That is so interesting. I guess that first spark of romance is part and parcel of making sure the species survives....laws of attraction/procreation. Or is it the other way around i.e we get bored and zap, the hormone's gone?

How interesting indeed! and thats such an important aspect you have pointed out Anusheh - is it the other way around??

would love to know the answer to that one! may be that can help many couples save the romance from going out the window.

shubz, here is an explanation of this romance thing from my book. to understand this first know that like all particles of matter we too are both particles as well as waves, or bodies as well as emotions. and that, we can collapse others' particle or wave functions, and in collapsing the former we will feel oneness, love, romance with an other while by collpasing the latter we will feel separatnes, hate etc. we do so subconsciously all the time, only accomplished men/women can do so consciously at their sweet will, more so because they themselves are mostly on the wave plain while their bodies are only mostly for others.

now here is a paragraph from my book, a bit revised.

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No doubt I would be having the opposite sex as my wife, but in branding her my wife I would be immediately collapsing her wave function to say it in scientific jargon, which previously gave me the flash of basic oneness or love or romance. In fact, all ownerships/brandings/namings do the same thing for us. No sooner we own/name/brand a thing than we lose its charm because we or our consciousness collapses its wave function and that means separates it from us. the same thing happens even when we bring any new thing in our house. we name it, we own it, we brand it as mine and lo, its wave function stands collpased and what is left is a mere body....being looked at by an other mere body. make an experiment: bring something from bazar but with the promise that you will return it. you will find that you will not lose its charm. why, because you do not own it, name it as mine, and hence it is in part fuzzy...which means is being seen as a wave...

hope it will help a bit...

and how to keep the romance thing in tact. the only answer is dont marry lol...at least officially...

and moreover, always keep an element of uncertainty/stealth/secret in your love/sex/romance...it prevents one from collapsing the wave function totally.

Ok, this is a little freaky and hugely entertaining (my wife and I just had a discussion). So is this why people start having affairs? I mean is boredom biologically fated or what?

thats an intesrting take, harb....tx...

venkat, my opinion is that boredom is fated in conditioned spaces...hormones are the product of our emotional states, which in turn are the product of strong mental formations and conditionings...i am sure tomorrow someone would come with a medicure on this chemical aspect but i wonder whether that can be a real solution.when we encounter boredom, we look outwards to escape it....but boredom, if countered squarely and addressed from its roots is a great spiritual door for the tre-entry of spontaineiety and exubearnce and awe in our lives...and then the hormones would behave differently...

* re-entry; spontaineity; exuberance...sorry for those typos.

Hey Harb,

Thanks for that elaborate explanation. I do understand what you are trying to say. And I guess thats true most of the times. But I would just like to add this that, romance can take a different shape and form after marriage. it doesnt have to be (and cannot be for reasons you rightly pointed out) as 'exciting' as it was before marriage, but it can still be there. may be in more subtle ways. as far as the charm is concerned, yes, i agree, it does fade out and thats natural. but is romance only about charm? I dont think so. romance is about love. And as long as there is love in the relationship, I think two people can always enjoy romance (in different ways as I already mentioned).

Am I right Venkat and Radhika? :)