hi anusheh, all attraction is finally the attraction to REalize the onenness from which we once began, and which is finally found within.

in between, depending upon on which rung of the evolutionary ladder - or of our dear kundlini - we are, we get attracted to a persons physicality, feelings, intellect and intelligence.

btw, in interesting picture is being shown at star gold just now in which my favourtie hero too is working. so bye for now, more later.

sorry the picture just ended...you would have seen it to believe it..it ended with exactly the picture put up by anusheh on her most celebrated of threads...

anyway, to continue the above message on attraction...

now since the oneness can only be realized by going beyond the senses, feeings, intellect and intelligence to that which in fact houses them, eventually we will have to transcend all these attractions to reach it and by then we will come back to ourselves to find that it in fact is not separate from ourselves... all will become one...

yet, i think reaching back to our parents is also in some way correct. by reaching to our parents we eventually try to reach back to the Parent of Them All - the One or Oneness, the ultimate union of Male Parent and the Female Parent.

Hi Harb

You've put it very well and I do agree that ultimately all relating originates from the soul desiring that experience of oneness with the self.

However trapped as we all are in our illusory (but very real to us) selves, parents have to be returned to because that remains to be the first stage where all our patterns, expectations and desires are born and we are conditioned to the illusion of 'relating' to the other. To return to the 'original' parent then surely you have to move beyond the illusory parents? What do you think?

Harb the pig has begun to haunt you. lol Were you seeing Babes -the pig film. If you haven't seen it you must. It's adorable!

Hi Anusheh and everyone

Have been reading everyday but been too busy to write. This piece caught my attention. If I truthfully look at V I have to admit that what initially attracted me to him was how like my own Daddy, he was so upright and honest. On the flip side he can also be as stubborn as him. A trait which irritated me as a child and now as an adult in marriage. Fascinating article which really got me thinking. Is there nothing that is truely just original about us?

Hi Guys and Gals!

Anusheh I'm not going to comment on the article right now. I've read it in a hurry but got the key points. So let me first try and see if my ex boyfriend had traits that I didn't like in my parents or the other things that you have mentioned. I'll be back then.

So true Anusheh. It is all about feeling 'complete'. And I guess thats where the 'need' for the other crops up. The feeling of being at a loss without the other. Ideally we should all find ourselves first, feel whole within and then what we will feel will truly be LOVE. Am I right? :-)

yes, anusheh, you are right. we have to pass through many illusory parents/parental attractions, and by the time we are ready to reach the original parent people begin saying that we were born to a virgin...that some 'light' pregnated our mothers...this much at least for the fathers.

and as for the mothers...perhaps those are indispensable as long as we have solid bodies with us. though i am of the opinion that at some stage mothers too are done away with in a similar way. it is an other matter that by that time w would be some other species...

as for the picture i dont know the name. in fact my servant was seeing it at my tv just as i was writing and inbetween i will have a look. i will keep this name Babes in mind so as not to miss it when it comes again. though the film was about many many animals and not just our pig.

Shubhz

Ideally, yes. However as reality goes the definition and understanding of loving the self is also very vague and often misunderstood by most people. It is often just the ego misconstrued to be love.

First Anusheh where did you get such an apt image for the post?!

Second the post sent my head scurrying for the traits that I see in my parents and in my partner and in the others who surround me.

It's true the the triats that we like/dislike in our paretns play a role in the attraction game.

For example (I hope my dad does not read this!) my dad was not the kind who enjoyed taking part in assisting in household chores. So I always wanted to have a partner who would not be like my father in such matters. Lol and behold I was attracted to Gaurav who is just the opposite in this matter.

Not to be unfair to my dad here's how my mom's traits come in the role of the subconscious in me- My mom is a very organised person and (I hope even she does not read this :) ) a person who would want to do all the 1000 chores that is their in a span of 24 hours as if tomorrow did not exist (she is a firm believer in kabir's kal kare so aaj kar aaj kare so ab par mein praley ho jaye....). This really irritated me. But yes you have guessed right... my partner though a great great great help to me is also like my dear mum...

Now that I write this I find it all so funny. Thanx Anusheh. Things are so much clear now and that makes all this so much more amusing.

Annexure: Now it's even more clear why my mom and gaurav get along so well ;) and I now sympathize with my dad ;) But I guess both my mom and dad complimented each other in their own opposite ways- with my dad's patience and my mom's organised work they have made a wonderful family for me and my sis.

Dear Anusheh & Jasjit (ji)
We are back after a month's break in Calcutta!!!
Two words 'Chemistry' and 'infatuation', we have heard so many times but never thought could be correlated.
Yes, in the past we were attracted to the wrong people, but we thought the reason could be we used to believe their images ( what they projected).
Anyway lovely piece !!
Love
Buas

Dear Buas

Great to have you back:-) Hope you had a great trip!

lots of love

Hi Buas,

Good to have you back! Two months in Cal wow! When it comes to attraction it's the food and the warm, friendly atmosphere in Cal that attracts me to go to her every year, even if it is for a few days.

C u on the blog!

Good piece of writing Anuseh.

I have a slightly different view.

I believe everything in this world can be learned. We are taught to eat, to bathe, to talk, to walk to swim to behave, to read write and understand. We are even taught skills to live int he world. Courtesy many philosophers we are taught to live our lives in several realms, that ensures good health, in terms psychological, pysical, emotional health. Through, either, various healing practices or pratical excercises, we are taught since childhood to live.

But essentially we are nevr really given the guidelines to whom to seek for love. That is totally left to our instincts. I guess that is why when we are so close to our parents we start picking up the tips from them and whatever or whoever is a closest reminder of safety and security. Since there is no set formulae of love behaviour, speculation is rife, all the time.

What works for one doesn't work for another, and the stakes are too high so mentally we condition to believe anything close to the liking of our most favourite people is the safest bet. Cause that is our home ground. We have grown to learn how to tackle it.

For eg. If a father is domineering or a mother is a nag and if you find striking similarity in the spouses, I could see a reason. He/she has grown up to work his life around that situation so it deosn't seem weird. In fact it reminds him of home. Of safety. Cause by the time they grow up they have seen all the facets of such a character and are prepared to handle such a situation.

If I take my eg. --- typically my conversations with dad have been with his turn head (towards the TV or the book or some other work he is busy in, or simply his dinne plate). So when I talk to a man who is intently listening to me and all the while lookin at me, I feel unnerved, i turn my head away or look past his ears somewhere in the bank. It's difficult for me to talk passionately about something to the men, while directly looking into their eyes.

hee hee I guess I need to study this a bit.

Hi Sangeeta

Thanks. I'm not sure where the disagreement lies because I think Hendrix is pretty much in agreement with you. Like you say somewhere our father and mother continue to set the patterns of our attraction to the opposite (or same) sex.

I think you raise an interesting point when you say that the law of attraction as explained by Hendrix happens primarily because we are used to negotiating that particular pattern of relationship and so we find a certain comfort and security in it. I think you're probably right and you've given me something to think about.

:-)