media I used to find myself at a loss trying to ask myself what would be my opinion if somebody asked me about them. I would find my mind going in all directions. Different voices would be speaking in my mind. Some for them and some against them. I would congratulate them for their confident attitude and at the same time be angry with them for being part of the voyeristic gaze, 'inviting' trouble. When I would be thinking of the latter I would also feel guilty for falling into the same cliche that you have spoken about.

Have been watching the news lately and you are right there seems to be no news about the sex scandal and the use of minors in prostitution in J and K. But spicy hot story about Rakhi Sawant is breaking news, and topic for polls!

Reading the article I realized the hypocricy of it all. As long as the woman says it's my body, I'll do whatever I want with it etc. etc. it's all great and the media is quick to air these views. Reason it gives everyone the voyeristic pleasure of this 'open' female body. But the moment she says 'But I have my boundaries and I don't want anybody crossing that line' the same media and others go into a frenzy because now all the voyeristic pleasure has been taken away with the woman voicing her rights. Urgh It's really infuriating.

It's the clarity, as you have put it, of Rakhi Sawant which is throwing people into this uncomfort. They just can't digest that an 'Item Girl' is speaking of sexual boundaries much unlike the earlier ones. I remember reading somewhere the lines 'I think therefore I'm dangerous.' and so is the case be it of Rakhi Sawant, of a sex worker, of the bar girls, of a rape victim....

Dear Chaitali

I'm soooglad you have written this post. I was just burning up with rage when I saw what was being aired by T.V as 'breaking news' on Rakhi Sawant. Like for 2 days they did not show the shot of Mika brutalizing her but went on and on with her peck. and anyone with half a brain can see she looks shocked and is trying to push him off. What gives...

I agree Rakhi has shown gr8 spunk when everyone is just mocking her. And I love your wonderings :) I just wish these 'item' women get it and either stop this naked stuff or just demand a strong forum of support and legal action against such men. Like this is a professional hazard for them so why don't they get it together. That's it, women just never get it that they need to build support for each other.
You should send Rakhi this article. She needs it!

Dear chatali,
Only the woman is being blamed for everything in India.I have read many columns about this issue from various sources,but no one symphatizes with the girl.They say because she dressed like that she deserved it.Or because she does item numbers she deserves it.When will the Indian populace understand how you dress is only a small aspect of your personality.It does not predict the inner nature of a woman.The movie industry should just ban censorship in the first place.There is no need for it.Movies/videos have become quite bold.The double standard used in the movie/t.v media is too much...

Yes I agree with all your questions and also that we are in schizophrenia as far as sex is concerned. As a parent I feel there is so much confusion in messages that I wonder when my kids grow up who will they really be. I mean my wife and I are fairly liberal people but will my teenage daughter's wish to act in an MTV number be o.k (if its still cool by the time she grows up). The problem I feel is we are not thinking as parents about what is happening. And those that you call 'moral police' are some crazy religious louts who have no moorings in my opinion. Parents, teachers and other guardians of children need to talk about our society and what is to be done. Until that happens the schizophrenia will get worse.

Yes the Sawant girl is made a scapegoat
and she is brave to try to fight like this. But I also feel the question gets confused by the way things are.

Good site, keep it up.

Hi Annie, Diya, Ananya,

Annie I agree with you on the voyeristic nature of the media when it comes to issues related to women.

Ananya yes it is unfortunate that women too play along with these biases and as Annie has said they too allow themselves to become a victim of the voyeristic gaze.

And lets not forget professional competition. One of the woman who spoke against Rakhi Sawant was another 'Item' Girl. One would have expected that she would side with Sawant.

Perhaps Sawant has set a milestone for other women to wake up and voice their protest. Infact she said a very interesting thing to the media. She asked whether their reaction would have been the same if instead of her it was Aishwarya Rai or the likes.

Diya I think that instead of banning censorship what is more important is using the censorship responsibily and in a non-biased manner.

It is a pity to see news channels with well known journalists and reporters playing along with the blame game just for creating 'sensational news.'

Dear Chaitali,
It was a very interesting read and I could identify the rambling which are going on in my own home are more or less the same, people at large have been feeling.

Rakhi is the bad gal becoz she allows lots of skin show, she kisses many people in front of video(in films) and it was a gimmick to gain popularity.

I find there is a dichotomy in our views when we talk about 'other'woman's body and body of one of our own daughter/friend/sister...

Do we see the same act with same emotions(rather no emtions)when one of ur own 'darlings' get abused by someone despite the fact that she is an outgoing, 'butterfly' kind of person???

The problem is that a huge mass of educated peple believe that Rakhi was wrong and she actually provoked Mika.
Now the question is that this is just a tip of the volcano (I dare not say it iceberger)and we need to address the issue at the most fundamnetal level, where people can see the things the way thy are and can respect a persons sexuality and sexual boundaries irrespective of her profession/hobbies/choices/dressing,etc.
And the million dollar question is how to start that???

In my surroundings it is still believed that if I am engaged I should not wear Jeans and skirts, should prepare myself to wear sarees.

Tell me when such is the scene in a middle class well educated urban family, what reaction is expected from such media -pickels???
I am waiting for your response.

Hi Ritu,

I think we have a lot to learn from Rakhi Sawant. Despite the immense media pressure and the usual bantering and accusations that people have been hurling at her she remains unperturbed and undeterred. She is clear on her stand about her sexual boundaries and its limits.

The answer for the million dollar question is start with yourself. You have to be comfortable with your sexuality and clear about your sexual boundaries. I f our notion of sexuality revolves around wearing jeans , skirts or sarees how different are we from the others? Are we also then not caught in the sexual schizophrenia?

Miss Chaitali Dasgupta ,
Yes She was Dressed provactively . yes . but do women go on kissing rampage? . Maybe yes it may have been done for publicity . if not then mika is sure the guilty . and woman most of the time kiss affectionately . thats what difference between man and woman . A peck on the cheek isnt provocative as what mika did .

(qoute : Commenting on the "forced kiss" pop singer Mika Singh reportedly planted on item girl Rakhi Sawant, Tanushree said "I can't say who is guilty and or responsible for all this but every woman, actress and model needs to be conscious about what they wear and which party they are going to attend".

On people from the modelling world being in the news for drug abuse, she said "despite being a model and part of the industry, I have never come across such things because I am a very conservative girl".) thats sounds it the woman is not all evil and bad .

Thank you very much, i think that is the very legitimate start and I should start from there only.

Woman is v--- of all evil

i love my sexy friend

I will say that doing sex is different from looking sexy.Some women wear short skirts jeans,that the reason that they are being raped .If you look hot like tanushree,then u should know she is famous and she cannot be rape by someone.U should wear jeans and sarees both should be carefull.

I will say that doing sex is different from looking sexy.Some women wear short skirts jeans,that the reason that they are being raped .If you look hot like tanushree,then u should know she is famous and she cannot be rape by someone.U should wear jeans and sarees both should be carefull.

Its all back to the same thing, isn't it? Cover up and we're teases. Be bold and we're whores. Either way its our fault.

Good post, Chaitali.

hi raki i see u in big boss u hsanband is sooooooooooooooo cute

Hi, rakhi show us smthng bold

There is a news that rakhi sawant was initialy rakesh sawant and had a sex change.

Dear Chaitali,
Today for the first time i came across ur write up.I am not good enough to make any comment on the piece from a veteren writer like you but from a layman's point of view,it seems to me that you are deeply influenced by female chauvinist ideology.Dear friend its very much true that the Indian women of present day are much wiser ane successful then the men are,this can easily be made out by increasing number of women in civil and other services.But whatever it may be a,a woman is a woman and this distinction has been created by the creator himself,and a bad name if brought to her,remains with her till death.As was aired by various news channels,the footage clearly showed that it was all pre planned and nothing more than a publicity stunt by both Rakhi and Mika.If an Indian woman would be kissed like Rakhi was,she would never go around the room,laughing and pretending that she expected it,as Rakhi did after Mika kissed her.A true Indian woman would instead cry,scream or slap the guy.I agree to you that the matter was too much hyped but that cant be an alibi for woman like Rakhi..