Dear Chaitali,

Homosexuality is labelled as sexual perversion in the forensic texts. It shows how poor we are in understanding human emotions.

If love is sexless then Homosexuality should also be acceptable. I have never met a gay couple in my life but I guess they also do the same things like any other human. What if they have a different sexual preference?

i loved your post and also the reference to Ayyappa.

Spiritually, the legend of the Lord was born to unify two warring major clans of Hinduism,the worshippers of Shiva and the worshippers of Vishnu.

also after so much of hype I would love to see brokeback mountain.

:)

Hi Chaitali and Aachi

Fascinating information on Ayappa Chaitali. Really informative. That was interesting information Aachi added to it as well.

Aachi personally I was really dissapointed when I saw Brokeback Mountain. Ok I can understand that the hype exists because the film is trying to go into some depth over gay relationships but really beyond a point it makes you wonder what the particular relationship is about. There seem to be no emotionally endearing moments between the men. On the other hand one also asks the question that is it just that men relate to each other so diferently and that appears (to women)as lack of emotional depth and tenderness? Or maybe their expressions are just so different that it comes across as that? Would love you hear your opinion once you've seen the film because it really confused me at one level.
lots of love

Dear Chaitali,

Great piece! The Ayappa story was specially enthralling. But if we have such myths coming down from ages, in our history, in our spiritual texts, then where did it all go wrong? When and how did this whole notion of 'Gay' equivalent to 'sick' or 'profane' come about?

Aachi, I also read that the worship of Ayyappa along with his disciple Vavar also signifies the unity between religions.

That's how myths work. They allow people to use it in the way that they want to. When I was reading about the female form of Mohini that Vishnu often took, I found that it has been used in discourses on cross-dressing, transvestise etc.

Good read Chaitali

I guess since love and intimacy are the most complex spaces to negotiate in life, its easiest to project one's fear and angst onto others who we feel are 'different', wish to experience 'intimacy' differently and find love where others fear to 'tread'. It's been an on going experience that men are generally more homophobic than women. The point is that obviously the 'fear' within men must be greater. I wonder why?

I have also found in my long years of working on sexuality (with both straight and gay men/women) that in fact everyone is a naturally bisexual. It also makes sense metaphysically since we all have both the Yin/Yang sides which seek completion through love and intimacy. The question is of course that anything outside the 'norm' throws us. But I have always asked the question what is the norm? Violent heterosexual pornography, child sexual abuse, aggressive heterosexual behaviour-aren't they all a large part of our real world? Does child pornography, violent fantasies thriving within the hetrosexual ambit make us feel that all is well because heterosexuality is the 'healthy' way?
Somewhere if we began to ask these questions and look deeply at what we call sexuality (especially our own sexuality) we will clearly see the despair/anguish/distortions we all carry and in seeking their root perhaps we will understand more. It is only then that we can turn a more understanding eye towards others and become more accepting.

Prasun and Surya Hello...where are you guys?

Beautifully written Chaitali

I have loads to say on this subject, i shall be back:))

Dear Madhavi,

Looking forward to reading from you on this subject.

Hi Chaitali,

this is quite an eye-opener for me. the whole ayappa story! i mean this is so contradictory to the attitude we indians have towards the whole thing! i have a cousin who is gay. he lives abroad. his father has almost abandoned him because he refuses to get married and his they just cant accept it. what do you think he should do? he is financially independent now. do you think moving out of the house might help him?

Hi Guys!! :-)

So Sorry dear Anusheh :-(.

Am Here. Reading all the comments. Just couldn't catch up. (Have already told my boss to give me a half hour break every 3 hrs for isitaboutsexblog.com - ;-) ... Kidding).

Barely manage to be with my Lovable Family, a Satisfying job, and My new Lovable Clan - ALL OF YOU. I'm sure I'll get back into the routine though :-)

Chaitali,

I think that emotions of love and intimacy go much beyond just gender. Gender means to be a man or a woman as per certain set rules. And as per these rules only a 'man' and a 'woman' can be intimate and fall in love and that also the man has to be older than the woman. But that isn't the case always.

I've read about homosexual relations in Greek myths too.If these myths are telling us that same sex love did exist then there must me something to it.

Shalini it's sad that your cousins father is not ready to accept his son. Personally I feel that if possible your cousin try to make his father understand about his feelings. If it still doesn't work then he should move along with his life. And this is not just because he is a gay. There are cases where parents don't even agree to heterosexual relations and if confident enough then their adult children often leave the house to build their own life. Whether you are gay or staright it's no point staying in an atmosphere which can only bring one misery.

Dear Chaitali,

As always - everything well put Chaitali :) - full of information, provoking your readers to look for some alienated corners of humanity & sexuality.
Furthered by the questions from the ever-sharp - Shobhosree & Anusheh – still stuck in my head.

Your Question(s) - "a) do emotions of love and intimacy depend on gender; or, b) is it something that goes much beyond these?"

I feel love and intimacy need not be associated to gender. Love is un-biased. As I see it, it transcends any genre, species, civilizations, gender, age, and everything.
And intimacy is only the next obvious step as love between and 2 things grow.

Combined with Jasjit & Aachi’s perception and other comments, I felt like tracing back the roots but failed. Because one becomes naturally bounded by the society, the family, peers – those one has lived with – GROWN with. One unintentionally absorbs many virtues / thoughts as one grows. I guess that’s how one’s own identity, sexuality, behaviour, attitude, and everything else builds up. I think it is also this time when some one you know, like and/or are influenced by tells you that kissing/hugging the same sex is forbidden/bad or something like that. And to support that I’ve seen so many examples of kids below their teenage (that’s when most of the growth begins/has begun) kissing/hugging each other at school/play. They do it until spotted by an elder, and told it is wrong to do it with the same-sex.

I believe that’s where it all settles in. Perhaps from there we begin to fall into 2 major sections of our society: Those who just accept those words, grow up and transfer it to their young ones – the Majority in society somehow; Those who try to break free from the ‘norm’ and find solace in ‘being different’ – This section is growing with population and hence more visible with time;

But then, I also see many from the 2 different sections above – converging together to form a better tomorrow. A section, in harmony with their feelings and others’. Accepting everyone as is, with the same love as they feel for their own self and their own people. A section that helps heal us of our past myths, shatters the rules / ‘norms’ to give birth to a new prosperous-for-all tomorrow.

Hoping to see this section flourish.
And see IFSHA continue to ‘be’ :-)

Love Surya.

Jasjit, you have made some valid points. I have often wondered why love and intimacy can be so complex spaces to negotiate. Is it because they are so personal? And why the fear is much greater in men? Is it because men have more to lose in comparison with women and children?

Homosexuality was an accepted form of sexual behavior in most ancient cultures and indian mythology is no exception. We have several stories where gods have taken the form of their opposite sex. We have those magnificent carvings on the walls of many temples that depicts various sexual behaviors ( the most talked about being the Khajuraho temple). The tradition of eunuchs in India dates back to more than a few thousand years and anyone who didn’t behave like a ‘real man’ was called a eunuch. Perhaps they were demeaned but weren’t considered unnatural.

Ayyappa stories have some flip-flops as well. Traditionally, only those women who have reached menopause and girls who have not attained puberty are allowed to visit Ayyappa temple. The reasons given by elders are many. Ayyappa is a brahamchari and therefore cannot be disturbed by women. The devotees are supposed to keep 41 days penance before undertaking the pilgrimage. Women cannot keep the penance as they menstruate, the 6 to 8 kms trek through dense forest (from Pamba to the temple) is hazardous etc, etc. Couple of years ago the main priest of Shabarimala, Kerala (where Ayyappa resides) said, having women in the temple premise would create a law and order problem as some of the male devotees could turn indecent. I remember in my grandmother’s village in Kerala, the devotees were supposed to drink cow dung juice if they had any physical contact with menstruating women during their 41 days long penance.

Anusheh, of movies I have seen on same sex love; I liked If These Walls Could Talk and Happy Together, the most. If These Walls Could Talk for its simplicity and Happy Together for its intensity.... :) Last night I watched a Chinese American movie named Saving Face about two women. It was released in Bombay last week. I thought it was mediocre when it comes love and emotions and all, still worth watching because the story has an very interesting twist.

"do emotions of love and intimacy depend on gender or is it something that goes much beyond these?"

Well, if we talk about love in the platonic sense, then no, it is not gender specific. one can feel love for anyone (second Surya on that).However, when we talk about intimacy and sexual attraction, then yes, sexual preferences do come into play. These 'feelings' then bcome gender dependent. A heterosexual male will not feel love in 'that' way for another male and the same goes for a heterosexual female.

Hope that made sense...

Thanks for providing the film list Ramlath. I've heard of If These Walls Could Talk, but had forgotten about it:)

Dear Chaitali

Marvellous piece !! The amount of research that has gone into the article was simply outstanding. Very informative.

Till some time back my first reaction on hearing about Homosexuality-AIDS etc etc..was "What do i have to do with it". And to a large extent that was the reason for my ignorance about the issues.

Gradually when i thought more about it,i used to wonder "whats the fuss all about" I mean its just a matter of a person's sexual orientation and preference, and he/she has the sole prerogative to decide how he/she wants to lead his/her OWN LIFE.It was really naive on my part to interpret the issue so simplistically.And frankly i am still hanging on to those perceptions.
Along came movies like Philadelphia and also My Brother Nikhil which explored the trauma & the fight of a man for DIGNITY.It was a breath of fresh air amidst all the negativities associated with this so called "not-so-natural" phenomenon.

Natural is defined as "of or relating to nature";Every person is bound to have his own nature & that will determine what's natural for him and rightly so..who are we to question that ??

Good Morning!

Dear Surya, Aachi, Anusheh, Jasjit, Shubhosree,Shalini, Ramlath and Annie keep all your thoughts and questions pouring in.

Indeed Surya love is more than just gender but somehow it gets bounded within that which is 'expected' from us. There are sayings like 'Love comes naturally' ,'Love knows no boundaries' and yet we set rules and regulations on it.

Dear Prasun,

The fight against AIDS is not just about fighting the HIV virus. It's also about dealing with the whole issue of sexuality. Prevention programmes on AIDS also look into issues of discrimination and inequality of gender related to sexaul behaviour, education, marriage, health, nutrition, domestic violence, child abuse, sexaul abuse, poverty, human rights etc.

I am totally with you on all those Chaitali.

Just as u said "homosexuality is very much part of our world today when we speak of ‘love is in the air’" all i am saying is that "if there's a way called gay"..then let it be.

Hey everyone!

Annie, thanks for your response. I guess you are right. Wether it is a case of homosexual or heterosexual, it is best to leave if the environment isnt condusive for you. but its just that much more tough when the person is gay. there is this extra burden, a whole other battle to fight.

anyways, i will talk to him about this. he shares these things with me sometimes, apart from his friends of course. may be i will ask him to check out the blog too.

by the way, there was another thought that came in to my mind as i was reading this piece again. why is it that one finds most gay men in the fashion industry? do gay men generally have the aptitude for something like that? is there a link somewhere?

just wondering .... anyone?

Hello All

I guess why we all need to look deeper is when someone we love declares they are gay. My son/daughter/brother/sister/mum or even Dad. That it ceases to be an issue about being 'tolerant or politically correct'. I have seen the angst of mothers who have asked me 'is it something I did?'.

Since fo me the question was coming always from looking at all sexual 'aberrations'/angst/fear/despair, I would often wonder why is it easier to find out that your son is a pedophile, or your daughter has rape fantasies or your child was sexually abused by your brother/husband/friend? No! I could not make the distinction in what people termed 'aberrant' behaviour. And yet my work taught me that all other sexual 'truths' were somehow easier to bear and gay was in a league of its own.

That is why I personally feel sexuality as known/understood/practiced by us as a world, is deeply aberrant. Its roots are seeded in fear/shame/guilt/anger/violence/power. That is where the aberration truly lies! Unless it is understood and traced for its roots in history, morality, marriage, society and power there can never be an honest and compassionate view. And since we all fear sexuality (our own as well as another's) the sexual will continues to sink into a morass of darkness. Whether heterosexual/homosexual/celibate/transexual -all identities practices will violate/abuse both the self and others.

Somewhere we must all work on the cobwebs in our mind's eye and start from the beginning of the beginning. Only then can we reclaim sexuality as spontaneous and healthy. I suppose that has been the moving force to create this blog!

Ramlath

As far as myths are concerned I think their power lies truly in the individual insight you can draw from them. What priests and pundits do, really has to be ignored, since the wonder of Hindusim continues to be that as a philosophy it can really never be 'usurped' by anyone else's interpretation.

I have found the Ayyappa myth fascinating and frankly this is what it reverberates for me. Vishnu the scripting genius of Leela takes the female form since Leela carries that flexibility within it. Copluates with the eternal masculine (Shiva) and creates Ayyappa. Sandhi or the conjoining principle is a deep underlying principle within hinduism for it is where Leela takes root. The myriad forms emerge from different conjunctions and all is possible. He is created to destroy the demon Mahishi, which can be read as the 'evil' feminine since Mahishi in the legend carries the soul of Leela but is reborn as a demon possibly as the 'corrupt feminine' incarcerates the divine Leela. When Ayyappa slays her, Leela is freed and offers her love to Ayyappa who then says that only when men stop worshipping him will he be free to accept her.

To look deeper within this myth Ramlath, one needs to be able to see how the distorted/evil feminine does indeed exist and operate in all of us. It has deep roots in motherhood, wives, lovers and female bossess too. In a pantheon/philosophy where the feminine is usually Goddess form, Ayyappa is a fascinating alternative and oracle to the times when the 'corrupt' feminine (Mahishi with the soul of Leela)will push men to seek a God who is in a sense 'all male'.

Ayyappa is then known either as a celibate or as a close 'consort' of another male Vavar. Largely because he is not seeking a female 'half'.

The worship by men, pre-pubescent and menopausal women then underlines the masculine principle which invokes Ayyappa as the 'pure' masculine principle. Sexually active women here would read as the 'active feminine' and hence barred from the all male enclave.

I'm not sure what/why gay men invoke Ayyappa or whether they are conscious that karmically in seeking the love of men they have 'rejected' the feminine. There is a karmic reason for them to be doing so and Ayyappa in a sense allows them that 'male' invocation.

Personally its a fascinating option with very real and scientific karmic roots. Just one more example of how powerfully ubiquitous is the body of philosophy called Hindu wisdom

great post Chatali,

i used to always wonder whether gay/lesbian relationships are something which started only in the 21 century or it was prevailing from time immemorial.
even though we have evidence that these relationships exist from the dawn of civilisation ..
why these relationships dont get the respect they truly deserve????
the book cuckold was mostly about the 15-16 century rajputs and it decribed how the prince himself would have gay relationships and hide it in public because he was ashamed of it....

Hi Preethi

I guess the relationships exist since time immemorial because they are about nature and nurture and that is the timeless truth of man's life. I guess the real difference is today that society has evolved to a maturity where giving 'space' to self-expression is becoming more of the norm. Naturally everyone who cannot deal with the 'truth' will attack 'truth' by calling it a modern day aberration.

In our work with child sexual abuse , for the first few years we faced such hostility from every quarter including the lawyers, police, judiciary and school authorities not to mention parents. They all accused us of bringing 'western ideas' to India and threatening the social/family fabric. For many years we had to systematically collate data, feed it to the media to 'prove' that child sexual abuse was rampant in India irrespective of class, and gender.

The silence of history is used by many to say homosexuality never exsited and is therefore not normal and some 'disease' of sexual promsicuity of our times.

Good morning Preethi,

I think even this whole notion of equating anything to do with the sexual to procreation rather than love and intimacy has tagged homosexuality as 'abnormal', 'sick' etc.

A common belief among the most conservative faction is, above all, that homosexuality is a behaviour -- something that one does. It is a chosen lifestyle which is abnormal, unnatural, changeable, hated by God. It is caused by a post-pubertal youth deciding to become gay or lesbian, because of varying unhealthy experiences in childhood. Eg. Abuse, torture etc.

A common belief among the most liberal faction is, that it is a sexual orientation -- something that one IS. It is an unchosen orientation which is normal and natural for a minority of adults, fixed, and accepted by God, It is not a mental disorder nor is it an addiction. It is caused by a genetic predisposition towards homosexuality which is triggered in young children by some unknown element in the environment.

Well whatever the conservatives may have to say, Anti gay/lesbian hate is devastating to individuals, families and communities. The liberals say we must tolerate them, this is their preference. I ask why, I say I hate the word tolerance, preference.

Why should people have to be tolerated? Tolerance should apply to annoying habits, like hearing the tapping of a pencil or cracking knuckles. People shouldn't have to be tolerated because of who they are. People shouldn't have to be put up with because of whom they wish to spend their time with or because they have a sexual affinity towards the same sex person. Utter rubbish.

Did gays and lesbians not have parents just like all of us? Did they not go to school like you and me? Did they not resent their moms for the same reasons that you resented yours —for making rules and curfews; for not accepting report-card B’s; for grumping about the music you listened to, your reluctance to help in the house and how much time was spent on the phone. They love her for the same reasons you loved your moms— for laughing with, teaching things, taking care of when you were sick, understanding the various disappointments and frustrations etc.

Then my question to all who still ponder about this and to all who feel antagonised or hatred towards them is, Why do you perceive them as different?

All because they choose to go to bed and have sex with the same gender.

My next question: How does it affect you who they sleep with? Have you opened your doors to the public when engaging in sex? So that everyone knows who and how, you are having sex, with? So why is it that gays and lesbians become the community’s concern when they shut their doors and have sex.

I do believe that what is private is private. We are all individuals, who have been given a name as our identity to the world. Our names in no way tell of our sexual orientation so why is the society concerned. How we tackle ourselves with our chosen mate is our own choice.

Another argument is that gays spread aids, which sooner or later causes death. It's not just homosexuals that carry aids. Aids can be carried by any man, woman, or child, no matter race or sexual preference. It could happen to anyone. Yes! Due to the nature of sex that gay men engage in, they are a higher risk group-but that is it, they are not exclusive carriers of aids.

Oh well I could carry on and on and then this will read more like a Post than a comment.

But I shall say one last thing. I have many, many gay and lesbian friends, a lesbian couple are the other half of us (my husband and me).

Both my children have been left in their care while husband and self went for a vacation or a movie or other such times when the babies needed to be babysat. My son was born in the US and since my husband could only join me towards the end (we were living in London, then) they were the ones taking me for weekly doc visits, surprise babyshower , et al.

What can I say, I love them dearly and they are very very special for all 4 of us 

Hello Madhavi,

Your opinions & approach tell a lot. Good to know people like you :-) who are open and clear about themselves.
I feel "Live & Let live" is the way to be.

And of course I agree with Jasjit saying above "Somewhere we must all work on the cobwebs in our mind's eye".

Shubhosree & Chaitali & Everyone,

"when we talk about intimacy and sexual attraction .... A heterosexual male will not feel love in 'that' way for another male and the same goes for a heterosexual female."
Makes sense Shubhosree :-)

If/when I express my love for a girl, that only tells about MY preference. Similarly, if 2 same-sex people are comfortable together, then its THEIR preference / choice.

(In other words may I say ... )
"Call it as you may,
its one's own choice, one's own say,
Free as we are - we Live our OWN WAY,
Be it Hetro, be it Homo, or be it Gay !"

Chaitali, your post has helped us see so many more things about them. Good to be here. :-)

Hey Shalini,

"by the way, there was another thought that came in to my mind as i was reading this piece again. why is it that one finds most gay men in the fashion industry? do gay men generally have the aptitude for something like that? is there a link somewhere?"
Interesting observation. Well beats me. But thinking aloud, it seems that since Gay men seem to have a more prominent feminine and hence more creative side too, they seem to find Fashion industry as an easier work option (& may be more lucrative) than others. Just a thought.

I found the following discussion elsewhere in the same regard:
"Gay men stick together like a band of brothers. It's more common for a man to bring up a younger assistant who is male and be proud of that. Whereas a woman would be threatened to promote another woman." ...
"The large number of gay men in fashion, say many in the industry, traces to the fact that this field has seemed a less homophobic career choice than, say, law enforcement or Wall Street. And the prominence of gay men enjoying fame and prosperity draws others into the field."

Missing all the smiles Clan :-).

Good and thought provoking piece Chaitali. But like Jasjit says the issue really comes home when someone you love says they're gay. I know I want to be a totally accepting mother but I don't know, like Jasjit said, if my kid came home and announced he/she were gay, will I be able to stop myself from thinking did I do something wrong?

I have to admit that even though as Madhavi says, its a private thing, somehow its far more in your face as something you have not come to terms with.

Thanks Chaitali, Madhavi and Jasjit for making us all sit up and think on this one.

Dear Madhavi,

No one I think is disputing that being gay does not mean that you are not sensitive or caring as your lesbian friends are. But as an onlooker I have two observations which I'd like to share.

1) Women tend to find partnerships in gay spaces more easily it seems and co-exist with relative ease. Men on the other hand are rarely in partnerships. I wonder why that is?

2) And this I draw from a gay colleague who is a really nice, sensitive guy in his mid 30's with a visible sense of loneliness about him. He says he prefers to live alone, but the gossip is that he often visits a cruising spot and picks up young boys for the weekend. I'm told this is more the norm with gay men than the exception. I can't say that the thought doesn't trouble me and make me wonder about male homosexuality. Is it really about love then or just sex?

I hope all of you will share your thoughts with me.

Jasjit, you said everyone is bisexual. What does that mean?

Here i shall dispute what you have to say Radhika.

Gay men are equally into relationships as anybody else and not just for sex (there are equal number of hetero males/females into casual sex thus i am sorry, but that is a non claimer)

My gay male friend has been in a relationship with his boyfriend cum lover for the last 6 years and he is not the only one i know.

Hi Madhavi

Well I have to say as an organization my experience has been similar to Radhika's. We have done fairly extensive work with gay men from different classes and regions in India. the reality is far more distressing than a few friends would prove. Cruising is not only the norm, going out for 'hard sex' is fairly routine especially with a certain age group. Passive gay men (many end up functioning as sex workers to make som extra cash) haunt these places and their testimonies are extensive. So no, it's not quite like the casual heterosexual sex you talk about. BTW there's western reserach which squarely backs the claim that gay men tend to focus less on long-standing relationships and more on one night stands.

Having said that, I have also seen the angst and lonliness of gay colleagues who did not want that kind of 'life' but finding a live-in long term relationship was hard. Some older gay men I know quite well are largely 'alone' and one recently admitted that he even thought of placing himself on net-sites to find some 'companionship'.

I feel in our eagerness to be 'accepting' we cannot turn a blind eye to truth for it really does not help anyone. Neither us in our understanding of reality, nor those whose reality we are trying to understand. I guess as a healing centre we never really had the option of 'championing' anything. Since we try to help people identify the source of their pain/angst/trauma the truth must be seen, understood and examined. Only that can help someone free him/her self.

Hey Surya,

hmmm..... possible that it is the prominent feminine side that creates their interest in fashion and stuff. but is being creative a reason for a guy to be a homosexual? dont think so. i have male friends who are creative and also very much into the 'manly' activities like sports, technology etc. thats why i have a feeling its something much more than just that. or may be simply a coincidence :-)

Hey Radhika,

interesting questions. i wonder are there lesbians who pick up young girls as well? or is it just the gay men? if yes, then why is it only the men? i too wonder, is it only about sex?? dont men look for love in their relationships?

pretty complicated subject!!

HI everyone! hey btw, where is Aachi?

Hi Shalini

Interesting point. I don't think women as a rule 'pick up' other women. You see what is fascinating is that even in so-called different 'identities' we are adhering to gender conditioning. Sex is far more out there, often violent, and definitly into 'variety' amongst gay men. Lesbians on the other hand look for deeper, more nurturing spaces. This is why I guess a sexual 'identity' needs deeper contemplation for more ofetn than not similar patterns (of heterosexuality) are being played out in different themes. Women couples often have a visible butch and feminine role and gay men have a very stereotypical passive/active partner persona.

Radhika

This is a good place to answer your question about bi sexuality. It's actually about sexual intimacy acting as a trigger to complete whichever half within us 'feels' incomplete. Much as people would like to disagree and make out that a homosexual identity is somehow really 'different' in fact it again seeks out masculine/feminine role plays within the arrangement. For frankly our bipolarity is far more deep-rooted and acts as the critical groove for our persona and 'our' world than we have been 'aware' of. Growing into relationships simply means gravitating to that which 'completes' us.

Factually that alone is the deciding factor and hence ther is nothing 'normal/abnormal' beyond that. For that to be true, then we have to be bisexual by definition, shape shifting our prefernces according to our inner need/desire.

Hope that helps. :-)

Hey Shalini,

I guess you have a point that its not just Gay Men who have a more creative/feminine side. Their Hetrosexual counterparts can have it too.

But maybe when you point out Fashion industry it is because this is only one of the very few industries that Gay Men are visibly into - with more Glamour added to this industry by sorts like Fashion TV & Fashion week, etc. becoming common now.

Maybe their are other Streams that Gay men are good too but we don't quite know about them simply because those streams are not that popular/known enough by the larger section of masses.

And I'm also beginning to feel the Complications (or rather the intricacies) of this subject.

Hi Jasjit, Chaitali,

Having read all the comments & so much about Gay/Lesbian people and the balances/imbalances of their other feminine/masculine side within, I do not see a mention of Eunuchs here - considering that even they fall in the Homosexual section & also that their numbers have also increased visibly in our society. I've seen a lot of hatred/difference in people's attitudes towards them too. But I've also seen some people are comfortable talking to them, etc.
So have they been assumed as part of the Homosexuals in this piece?

Thanks, Surya :)

Good Morning Bloggers!

Shalini, Surya,

I think the fashion industry is a 'world' which allows one the maximum space for freedom of expression without being judgemental. And that is why one finds gay men openly expressing their sexuality here. It's not that gay men are not their in other professions, as Shalini has pointed out, it's just that these spaces are more constricted in terms of expressing 'other' sexualities.

Surya, no I have not included the sexuality of eunuchs in this piece. I think that will involve a separate piece altogether. In India, eunuchs or Hijras have a separate sexual and social identity all together.

Madhavi, Radhika, Jasjit this whole thing about the difference in women and men's partnership in gay spaces is quite fascinating. There probably is some element of fear that keeps men away from forming long term partnership in gay spaces. what is this fear, if there is one, I wonder?

Hey Chaitali - How've you been?

Thanks for the response.

Hi every one !! :-)
Have a great day.

Jasjit

Loneliness can be, but obviously when you are alone/single or loneliness can be when you are with somebody too. This is a totally separate topic so I shall wait for one of you to do a post on this topic.

Yes! I am aware that men in general are more promiscuous than women, nature of the beast I am told. The difference as I see it, is, that since homosexual marriages are not truly legal yet, gay men just up and leave and move on. Where as the heterosexual man, may stay in the marriage and be promiscuous or he moves from one marriage to the next or just moves on, maybe it really is, only, “THE NATURE OF THE BEAST” (no offence all men bloggers, just a comment :)

im a devotee of sabarimala and ibelongs to the same place pandalam.my few words to chaithali... do you know true history of ayyappa?/ he was the army chief of pandalaraja ind lived 900yrs back.he was apowerful warrior and even now his belongings are there icluding sword.after his death people believed he was avthar of dharmasastha in hindu mythology hariharaputhra..there was forest temple even before ayyappa created by parasurama and belie is that ayyappas soul is in the temple.....there is no issue of sexuality but its even difficlt for men to reach temple and in the thick forest beautiful women is a problem for and others... and there shoud be stressed this unique temple have high idiology of geevathma paramatma unity and all other ayyapatemples are allowed women to worship..homosexuality is now considered normal by medicalfraternity...but mythology is only mythology and dont analyse..it

Dear Dr, Prasanth,

Thank you for the information on Ayyappa. There is no doubt that Lord Ayyappa was a very powerful Being and it is but natural for the soul of such a powerful Being to be still present in the place of his abode.

I am in no way trying to analyse mythology but trying to read into how they have been interpreted by people over the years to suit their needs.

I would have to disagree with you that sexuality has got nothing to do with the worship. This I think was quite evident with the controversy that took place with a South Indian actress claiming that she had touched the Lord's feet at the Sabrimala temple. Also women who have attained puberty aren't allowed into the temple premises. What do you think is the reason for it? You might say that when women have their menstruation their bodies can't take the pressure of the walk to the temple. But it's not that pubertal women are always menstruating or that all women menstruate together during the Ayyappa puja.

Let's face it. Fact is fact. There is a lot of discrimination against women when it comes to rituals/worships because they menstruate. Menstruation or periods is considered to be defiling and therefore women too are considered to be defiling and impure and therefore not allowed into the temple premises. As sexual beings women have come to be termed as impure. So then how does the issue of sexuality not come about?!

Dear friends,
I am new to blog and when i was reading about Ayyappa i stumbled on this site.Can i say one thing friends,hope you dont take it to prsonal,"Ignorence is Bliss".We have read so much and moved so much in Life,but the concept of faith and religion,i think is once view,wheather it is Gay or Lesbianism,they are only genere.End of the day what is ur relationship with God,that is if u belive him ,is important.It is a intresting site.Sorry friends did not mean to hurt any ones view.

Dear Rajendra

Couldnt agree with you more. Of course it is our relationship with the divine which is of ultimate importance. But man does continue to divide himself in many ways, identity being a major one. And until this divide exists man will also continue to divide his GODS. Ultimately all is one and should be perceived as such.

Warm regards

Dear readers,
As rajendra rightly said that being a lesbian or a gay is more of a passing fad than any thing else.From the recurrence of aids to sexual perversions,everywhere gays and lesbians rule the roost.Thata why all the great religiou sects like christian catholicism openly despises this type of queer ness.Somewhre in the blog somene commented that everyone has bisexual leanings,nothing can be farther from the truth.This ar all gimmicks developed to promote diofferent lifestyles.

Sayan do check statistics first. Heterosexual transmission is still the highest mode of HIV Transmission. In India too.

Dear Readers.
If a person considers the percentage of gay men amomg the total populacethay have a unbelievably high percentage of hiv incidence.