What a great article Anusheh! Obsession, something that almost everyone has (varying degrees of course) and yet hardly talked about. Such an interesting aspect you have brought out in the piece about the 'transference' of the obsession. Amazing!

One question though ... is it possible that fulfilling the 'unmet needs' of an obssessed mind may boomerang and intensify its obsession as now it has got a taste of what was missing and wouldnt want to lose it at any cost?? The needy self would then just want to clutch onto the source of that love and validation and then THAT becomes the obsession.

Hope that made sense :)

interesting post, anusheh...one of my cousins is battling this problem with his 5 year old daughter who gets fixated to a cd periodically...she actually can watch the same cd repeatedly over a period of time...i view it as an emergence of "positionality" in mind spaces...where it just gets stuck up...and refuses to move out...it does lead to a lot of unpleasant manifests when thwarted both for adults and kids...in the case of this kid , a shift is observed in the object of desire...periodically..

interesting that most spirituality looks on attachment as an impediment to the discovery of love...whereas more often than not, colloquial manifests of love thrive on attachments...attachment, which is essentailly positionality in mind realms, would also qualify as a subtle manifest of obsession...

Hi Shubhz

You're right. Obsessions can't be resolved by living them out. The root of the obsession has to be understood and the solution lies there. For example, people who are extremely needy say because they never received love and validation from their mother, will continue to project their needs on others regardless of whether they are being fulfilled or not, because the root feeling of being unworthy of love hasnt been healed. Until they dont visit that space within themselves and heal the pain, the obsession with wanting validation from all and sundry will never end. Obsessions just take on monstrous proportions and in the face of the overwhelming desire/need/vacum there is no ability to focus on what life is already offering. So yes feeding obsessions is not going to result in ending them at all.

Have I understood and answered your question properly??

love

Shubz

to answer your question the 'unmet needs' here refer to the deeper vacuity of missing out on essential nurturance, love, gentleness and validation. The obsessions occur as triggers from the mind which is unable to 'get over' if you will, those needs. Transference then helps the person (always subconscious or unconscious though)latch on to another behaviour which in their mind acts as a palliative.

For instance eating disorders are the most common expression of a gnawing heart/mind. Both obesity and anorexia have been (also scientifically) linked to fulfilling many other needs. In our work we have discovered a direct link between eating disorders and emotional aridity. The most poignant case being Princess Diana, who came out in public, admitting that as her marraige went askew and she discovered Prince Charles was emotionally never really 'hers' she swung between bouts of bilumia (eating until you puke) and anorexia (starving yourself). That is why overweight people can go on umpteem diets but reverse back to their weight because they are in fact covering the lack of emotional sustenance they need. Especially in children, when you spot obesity you can get an almost 100% accurate diagnosis of emotional non-fulfillment. That pattern just grows into adulthood. Largely because food is the easiest transference for the gnawing feeling of being alone/unloved/dis-spirited/unappreciated etc. you see food is also a snesory experience- the mouth is higly sensory organ- and love, gentleness etc are also primarily sensory needs. So food creates a great transferance

So when the actual underlying need is identified (and the sad thing is people refuse to look where the problem really lies because they hate to admit the intensity of that which they desire)and healed/fulfilled the obsession in fact disappears.

Hi Sundar

Well as i see it children often get fixated on things. Its just part and parcel of growing up and not necessarily a need for alarm.

Interesting that you equate attachment with obsession. I dont know if I would take it that far. Not all attachment in my opinion has to be obsessive, however of course attachment is a pre-requisite for obsessions. Maybe you can explain what you mean.

Sundar

There is nothing subtle about attachment and neither does it just exist in the mind. It comes from a life experience of expectations/needs/desires which when unmet (usually the case) create massive obsessions and attachment is merely one aspect of those obsessions. Simply put the inability to let go.

That is why Osho was so unique in saying, drop the language, philosophy and artfice of going beyong attachment. It will never happen. Instead look deep into its nature, as fearlessly as possible, uncover its root, soothe the memory which created the root and seek to then fulfill the desire in a positive way for yourself and the other. The attachment will disappear.

Thanks Anusheh and Jasjit for the explanations. Yeah Anusheh, you understood my question perfectly :)

Hello All,

Anusheh & Jasjit,
Brings out a very clear understanding of the OCD, its manifestations, and how it can be healed.
Can help many in identifying & hence uprooting such thought-patterns from their own lives.

A quick thought though. You are quite right that it is the obsessed self who can best resolve this disorder by looking within to find its root as well as the solution to it.

It seems possible that the obsessed may be so overwhelmed by his 'obsession' or his own pattern-of-thoughts, that he may be unable to see the way out. I wonder how such a soul could free self from this disorder?

And if someone feels like helping/supporting such a soul to get him out of it, isn't he/she is faced with a greater responsibility - of first understanding the victim of the disorder and then also of not accentuating it further even unintentionally?

Looking fwd to more of such stimulating readings.

Hi Anusheh,

there is not a single soul in this world who is not obsessed. even the one claiming that he is not, is obsessed to be 'not obsessed'.:)

just kidding.

obsession though is rampant throughout humanity. Everyone has one form or another. sometimes it is conducive to well being , sometimes it is not.

OCD on the other hand is obsession gone totally crazy. I developed a small OCD a few months back of rechecking the car/ house lock again and again. I knew something was bothering my mind and so it was seeking a solace in this bizarre behaviour that I never had.

It was a host of frustrating emotions. as the root. the moment I understood that, I just told myself to relax and develop a sab chaltha hai attitude and since then I never had the OCD again.
:)

tx for your perspectives, anusheh and jasjit.I do agree that there is nothing subtle about attachment.From where i operate, i do see attachments emerging in mind spaces...and the mind as being intrinsically capable of positionalities.i feel that there are manifests that are more acceptable to some and when they transgress into realms of obsession, they become miserable.It is just a matter of degree.

In one of numerous interpretations, Swwami Chinmayananda has translated a verse from the Gits thus...The Ladder of Fall: "From continuous 'thinking' of objects, attachment to them is formed.From attachment, arises longing; from unfulfilled longing, anger; from anger comes delusion and from delusion, loss of memory and from loss of memory, ruin of discrimination. From ruin of discrimination, man perishes."

To me, it has helped to observe the fixation tendencies of the mind, be it with concepts it values or with events, things or people; and this awareness has helped in releasing it's hold over me.

in terms of arriving at personal resolutions, i feel multiple strategies may exist depending on our dispositions.awareness , however, is a fundamental key with an intrinsic ability of releasing one from the clutches of obsessive positionalities.from platforms of personal experience,i perceive awareness as freedom itself, not as a means to freedom.

Hi Surya Prakash

Thanks for appreciating the article. In response to your first question, interestingly enough even research on OCDs shows that the patient at some stage always becomes aware that they have an obsession which is out of control. So the ability to see the obsession always exists. I dont think that you never realise that you are obsessed but like I said you can be calling it by other names such as love, intensity, passion if you want to remain in denial about it.

If you can see the obsession then that same self within you (which sits as an observer of the disorder) also has the ability to show you the way out - not to mention the endless sources of wisdom that exist in the world to seek help from.

You're absolutely right when you say that the person guiding such a person firstly has to have the ability to guide them to the root of the problem and then to be careful that they dont end up becoming part of the problem themselves.

However having said this I also have to say that no one can help anyone until they are willing to help themselves. Otherwise even seeking help can be just part of living out a larger obsessive desire/need.

Does that make sense?

Surya Prakash

To add to what Anusheh has said I feel once you pathologize something, give it a daunting medical term like OCD, you also marginalize a lot of people from admission that they may be suffering from that condition. For no one wants to admit that they are identifiued with what is especially a 'mental pathology'. For instance depression is the most common emotion, its excess only means it has been unaddressed by the individual concerned and only then does it get termed as a 'medical condition'. Now people only look at those who display the pathological signs of depression (usually extreme) and refuse to look at all the tiny streams within themselves which fall into the same syndrome and if not addressed are heading that very same way.

Its interesting we have a piece on suicide on this blog too which is directly a result of disproportionate emphasis on some aspects of your emotional loss/lack/vacuity. Unaddressed it finally leads to person to taking their own life. Only because in that final last moment the mind is convinced there is really no other way. The vertigo of that thought, which frankly is obsessing about its anguish/rage/pain cannot be stemmed. Unfortunately I hav had to encounter recently many mothers whose daugthers have committed suidice (strangely young girls mostly hanging themselves)have admitted that the signs and 'failed' attempts were there. But the mothers/family took no notice of seeing it as a serious obsessive vertigo. While other mothers known to them also at this time have daughters showing similar signs of resistance/depression but the tragedy of their denial which I can see as such a frightening reality. The final act is then the natural conclusion.

I think as Anusheh plans to write in her second piece, if everyday acts are minutely observed we will see how obsessive everyone is. The fact is that as the post shows clearly the root is emotion. Unaddressed/unresolved/pining emotion which given different conditions fans itself into an out-of-control situation.

What is really common and I guess also dangerous is that when an obsession is dressed up people think they have in fact escaped it. As an example some people will keep on talking about their misfortune, hardluck , past- for instance even on blogs- unstoppable adding to it some language of awareness, healing etc and think they are in fact free of their obsession of being a victim just because they can pepper it with the right language. I often feel it is not just the obsession which is dangerous but the denial and deflection in fact ends up being the real danger.

You are right that awareness is the only key. But there too there is so much 'language' available today that people now 'obsessively' pick up the language and yet every word and act of theirs is clear to a discerning eye that the obsessions have only changed their face.

Awareness in fact requires HARD work on first being able to be truthful to oneself. And I guess that indeed is a rare being who can negotiate the courage to really pick axe at all one's fear/games/manipulations etc. True awareness lies beyond that.

Aachi..hello

No you're absolutely right when you say there is no one who is not obsessed. And its true even those who are fighting obsessions can be obsessed with that aspect. We see it all the time. Like for example monks who want to be detached from sex, develop almost an obsessive reaction to women and so on and so forth. However Jasjit has elucidated this quite well in her above post.

In the next part of this article I intend on talking in more detail about the subtle and not so subtle forms that obsession takes on and what they actually point to in our beings. Perhaps this will help many people realise how common obsessions really are.

hi anusheh, good, flowing article.

we have physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual obsessions - each day, each month, each year, each phase of life but on the whole in our childhood, youth, middle age and old age.

all these obsessions besides providing us with initial relevant supports, in our attempts in fighting them help us strengthen our own physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual 'legs' respectively as we move on our evolutionary journey through these phases.

the less we are yet able to stand on our physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual legs - depending upon how recently we have entered any particular phase and begun doing so - the more violent we will become at the prospect of being forced to lose that obsession.

as a baby, we want to stand on our own, walk, run. but finding yet unable to do so we again and again turn to our mom, it is an example of our purely physical obsession. but since our evolutionary goal is to stand on our own and walk and run, we will also get into other lesser obsessions of such kind which will force us to do these acts of walking, running on our own and thus achieve our evolutionary purpose of strengthening our physical legs. once this is achieved all our physicl obsessions will come to an end, usually by the time we are ready to enter our next phase, the phase of youth, the phase of emotional obsessions.

same goes for our emotional and thence of our intellectual and spiritual obsessions.

usually we talk and think of getting rid of only our emotional and even more so of our mental/intellectual obsessions. but not really knowing their fundamental positive cause/aspect we rather end up making them more dreadful than they really are. while actually if we are really destined to go beyond them in our present life by our scheme of things, like we surely are in the case of our physical obsession, we will go beyond them in our normal course of living. the process is inbuilt in our scheme.

just as i can't cure myself of my physical obsession of holding on to my Mom just by going to its root cause but by being able to stand on my own physical legs firmly now, by being able to remain within the base of my center of gravity now, similarly, i cant cure my emotional/mental obsessions by just going to their root cause but by evolving further in due time and being able to stand on my emotional/intellectual legs firmly now, by being able to remain within the bases of my emotional and intellctual centers.

the very fact that anusheh could write such an articles shows that she has come on the other side of at least her intellectual obsessions. jasjit ji could be in the phase of her spirtual obssesions which is why as of now she cant withhold quoting this spiritual master or that looool.

harb, obsessed with the last of the commulative of the above obsessions, that of finding his Eternal Woman...

Anusheh just can't stop reading the the article over and over again (yes I'm obssessed with it).

As I read the article numerous people- myself, my very near and dear ones, relatives, friends, acquaintences- and their activities keep flashing in front of my eyes. In all of them I see either subtle streaks or more pronounced behaviours of obsession. In an interview Shah Rukh Khan says that 'I wish a day had 80 hours.' I'm sure that even 80 hrs would not be enough if one is obsessed with the thought that they have to finish all their commitments in a single day.

thats a very beautiful observation, anusheh about monks...so much one observes all around...teachers forgetting to be students, counsellors failing to be learners too, parents donning dominant ego positionalities more often than not, doctors, social workers...the list is endless...all of us tend to get obsessed..and sometimes slip into lack of awareness through reactionary moments rather than responsive moments.....learning is eternal as long as one breathes and to me, the ability to experience another beyond our mind filters and realms of conditioning is a very critical aspect of awareness...look forward to your continuations...

harb, the obsessed, interesting perspective in teh analogy of the child...tx..

Anusheh &Jasjit

What a thoughtful piece which shines th light on quite a few dark corners of one's life. Tell me what do you think of superstitions, especially religious myths etc? So many people in my in-laws family are incredibly superstitious and one is obsessively so. I think she needs medical help but others think because she's so 'spiritual' its o.k.
I agree Jasjit, understanding one's self is the only way. I' m afraid all this scheme of things- will happen in some phase is a nice cop out theory. Life is short, precious and meant to be enjoyed . Learning how to free oneself of aberrations is a gift of our times.
Looking out for ur next post Anusheh [really like your name]

Dear Anusheh
Well written!
Only a point, I want to share.
I know a person, who joined a private farm as junior officer. Evertime he entered the board room for meeting, he confessed, he was obsessed to sit on the director's chair.
He filtered all other thoughts and was always thinking about the chair ( obsession?)
Finally after few years he became the dirctor.
We would love to call it determination, but did it not start with obsession?
Probably it is the positive side of obsession, which might take us to a height.

Love
Buas

Dear Buas

Indeed there is a thin line between obsession and determination. And I think it is an interesting difference- determination carries clear goals, discipline, hard work and perseverance. However I think there is possibly no debilitating emotion which consumes alongside. Obsession on the other hand is an emotion fuelled drive and that is where lies its greatest danger. I feel an obsesive person making for that same goal might go to any lengths including, short-changing others, bribing and perhaps even destroying another. I feel you lack the sense of balance in an obsession and hence it can compromise all, since fulfilling the desire is an emotional drive. Determination comes from an aspiration etc and does not necessarily mean at the cost of anyone or anything.
I feel uncontrolled emotions are like loose canons and hence obsessions are viewed as a negative states.

perhaps the journey from obsession to determination marks one's journey from lack of sure-footedness to sure-footedness...

Radhika Hi and thanks. I like my nam too :)

Well religious superstitions can become obsessions and I guess are more likely to do that if the person undergoes a lot of misfortune and the fear of it. I mean look at the healthy buiness that palm readers, atrologers, pundits, tantriks etc do. For instance I find it fascinating how many people from the Eastern part of India (largely Bengali I think) where these hideous rings on all their fingers. I'm told they have been suggested by pundits etc. So what as a race they are obsessing with beter fortune, careers, marriages etc or they obsessed more with superstition? Good question.

I guess it is the obsession which rises out of fear, not to displease Gods, Godesses, karma lords or whoever has the pwoer of their good and bad times. For instance isn't fanaticism an interesting obsession. I mean religious fanatics will become live bombs, die and kill others all in the name of spiritual redemption. How crazy can that get in this modern world? look at what is happening over the cartoon in Denmark. I feel there are far deeper things that need to be understood in the human psyche which lead to such public and political behaviour. And obsessions are a generic name for a host of rather troublesome symptoms which may indeed have their root simply in anger, hurt and lonliness.

Yes I agree with you healing is critical, it needs attention and trying to wave it away will not make the world and its people any more peaceful. We have been given such access to wisdom, only so we can use it and not because we can theorize on how it should happen in some time and space when 'it' chooses to.

Anusheh
That's a great connection between fanaticism & obsession. Look at the havoc it wreaks in the world today. I wonder what kind of personal obsession becomes a religious , political fanaticism. Would love to hear people's thoughts on it. Hope you will touch on it in your piece. For instance do certain religions create more obsessive people or then is it a certain kind of people who are drawn to fanatacism?

I wonder, if fixation for the CD of the little girls preference...is her "way" of showing mom and dad; something is missing OR from a perspective from the opposite spectrum; she may be showing them "this is what I like and why."

Example:

OFten, kids of age: 5 cannot communique their way to get understanding for the rapid and random thoughts; that flitter moment to moment; with them being unable to comprehend them?

IF they resonate with something in a movie/story/book..it is a signal to parents; that she is trying to convey a "message" of her-Self..and it's requirments for nurturing-understanding?

Just as we "train" a child to walk as a toddler; so to, must adults/parents, train a childs thinking patterns..help them cope with tools of self-understanding ability.

I see so many parents; never kiss/hug/embrace their children; let alone use words like "I love you so much!" I saw this lack of love; a lot, living in the projects..non-affection to children from their parents/family...

It was/is heartwrenching..to see little children grow up so ignorant of themSelve's that way..and never have the blessings/benefits of physical affections of a hug, a warm embrace..a tickle-session..

Amazing, how some parents, just "have kids" yet, do nothing "with them" to nurture their minds nor sense's of Self and Beingness?

your friends little girl, is very fortunate, to have parents whom are "keen" with their eyes to watch their little girl grow with the wonderment of innocence and mind of a blank slate...which they "choose" to take part, in forming and molding with self-ability tools; found ONLY through paths of love, affection and "third-eye" vision(parenting must-skill!)

North

Hi Anusheh, Jasjit,

a small thought I had. there is a wonderful meditation technique which can tackle obsession very easily.

It is a buddhist meditattion. in the first place before sleeping you relive your entire day , what you did from starting to finish. as ur concentration deepens you will understand where you are going wrong and what obsessive behaviour u have.

after that we imagine ourselves seperately and follow our actions seprately as a witness is watching us. we scrutinize every move. as concentration develops so too will our refinement in the senses.

just a thought.

:)

interesting , aachi..there is something similar called nijidhyasana in Hindu traditions...i guess, the key is to be in touch in integral spaces and that act simulates other happenings...

possible north...this child is the recepient of a lot of attention, though and enough physical hugs and the like...also, she is not seeing any particular character or the like on cds...when she sees one, she gets fixated for a while...to me, it is like a manifest of thought fixation..which happens to all of us sometimes...a kind of getting stuck syndrome...to me, the process of fixation in thought realms is a more critical focus area than the content itself...

yeah Harb, critical to be in touch with oneself in integrity, in my opinion, for evolutionary processes to take over in conscious learning spaces.

interesting point, venkat..subject of a lot of debate in some blogspaces...i personally perceive the manifests to be similar in pro and contra positionalities in any issue under consideration...acute positionalities, which are ego-centric locations in consciousness for me, give rise to a lack of sensitivity and respect to other's points of view and give rise to situations like the "cartoon controversy" taking centre stage these days.The notion of correctedness or incorrectedness, to me, is as contextual as anything else and involves the perceiver; hence nothing really absolute about it...What is food for one may be poison for another and gregarious existence demands a mature acceptance of it...

Dear Venkat

What a good question you ask. I remember when 9/11 happened for the longest time I kept trying to live in the heads of those four pilots who had possibly spent every hour of every day for some years, planning to do what they did. I wondered what kind of being could plan that kind of death and devastation so single mindedly, over such a long period of time. And how for a moment did they never have any doubt or realisation about what they were doing.

Look at the extreme of what an obsession does. It can disconnect you from all reality. It can give you an absurd illusion, like a moral, spiritual or religious notion and allow you to act in a way which is not only against the accepted norm of that notion, but so grossly against your own well being and in this case, even survival. Obsessions can go to the extent of disconnecting you from reality where you can not only end your life but can become a murderer, justifying the end of other people's lives.

Obviously this power of emotion is well understood by those who fuel and propagate fanaticism. For frankly, the more I think about it the more I realise, that all agressive, intolerant and fanatical religious sentiment capitalises on individual and mob obsessions.

What is really scary, and I think Jasjit has mentioned it on this thread, is the names by which we justify these emotions. 'Jihad', 'faith', 'religious sentiment', 'morality bearers', 'the righteous' - these are some of the caps which eulogise the ugliest obsessions.

The question is what intrinsic emotional vacuum, pain and rage can be garnered to make the mind believe that it can die and kill in the name of a higher ideal? For if one were able to unmask this craziness and actually help individuals see what they are deflecting on to and un-understood how devastating their transference actually becomes, I guess that would instantly reverse such a wave. I'm going to give this more thought and bring it up in my next piece.

Thanks for raising such an important point.

ahh fanaticism and its roots...while not justifying anything, just to add an interesting dimension; i read somewhere that atleast 3 accomplished past-life practitioners see Osama as being a soldier at the receiving end at pearl harbour!!!and wonder where before that...but i guess the buck has to stop someplace in a resolution rather than a management...

Dear Aachi

That is indeed a powerful and fairly simple meditation. But I'd like to share something with you. What you mention is in effect a zen meditation and since using zen practices is an
important part both of my personal journey as well as IFSHA's work, here's what I've found.

Zen indeed is the simplest, goes right to the root and is therefore truly a path for the modern mind. However, strangely Zen is very difficult because it requires a certain level of readiness, an ability to be truthful about what one sees
within and frankly the courage to see and then change. In the absence of that Zen becomes
impotent as a practice because it has no frills under which one can hide and continue to fool oneself.

If one is unable to see ones actions in the right light, how would one initiate change? For most of the time, people are attached to being victims, putting on fronts, manipulating and frankly they refuse to see it. So when for example such people
relive their day you can be sure that they will not cast the right light on it.

Secondly, I find that most people cant concentrate. Their mind functions in willfull
and unruly ways. This further lends to the confusion, chaos and inability to go deep
into anything.

The third thing you talk about is developing the witness within...i think its called sakshi bhav...who watches you the doer without emotional attachment. He is the torch bearer to your being. This is the most difficult to develop/uncover. And requires a high level of practice, stillness and awareness. Many many people (even those who have amazing energy experiences, or have been in practice for decades) are unable to master this one. You can tell that their mind continues to wander, their speech is reflective of unawareness and even when they write something you can see that the witness has obviously not been able to get a word in:-) This is a very tricky one....though of course not impossible, but just requiring a very high level of dedication.

What you suggest as a practice in fact holds within it the entire path of self realisation.

love
anusheh

Good Morning to all :)

This is turning out to be such an interesting thread Anusheh! There is so much to talk about here and I guess thats bcoz this issue touches some nerve or the other in all of us.

Goin back to the point about distinction between determination and obsession - as you say - "determination carries clear goals, discipline, hard work and perseverance. However I think there is possibly no debilitating emotion which consumes alongside" - my question is, determination to achieve something comes from a desire for that goal. And Desire is an emotion too. is it not?

Also, can someone be obsessed about God? say, like, Ramakrishna Paramhansa (kali bhakt) used to speak to Ma Kali and tell her that "if you dont give me 'darshan', i will cut my wrist". Is this obsession? And if yes, is it good?

Thanks to all for the great amount of knowledge being given out here :)

Shubz

Desire is a clear emotion as is anger, love, hate envy etc.You know them and act out knowing what you are feeling. Obsession is a drive which covers some other emotion/s whose roots rise from some complex needs and experiences and it may actually snowball into something else which is unrecognizable. Since it often transfers to behaviour patterns it becomes all the more difficult to trace to its origin. So obsessions do not display the source of the emotion, which is why people find it hard to control or stop.

Of course people can get obsessive about God.But I guess if they are obsessive then it must be because they are turning to 'God' as a transference. As for Ramakrishna, I don't know the background of what you mention but since Ramakrishna was not an ordinary being and his whole life was centred around Kali, the stories depicted a strange and intense (incomprehensible to most) relationship.

Anusheh thank you very much. That was very comprehensive. It would be fascinating to see the kind of transformation that a group of fanatics would go through if they were put through a healing process.

Anusheh - great writing, incisive, sharp, clear. Just what I like in any piece of work. Great reading it. So true...we tire of the same clothes, the same food, the same house, the same lover but never of the same thoughts....
Though to echo what some others like Shubhosree have said...its a fine line indeed... is bhakti not an obsession? (Or are these just mere words for something more un-nameable?)..the desire to reach beyond your small physical self...the desire to find those spaces of excellence, of harmony of body/mind/soul...in the realm of mere mortals (not the Ramakrishna kind) I feel that this is in fact a useful energy to have (at least it works for me?!)...the obsession to strive harder, be greater than what one was born with/conditioned to be...? Or are these just mere words for some other emotional malaise? Is it possible to exist without that obsession for...anything?

Thanks Anusheh.

Hello everyone!

Dear North Good Morning

While it is wonderful to read and hear your realizations, just on a slightly different note.. When we are able to see as clearly as you do, make the same connections as you often do where is the gap in not being able to stop? that my friend is where the obsessive emotion lies , needs to be hounded down and out and the behaviour miraculously stops.
The mind is a beautiful trap (as I have said on this thread earlier) which gives us the language of insight (hoping often that we will get a sense of well-being and stop trying to search deeper) it even allows us to make many resolves to stop but the point is that it somehow always manages to not LET us stop. Welcome to the real abuser-our own mind.

Shubz, radhika and maya

Just to offer a possible insight into the bhakti and obsession debate. While it is true that many turn to the path of God/Bhakti as possibly an obsession to flee the world (and many Masters reiterate this point constantly) the difference lies in what you seek. For instance normal obsessive behaviour functions within and includes the maya of needing/desiring/possessing/harming/controlling/
game-playing. In the end, all transferances of the obsession become self-destructive in some way or the other and that is the measure of their negative trigger.

The spiritual/bhakti path by it nature cannot be walked without addressing all of the above centrally and even though the obsession (to flee painful relationships, failure, loss etc)of turning to the spiritual may come from a negative trigger the path cannot be sustained unless the negativity is reckoned with. In effect the nature of the Path is self-referral, you are forced to return to the Self in myriad ways, hence the cleansing, purging of all destructive/painful selves is inevitable.

However I am going to post an interesting piece on this in the hope that it helps us all perhaps go a little deeper into the coffers of 'the mind.'

Dear Anusheh
Thank you very much. I think you have explained it in a very scientific way !!!
Looking forward to Part II

Cheers
Buas

Dear jasjit,

When I read the first paragraph of your comment, I thought, "oh, so does this mean that the end justifies the means??". But I got my answer in the next paragraph. :)

Thanks and waiting for that piece.

Hi Maya

Thanks. Well personally I think the entire problem lies in the ways in which we define and understand obsession. Words like excellence, passion, etc. confuse us and begin to make obsession sound like a great virtue to have.

I dont think that you need to be obsessive to excel. Like its been said earlier, there is a fine line between being determined and being obsessed. Wanting to raise your own standards is a great thing but you need not be compulsive about it.

Lets see if I manage to address this sufficiently in the next piece:-)

Greetings ALL!!
Loving this place.

Anusheh & Jasjit,
Thankyou ever so for the answers, explanations & above all your time.

And Yes Anusheh, it makes sense.

From your answers I also came to understand that it is important that we try to remain in touch with our feelings / emotions and decide carefully how to respond to or acts on them. And things become difficult only when one doesn't give this process enough time to become a part of your life (or daily routine).

We (as humans) are so blessed with the ability to work both-ways "event-driven" (external events & experiences) and "self-driven" (internal feelings/emotions/thoughts). I wish we could use these more & more.

Best wishes to all.

Dear Surya Prakash

You're most welcome:-)

You've really reached a very crucial understanding. Most people just end up running from themselves and that is indeed the beginning of so many distortions.

Dear Anusheh,

Such an interestin article. I think my best friend's girlfriend is obssessed with him. You see he wants to end the relationship because he feels she always wants him to be with her, she is always phonning him, coming to his office, insisting that he come to her friend's parties everytime.She kept nagging him till he took her to meet his parents even when he had clearly told her at the begining of their relationship that right now he is not intrested in marriage.Made him come and meet her parents.

My friend does not want to hurt her in anyway so he has tried making excuses like he is not financially stable to support the two of them. She waves this aside as not a serious problem and tells him that she can wait, or that since both of them are earning it won't be a problem.

He is really fedup of keeping up with her demands. But everytime he tries to tell her that he wants to end it she gets really emotional. Once when my girl friend and I tried to explain to her that she should move along with her life and forget him, she lashed back at us sayin that its us, his friends who are trying to separate them.

I know this girl too and its not that she is not a nice person. She is quite a modern girl but then why is she not ready to let go of him even when my friend has been telling her that its not working? Is there a solution to this problem without causing her any harm?

Dear Raj

Sure sounds like a good old case of obsession. Modernity I'm afraid has nothing to do with being obsessive or not. Obsessions arise from a state of unmet needs, insecurities and fears. I can understand that your friend wants to be gentle and is probably scared to take any clear cut steps towards seperation as he is not sure how she will react and is probably fearful that her reaction will be self harming in extreme ways.

Unfortunately I really dont see any other option for him than having to tell her clearly that its not working for him.

Hi Anusheh
Saw the title and was attracted to read the article...my wonderings are ...
why do I get the sense that you arent very happy with the "scientific community"?
Why is "OCD" pathologically pathological and obsessions only somewhat pathological in their manifests as per your thoughts?
It seems you have had quite some experience with people who have had this difficulty ...Do you think the answer to it is as reductionist as to have one pathway?
and finally:
Are having answers usually as helpful as we make them out to be?
My point is : I agree a person with OCD knows that the thoughts he gets are inappropriate and intrusive and therefore has "insight" and fights these obsessions ...however, i find that this in itself is the most distressing knowledge and leaves one powerless sometimes. I "ought to" because its "wrong" and i cant because I am unable/overwhelmed and this repeated cycle leads to a host of other "negative" and depressive thoughts....
This is versus someone who is "delusional" or "psychotic" who is unaware how inappropriate they are and therefore sometimes oblivious and less in pain/distress from the "non conflict".

They've lost themselves but a person with OCD knows who he is and that he's losing himself and his mind...which is much more painful!
Just to clarify,not every person who has OCD is "incurable".
Antidepressants are a class of medications that in varying dosages also act as antianxiety or/and anti obsessional treatments.They do not cure "psychological fears or obsessions" but are able to help reduce the occurrence/frequency of these thoughts and the level of anxiety they generate so that the person is better able to live with them and battle with them.
Knowing is not "curing" . Knowing whats wrong is good but not the end of things, if the therapist knows what the problem is , its not a huge use until the client does, and not when he's told but when he arrives at that conclusion by a process of getting to know oneself...and that is just the beginning because then one has to accept oneself and one's thoughts and actions for what they are and be able to live with them and with self or to let go of them.
All this is a long process as all of us know and driven by the "individual" and his pace. I wonder at what point one can be called "cured " in this process.
I work with OCD clients and I find them the most tortured species. ...but there is hope and many of them do really well for themselves!
With Warm regards, no offense and kudos for a thought generating and passionate article.

Hi Kavita

Thank you for your insightful comment. I'm sorry if I came across as being disrespectful towards the scientific community. That was not the intention. I have a lot of regard for what science offers to all of us in terms of wisdom and insight.

I agree with most of what you say. I too feel that obsessions need to be looked at in a holistic way and not only in their extreme manifestation. And no I dont think that there is only one way to address them. I believe that they need to be addressed in a holistic way which includes mind/body and spirit.

I understand what you mean when you say that knowing you have a disorder and being unable to stop it can be extremely distressing. However in my opinion the positive side to having this ability is that that same being within one which has the power to observe the disorder without getting involved in it then also offers such people the chance to heal themselves, as there is clearly a self that functions independant of the disorder.

Whereas anti depressants are great in managing such a state and keep many people from falling off the edge, like you say they are management techniques and do not help the person heal. For healing you have to go deeper and resolve the emotions that have led to the disorder.

As i see it, obsessions are nothing but a mountain of unresolved emotions spinning out of control within our being. In my work with OCD, I have seen that helping people identify and address these emotions has led to seemingly 'miraculous' cures.

I also agree with you when you say that the client has to know what is wrong and want to change it. If there is no awareness and no desire to change then the healer/doctor is entirely impotent.

There is a lot of hope, in this day and age especially, when there are so many alternatives available to people with OCD. With so much information available to people and so many different schools of healing and scientific awareness resolution for us lies just a step away and yes it is entirely dependant on the desire and the pace that the individual sets for him/herself.

warm regards to you and the best of luck with your work. Would love to know more about your interventions.

You guys are the 26782 best, thanks so much for the help.

I am studying my own obsessions especially in the realm of sexually intrusive thoughts and compulsivity. I have also done a recovery program for incest survivors many years ago. I am finding a need for maintenance (and new growth) based on old and new realizations about myself surrounding how and why I formed my own behviorial transferrence that I have since buried. I appreciate the level of clarity and articlation of the important principles (of human nature and our potential for spirituality) in this blog. It is renewing my level of trust and causing me to feel like I can do this again.

Dear Horace

To be able to confront the self with determination and truth is truly valorous and not many are able to do it especially when life experiences have been so intense. So kudos to you for continuing to search for the unbounded self within.

Darkness is the most potent tool for transformation and I hope you see it as the friend which guides and not as a lasso which your being hangs by. For that imo is really what determines whether the journey just seems like one uphill task or an exciting adventure through which we continue to discover our own grand potential.

You can do it!
warm wishes for the journey