Great post Sundar!

-- "the fear of loneliness manifests a desire to relate" --

I have a cousin sister who visited me a few months back and we bonded very well on various things and one evening, over a cup of coffee, we got talking about relationships. She was telling me how she was going through a rough patch with her boyfriend. She felt stagnated in the relationship but was unable to break away from it for the simple reason that she was scared to be alone again!

And I am sure this is the case with many of us today. Why the fear? Why the insecurity? Well the reasons could be many. The key is to address them and not go hopping from one relationship to another mindlessly, like an escapist.

By the way, my cousin did finally break away and the last time I spoke to her and asked her how she was doing, she said, "I'm bored!" ....

So wasn't the relationship just a sham, to fill an empty space? A space stemming from the fear of being alone?

Sundar, great piece. I guess it is truly fear, that primal emotion, that keeps us from expressing our individuality and traps us in all kinds of emotional dances. I agree that fear is also necessary for that other primal instinct of survival but unfortunately more often than not it just subsumes our personalities.

Indeed Sundar you hit the nail on the head. It truly is all about fear. The mind which we have been adressing in your threads actually roots, nurtures and sustains intensely through a fear psychosis. Will I be liked/loved/eulogised/safe/affluent/sexy and finally immortal? Some very commonplace, basic fears form a ring of all we like/dislike/aspire to/covert/desire and finally become. And of course the Masters root it all down to that one fear of death-I will be snuffed out, all I am will be no more! So in that lifelong race to beat death, the mind assumes many codes and benchmarks on how it will 'hang-on' inspite of it all. I guess that is how power/money/family/posessions/legacies and fame have all ridden up the human merit list. All simple attempts to coerce immortality in whichever shape or form it can be managed.

I however do disgaree with "Fear need not always be bad, it is protective". Fear by its nature causes one to shrink away from exploring life or maximizing one's potential. It is only in risk-taking that one can access the power and force of inner courage which is an abudant and untapped inner force. In protecting us, somewhere fear also leaves us in the cold shadows of its refuge.

Good topic Sundar as always.

Sorry the word after 'aspire to' should read covet

tx shubhoshree, anusheh and jasjit for your feedbacks...
jasjit,maybe i am wrong, but i was referring to fear being a protective emotion when we encounter physically life-threatening situations...like heights,the deep sea, encounter a tiger!!!!.....there is a physical response which can be protective in functional spaces..

Abolutely Sundar
in life threatening situations the biochemic seretions(such as adrenalin) facilitate certain fight/flight responses to 'protect' us. However I would call that pure awareness and not want to use the word fear since fear by itself also stimulates equally debilitating responses such as immobility/shock/and can in the extreme lead to heart seizure.

Interesting piece. I think your comment is very valid Jasjit. And I think Sundar has done this piece quite well. Though perhaps if your language Sundar were a little simpler many more people would understand it. Nevertheless a very interesting article and I have enjoyed visiting the site.

tx jasjit for that info...you have put it into clearer perspective...

Sundar,

I agree absolutley with you that fear is the main motivator for all our actions.

Our ancient books second this fact "Out of fear of God, fire burns, the sun shines, and Indra, Vayu and Death hurriedly do their duties" ( Katha Upanishad 2.3 )

but what is the reason for this fear?

the reason i think is Time. We are not afraid of the present. We always are afraid of the past and of the future.

if we feel that even in the present we are fearful then insight will show us that fear has arisen because of associating something of the present with the past or the future.

about fear being a protective response, again i agree with you cent per cent.

i would also like to add another protective sign that we despise a lot and think very little about is Pain.

Pain too like fear is a protective response and tells us that something is wrong when we are not aware of it.

already too long.:)

great post sundar, you've really brought out the nature of fear and the mind so well. thanks

tx aachi, maya and whitehorse for your shares...