Jasjit,

Thank you for a very powerful piece and the equally powerful pointers. The picture and the post will be etched in my thoughts and heart..
infinite thanks

Hi Jasjit,

just thought I would share this bit of info ...

I just read it in the paper today that a film is being made on Gudiya's life and Divya Dutta is portraying her life on screen. She said she was overwhelmed with emotions when she heard the news and said that the Director will have to alter the ending now.

It felt good to know that they will not take cinematic liberties with it and turn her life into some masala movie (not that her life lacked any of it) by giving it a 'cooked-up' ending, that is a HIT with the general masses.

May Truth be told as it is!

When I saw the news on tv about gudiya and the channels recollection of the entire episode, one thing kept coming into my mind- we break down when it comes to taking simple decisions in our lives, we rant, scream, cry, shout and what not but look at this young girl... what a tough decision she has had to make...leaving the man she loved and had been living with for the past 4 years and agreeing (or rather I should say pressuirized to agree) to go with the man who was a 'stranger'.

Jasjit well said. Something about this picture is really haunting. Then again maybe its so because of the horrific story that it reflects.

what value you ahve added to that news item, jasjit..priceless...i remember i was visiting ur shahar few years back when somebody asked me a q in malaviya nagar...it was about lady diana spencer..she was as yet alive...in the casual discussions, i mentioned that when one is unable to resolve fundamental conflicts within,the conflict has no choice but to manifest elsewhere, either as sickness or death by unnatural causes such as accidents...one can imagine the conflicts gudiya went through and the helplessness she felt, much like a twig floating in the vast ocean...thrown from here to there...by seemingly uncontrollable forces...

Jasjit,

this is a brilliant piece. you have potrayed the helplessness of Gudiya and raised very important questions. I felt very sad about gudiya's death and felt more angry when I read in your post that a TV channel actually made her sit through an ordeal. How insensitive.

I dont know what would have been the ideal ending for this story...I wish it would have been something acceptable to Gudiya...for it was her life.

But sadly something tragic happened leaving us with a very important message to introspect and change.

Dear Jasjit, this story is so unusual, so tragic!

How tragic, that the lovely young lady; had NO self-empowerment! How tragic, she found love, was pregnant; and that happens.

I can see more now; how connected we are to illness. Now, I can see it more clearly as how it is manifested from becoming de-powered.

May her soul transcend to a beautiful Heaven; where she might meet her still-born child.

North

Thank You all

Sukanya I don't know how many such stories shaped my understanding of the intensity of pain and the strength of survival. Gudiya's ending has made her silence so much more ominous.

Shubz
I'm glad they will make a film and we can only hope they will focus on the real questions and not just romanticize the tragedy.

North
Even as we see pain as the most rampant, universal experience I have to say that many such stories have left me in awe of how deep suffering can be and how people find the courage to survive in such situations. Perhaps they were the inspiration that helped me rise above my struggles and attempt to be there for whoever I could.

Sundar

True if only people would really make the connection between the dis(ease) and the message of the heart/soul so much suffering could be averted.

Aachi

I think the T.V show was the most frightening experience she went through and somehow that just broke her irrevocably. I saw the entire show and horror was the only word which can explain what happened. Welcome to media savvy India!

Dear Jasjit, When I read stories like this; and many other such tragedies around the globe; I feel my pain is so minute in comparison.

This story has profoundly awakened within me, the ability to see the pain I am enduring comes from within me, and the feelings of loss of self-empowerment and control.

It is terribly difficult to envision freedom; when held captive by pain. I resonate deeply with her feelings of being socially and politically dissected.

Needless to add, being in her delicate condition, the shock of a returned husband, presumed dead, must have literally cast her over the edge hopelessness.

I cannot fathome such depths of despair, but I have tasted it's rolling shores, and it is bitter indeed.

North

Political and religious wars waged over a woman's body - when will it end? Will it ever end? It is lives like Gudiya's that remind us how far we have to go and how difficult the road ahead will be. And yet, the same story strengthens my resolve and propels me forward...pushing through the dark smog of patriarchal oppression and control.

A.C & North

While the numerous Gudiyas I met during my arduous work life sometimes just paralysed me with a broken heart I have to add that they were the reason I turned my corner into going deeper into the question of what was the key to human suffering.
You see A.C blaming it on anything outside like patriarchy, suppression and usurping women's bodies/choices ceased to work as arguments since they were not relieving the 'pain' I so wanted to heal. Anger was the only path to this ideology and after a while the anger was self-serving.

I instinctively felt that there had to be a deeper source within each being that would be the key to true-empowerment. Of course that search yeilded an awesome truth which answered every question I possibly had and also showed me that there was a path called true healing. So for me I have always said that the door to my office is the first place I bow my head in reverance ( which of course in essence means the lives and truths of all the Gudiyas I encountered in my work) for without them the search for the source of suffering would have never even begun.

And now as there is understanding within there is ability to act without with a deeper insight to connect, offer hope and truly stand by with strength and clarity.

Just some thoughts

what a powerful piece jasjit. the story, the media circus, all very numbing at some level. an important point you made about the privilege to make choices, to heal...what about people who are swept away by disasters of various kinds? reminds me of the feeling you get when you hear about all sorts of terrible natural disaster across the globe.. people who didnt think they were making a life or death choice by living on the coast of sri lanka or banda aceh or new orleans...

There is that sense of the fragility of life in this realm...and that there is some other connection beyond that sustains us all...

MG

The point I guess for us all in 'privilege' is to realize that human life is a gift and within it certain destinies make it even a greater gift. Optimizing the opportunities to live it at the heighest level possible and to gift and share with others the abundance of that privilege. That is the only intent that makes any sense in the face of a life like Gudiya's

Hi jasjit,

just saw the news...Taufiq has been given the custody of the baby...gudiya's soul will hopefully rest in peace now.

Aachi

At least some sense has prevailed in the aftermath. This was her little boy who was taken to Arif's house and Taufiq had been asking for him back. I wonder what that little being must be going through with all this commotion, being dragged around and now losing his mom.

Another update....taufeeqs fiance has refused to marry him because he's insisting on taking the child. Interestingly he and his father are sticking to their guns.

Way to go Taufiq!

I just hope all this is not again a clash of egos. Gudiya lost her life to this.