It was a scene where Bhuvan Pandey, the villain was forcing himself on Sushmita, the heroine. Clearly Shruti was upset to see Ms. Universe so helpless. I simply told her- if she is disturbed, she could switch it off. She admitted that it was disturbing her but at the same time she was curious to know what will happen next and clearly that meant… till the film ends.

I didn’t switch off the TV though my instant reaction was to do so. Switching it off would have generated hundred unanswered questions struggling in her young mind the whole night. I never wanted her to go through that space of confusions. I simply left the room in order to arrive at how to handle the expected complex questions in offing. I too hadn’t seen the movie. So I decided to watch it with her. I prepared tea for myself and sat beside her.

We both were watching. She was watching “Chingari”. I was watching her watching the film. Her expressions varied from anxiety to discomfort to uneasiness to anger to disturbance.

Sushmita was playing prostitute in the film and had loud suggestions of accepting money and delivering what she was paid for. There were many scenes where her blouse was taken off from her shoulders and suggestions that villain’s head went deep into her breasts. All this was making me uncomfortable. I was at a loss. What if she asks…. Is that men do to women and why? Her voice brought me back to the room. She said, “She is so much in pain. Why this guy (the villain) can’t make out that she is not enjoying it?”

I explained to her that this film is about a story set in a village and in remote rural corners women don’t have much say and are unable to express their voice and concerns openly. Then I questioned myself does it really happen in villages only and a thing of past? I wanted to convey that this should not at all be acceptable to women and one should raise a voice. I foolishly was trying to warn the future woman in her not to succumb to such violence. I was yet to recover and she fired another one. “Mom, I didn’t understand one thing. So many men are coming to her. She goes into the room with them one by one. Then they close the door. Then they do something in the room. When she comes out, he gives her money. What they do in the room and why does she get the money?”

I needed to explain prostitution and I had no grounds ready in my earlier conversations with her about hardcore physical intimacy.

First time I valued commercial breaks. I went into the kitchen still searching for right words. I tried to explain her.
“ Are you aware that your mom is your dad’s wife too”- I asked her.
“This is no question. Of course I know”- she proudly announced.
“That means you do know that we share a definite amount of physical intimacy with each other”- I added. “What is physical intimacy?”- She promptly asked.
“As husband and wife we do kiss each other, hug each other, sleep with each other and this is what we call physical intimacy”, I tried to define.
“But that way you and dad are physically intimate with me and Raghu too”, she toppled my answer.
“Yes that is also physical intimacy, but since mom and dad are grown up they can even create babies with the physical intimacy” I looked for a reaction.
“You are right, we are too young to do that”, I felt the generation gap here.

There is no doubt that this generation will be sexually active at a young age but the careful “me” was fast in interpreting it like “they’ll will start making babies as soon as they are capable of doing that”. However I was moving closer to answering her initial question.

“So you are aware that that your mom and dad are physically intimate?” “Yes” she said.
“That means we can be intimate whenever we feel like.”
“Yeah I know…that’s why you work together”, she made an innocent connection that made me smile.
I continued. “ So if one is husband and wife, they can be physically intimate and nobody questions it. Not children even. But when one feels the need to be physically intimate and does not have a wife then some people offer to pay certain women for behaving like their wives for sometime. That means they can kiss her, hug her or be close to her and sleep with her for that time. These women get paid for that time. This profession is called prostitution and the women are called prostitutes.
“So, Sushmita is playing the role of a prostitute” she finally concluded.
“But she did not like it. She was feeling so much pain”, she still could not get to terms seeing her role model so vulnerable.
“It is definitely painful when strangers force them on you to kiss you or come close to you against your wish.” I tried to wrap it up.
“Then why do they do it?” was her next one.

I had to explain her about poverty and how sometimes women don’t get work and have to resort to this pain. Then there are men also who are into prostitution. “That means they behave like husbands and get money”- she clarified. I smiled at her newly acquired information and immediate conclusions. I knew recent rut on male prostitution would reach her sooner or later. I did explain that some women and men might find it an easy way to earn money too. Reports about new brand conscious generation and flashy lifestyle addicts generation needed to be shared.

Since she visits nomadic communities of Rajasthan with us… she kept asking about rural life and vulnerability of nomadic girls. I could clearly see perspectives emerging in her tiny little mind about ‘not so sweet truths’ of life.

When Vinay and Raghu came up, I realised we had a good length discussion. I asked her to join Vinay and went down to get milk for Raghu, my three years old son. When I came back, Shruti was tutoring Vinay about prostitutes and discussing the story of the film. Raghu was fast asleep. I switched off the light yet felt enlightened. I understood Pluto’s perspective that day. Understanding complex things is easy when minds are not opinionated. Am I right ?

Do send in your own joys...sorrows...on attempt of discussing sex and sexuality with your children.