Finally Indians are realizing that platforms and spaces need to be created where young people can make their voices, concerns and experiences heard and where their problems, anxieties and traumas can be resolved without any value laden judgements. With this intention in mind IFSHA created this blog space where not only young people but also adults can come on and participate, question, enquire and answer to the myriad of issues that come up when talking about that which is most intrinsic to our lives- sex.

A few days back I attended a forum where teachers and professionals working on youth and sexuality came together to brainstorm on how they can help young people deal with their curiosities, confusions and fears and how they can develop in young people the ability to prevent and heal themselves from the violence, abuse and health risks that they are facing in their everyday lives.

The seminar was held by the Department of Psychology of the Jamia Millia Islamia University. The focus of the seminar was to help and educate the teachers and counselors in handling sexual problems of adolescents and the youth.

Experts from different fields were there to share their experiences and discuss practices that need to be taken up by counselors, teachers, doctors and parents in their interaction with young people.

While holding such a platform was no doubt aimed towards meeting the needs of the larger society what triggered it was the incidents of eve teasing that the university has been facing for a long time. Professors and teachers were anxious over such incidents and the impact it was having on their students, especially the female students. In the absence of proper counseling centers and counselors teachers have been finding it difficult to deal with the trauma of their students.

As stated by the head of the Psychology Department, a majority of their students come from the less affluent and conservative middle-class, whose social and family backgrounds do not ‘ready’ them to interact with the opposite sex. This raises the need for information and counseling on issues regarding intimacy, love, sex, sexuality and health.

Interestingly everyone was unanimous on sex education as the most critical need of the day. But sex education that goes beyond understanding just the reproductive process and identifying body parts. It involves social, ethical, psychological, emotional and spiritual dimensions. All these need to be addressed if we are seeking for the youth to imbibe healthy and balanced sexual selves.

Sexuality is the way one feels and one thinks about oneself. It determines relationships, how we behave, what choices we make and above all it constructs our self-esteem. Sexuality is an ongoing process and cannot be settled at one go. As Dr. Saroj Gomaste, Director of Zaffery Medical Service India stated, in her presentation on the importance of sex education, that we need to readjust our sexuality as we grow since our social surrounding also changes and along with it our requirements. At every stage of our life we need sex education whether we are young, middle-aged or old.

The majority at the seminar was of the opinion that sex education begins from home, especially from the parents. Getting panicky when young people walk up to their parents and talk about love and sexual anxieties is not going to help in anyway. Ignoring or leaving these matters unresolved will only create more discomfort, anger and frustration.

Parents should use opportunities such as when the child starts enquiring about subjects related to sex like curiosity over body parts, pregnancy or while watching a movie, reading an article etc. to make them comfortable with the sexual aspect of their lives. The atmosphere at home ought to be such that children and young people are able to have an open dialogue with their parents. This will not only prevent children from getting the wrong information from dubious sources but it will also help them communicate to their parents if they have been subjected to any abuse.

Ashima Puri, a lecturer in Jamia, pointed out that young people should be made to view themselves as unique and worthwhile individuals. Children and adolescents need to be told that their sexual feelings are normal and that sexuality is a natural and healthy part of living. This can rid them off the fear, guilt and shame that are often associated with the sexual.

The seminar also looked into the health risks that adolescents and young people¸ especially girls often have to face due to uniformed knowledge about sex such as unwanted pregnancy and HIV AIDS due to unprotected sex. Adequate awareness and timely knowledge can make young people more responsible in their sexual explorations. Information on condom/contraceptive use, menstruation, pregnancy, modes of HIV transmission and it’s prevention, emotional problems faced by young girls during abortion/termination of unwanted pregnancy was discussed by Dr. Bansal, gynaecologist at the Naraina Medical Centre, for the benefit of not only the counselors and teachers but also for the young students of the university who were also present at the seminar.

Though the seminar was a tad cliché in it’s attempt at dealing with the sexuality issue such as deconstructing myths, stereotypes and taboos, it managed to raise certain significant points that need to be initiated for building a wholesome self.

Acharya S. Goswami, of the Radha-Raman Mandir, Vrindavan spoke of the need to become aware that the sensual does not belong to the body alone. Sex does not merely lie in the body and in it’s physiological functions and that growing into sexuality involves more than just sex. Citing the example of parenting he suggested how the relationship between the opposite sexes in a family that is between the father-daughter and the mother-son is as important as that between the father-son and the mother-daughter in developing a holistic sense of the self.

A holistic sense of the self ought to involve the consciousness about the male and the female within the person. Instead of distinguishing, separating, stereotyping the masculine and the feminine it is the spiritual co-existence of the two within that needs to be emphasized. And only a fulfilled self, a fulfilled individual, can attain self-esteem, which is a significant component of our sexuality.

Overall it was one of the more ‘expansive’ seminars, emphasizing that, harassment, abuse and violence should not be ignored and that on their part teachers need to intervene in such matters and help the students overcome anxieties. Whether it is counselors, parents or other professionals, sexual problems, traumas and issues related to young people must be dealt with in an appropriate manner that is non-judgmental and most importantly non-victimizing.