Chaitali

A piece of writing which points to a matter I have been concerned about for many years now. When I was working with Sahil in Pakistan I had a study conducted on the quacks who were running sex clinics in Rawalpindi and Islamabad. We also had their medicines analysed at a laboratory.

When you ask them about the ingredients of their medicines they tell you fantastical stories of how they contain, bear testicles, lions whiskers, turtle shells and what not. In the analysis we found that they largely contained just huge amounts of testosterone!!

There was intense sexual harrasment of women at these clinics, and men were being tested in God awful ways like their penises being vacumed, hit with hammers, placed in suction tubes etc etc.

Endless stories of how dangerous ignorance is and how much money there is to be made from it.

Dearest Chaitali

"What needs to be actively dealt with is breaking myths and beliefs that associate manhood with sexual potency and creating an environment that is free from the echoes of sexual fear and shame." Well put. Bravo for writing such a clear article on one of the most rampant and misunderstood areas of masculinity/sexuality.

Some years ago a friend who was acquainting me with the cultural eccentricities and wonders of Calcutta, suddenly took me into huge park in front of Victoria Memorial into a massive crowd. He said- 'here's what you need to know about male sexuality of the masses in India." At the centre sat a man with all kind of potions and scary looking substances in bottles and packets. Near him in a little cage some newts were running wild with terror no doubt. He was holding up a red colourd oil calling it 'sandey (newt) ka tail(oil)' which is derived from boiling those haples creatures. He was explaining in choicest Bangla (which my friend was kindly translating)how impotence, permature ejaculation etc were the bane of all men and how this was the ultimate cure. Of course he was making the 'ailment's anecdotal and waving some rich almost 'literary' tales around them, creative and funny. Apparently Bengalis excel at the art of even turning the most crass into an art form!!

What struck me was that even though men looked a bit uncomfortable (especially when they saw me since I was the only female there) at their presence there, most had no problem buying it and it did sell like hot cakes. Of course what was funny was some of the better dressed men, addressing no one in particular, were shouting to him, "I'll buy one for my brother-in-law/uncle etc". He did brisk business.

I however left the place damaged by the sight of the newts and the cruelty of man's obsessive libido. Of course when I think of how many Tigers have to be killed so their penises and testicles can be ground up for Sheikhs and Chinamen's soups, oysters as aphrodisiacs etc I really hope that this modern age of understanding libidinal dysfunctions, will at least save some animals form harsh deaths. Of course the question is how to get the message across enmasse.

But then when you look at how Pfizer's stocks rocketed once Viagra came into the market you really wonder if men want to really know the truth at all. When this is the state of 'educated' men in the west what hope is there for the rest???

Jasjit I think even the rihno's horn is thought to enhance 'libido' and that is why poaching of rhinos has also become of a serious issue in wild life conservation.

What utter nonsense! Bear testicles, tiger's penis, rhino horn! Wake up guys from your Safari trip! Just like smashing men's penis is not going to help a bear, tiger or rhino, their's is not going to help you either.Instead gear your energy towards addressing your own issues and trying to develop authentic services that can help you deal with your problems.

Men need to speak up for their health problems like women have.

Anusheh it sounds more like a torture chamber!

Nice piece Chaitali!

Chaitali, Anusheh, jasjit

When I read issues like these why do I want to scream out what's wrong with men's penises??? Why can't they focus elsewhere? Then I think of all the nice, warm men I know (though some maybe be sneaking off to buy sandey oil for all I know lol). Yeah they really need to get their heads around their penises instead of the other way around IMO.
Good post.

Right on that Shagufta, Annie! Anusheh, Jasjit thanks for sharing those informations.

All these strange practices, whether it be of the quacks, or the beliefs that testicles of certain animals can solve problems come from the silence that is maintained over male sexual problems. The notion of manhood, masculinity, machoism, being a man whatever we might call it refuse to attribute that even men can have sexual problems and dificulties too.

One of the reasons for inadequate health facilities dealing with male sexual problems is because of the lack of acknowledgement of male sexual problems. So the first and foremost step has to be to break this silence. Without this I don't think we can help men who are facing sexual dysfunctions.

Hi Shagufta and Annie...that was really hilarious lol.

I can't say about men but you women are obviously thinking & writing a lot about penis!! lol !

And thank god i don't belong to the breed of men you girls are talking about.

Cheers, Rohit

The story is true in most of India. If men do not know wher to go there is big business for qacks. So it is not their fault. Good medical support & right education can change this. You are doing good to bring this situation in open.

Regards

Hi Chaitali

Your post makes me wonder why parents especially fathers do not talk to their sons about performance anxiety etc. And then I think stupid question just like mothers don't talk to daughters about anything to do with body and sexuality. BUt my question is then, that if in the west sex-ed is widespread, parents are way cool than here about kids dating and contraception etc, why the naivete to head for Viagra etc when they know emotional issues affect the sexual. Like it makes you wonder that no matter what knowledge is available human beings will just mess up somehow or the other.

Hi Rohit! Thanks Kalam.

Good Morning Ananya! Yes Ananya just as mothers are mum on topics of sex and sexuality with daughters so are fathers with their son.

Being cool about 'dating' is fine as it allows exploring and expressing sexuality. But when 'dating' becomes a tool for asserting how a guy can score with women or becomes a scale through which a girl's popularity is measured then I don't think there is anything cool about it.

A pat on the back of their son and one or two lines on the birds and the bees and handing a codom or a couple of pills to their children before they go out on a date is thought to be enough for sex education. I doubt that it is so.

Ananya your comment reminded me of a news that I had read a couple of months back about a study conducted in Mexico on the sexual behaviour of school children in schools where sex education was a compulsory part of the curriculum. The study reported that while knowledge about HIV AIDS had increased there was no alteration in risky sexual behaviour. Researchers were of the opinion that the sex education modules were failing to tap the root of the risk behaviour.

Knowing that emotional issues affect the sexual is only the first step towards addressing sexual problems. The next step is to break through all the barriers, myths, misconceptions that hold us back from addressing the emotional issues.

But what Viagra has succeeded in doing is that it has managed to turn these very myths, fear and shame into emotional issues that men face when it comes to sexual dysfunctions. The result-back to square one.

Visited your site by accident, following a link to something else. Glad that I did.

Hi Musafir,

Thank you for appreciating the blog. You have got an interesting blog too. Just went through it.

And welcome to the blog.

Yes you are right. All most all the sexologist are bogus. However few are genune too. See Dr Kothari and Dr Paras From Ahmedabad. You can find many article of both doctor in many leading news papers. See one site www.s4sq.com and see how true doctor work.