Hello Meenakshi and Vinay, welcome to the blog.
That was a really important experience to share and I hope more parents write in similar stories, doutbs, and questions. Its so important for parents to take risks and trust their children (and themselves) rather than shy away from talking about the body. I think what you really did in that encounter was to address the reality, natural-ness of the body in a really nonchalant way. You gave a straight answer rather than evade the issue. And I think parents can build on the communucation and emotional languauge they share with their kids to find spaces to talk about sex and the body. Thanks again

Welcome indeed Meenakshi & Vinay

What a wonderful and critical approach to one of the most nagging rough-spots of puberty. And I know for a fact that parents even today struggle with how to ready their daughters for the 'big one'. Obviously making more out of it than nature intended and hence scores of young women in India carry the tale of how menstruation was such a traumatic event in their lives. I could safely say for that more than 85 per cent young women (rural and urban) in South Asia the first period becomes the source of deep and permanent scars on body/mind/emotions/sexuality. And the root is just awkward/judgemental/suppressed parenting.
Kudos to you Meenkashi for paving the road of you daughter's flowering with such love and naturalness.

love

Dear Meenakshi and Vinay

Welcome to the Blog. What a wonderful interaction with your child. I grew up in a house where my mother was very open about menstruation. Resultantly when I began to hear stories about how much girls suffer due to not having prior information on menstruation, I was shocked. Over my years of work with children and women, the stories only got more horrific. A little information can go a long way in making a child's journey to adulthood safe and free of trauma. You just took the first steps towards that.
love
Anusheh

beautiful..naturalness is the key in relating...embarassment is more a grown-up syndrome...

Meenaksi

Your story make me cry today. I wish my mother had said like that, but she never evn told me and I remember how much I cried and got scared. And then my friedn told me and I was angry with my mom and she still did not sit with me or hug me but said rudely, you are big girl now, your school should teach you these things. When i read your story I feel I am still angry with mom for being so cold. Your daughter so lucky. I hope and pray many moms listen to you.
Thankx for this story. I really like this blog

Dear menakshi and Vinay,

I have a cousin who didn't know why girls had periods even when she was 18. I had to tell her about the whole menstrual cycle.

Another thing when it comes to the sexual body, that parents often try to either ignore or give really strange answers is when a kid asks how to differentiate between a baby girl and a baby boy.

I've heard parents or other adults come up with answers like the baby boy cries in a deep voice while the baby girl has a shrill cry; baby boys are larger in size than baby girls or that baby boys are naughty whereas baby girls are quite.

These differentiation only leads to further discrimination and children begin to associate these qualities with the different sexes. So a quite and docile boy will be often bullied by his friends and taunted for being 'girl like'.

You're right when you say that a simple and truthful answer is the best way to deal with our childrens' curiosities.

What a kid is looking for is a simple answer to his/her question. As adults we have a tendency to complicate matter. With children it is best to keep things as simple and concrete as possible.

Meenakshi

Thanks for this great tip. We have a little baby girl and my wife and I really love the way you bond with yours. Thanks again for some great pointers

cheers

Congrats. Great attempt. Pl give more tips to mothers to handle growing kids which will be very useful to them. Shyama

Wonderful. That goes to show that there is a natural teacher in all of us as there is a parent. Knowledge should not be offered as a challenge or annoyance but as kindness, care and concern. Letting children understand thier sexuality in this natural manner shall turn them into well-adjusted adults. My parents answered my curiosity with the same ease and I am grateful to them.

Dear Meenakshi,

Since you asked...what you did was absolutely right and really wonderful. You allowed your young daughter the space to ask a "sticky" question...something many of us were never given an opportunity to do. Moreover, I agree wholeheartedly when you say that simple, everyday, mundane experiences can be used to provide information in a joyful and loving manner. And I believe it takes courage for many fathers and mothers to do so. Kudos.

And yet, I feel some concern when I continue to hear words like "waste" and "bad" attached to menstrual blood. By doing so, are we inadvertantly reinforcing a small portion of the negative messeges that we grew up with...negativity that we are working hard to squash today so we can reclaim our bodies and all the processes that come with it?

AC,

Welcome to the Blog.

Perhaps when we have given a child the ability to accept its body functions and be natural then we have at least led it to a more wholesome attitude towards understanding and dealing with the body. I'm sure it'll be that much easier for her to drop any connotations that 'waste' and 'bad' may carry. After all even people from our generation despite all the bad messaging have managed to reclaim so much.

Thanx!
Its excellant!

Hi

This is a gud way to tell a child.

Thanks

Hi Meenakshi.

i m not a mother yet but i have been planning for 'the moment' with MY daughter ever since i started having periods. i was not given any reason or explanation for it ever and somewhere i hold a grudge against my parents for it. but the moment i understood what it was...sometime in my teens..i promised myself i will tell my daughter or son (for that matter!)everything whenever they ask me. infact i have the whole explanation ready in words. sometimes i laugh about it..but mostly i feel very sad that i went thru hell the first time i had my periods and so did all (yes all) my friends. it wasnt untill we were given the bio assignment of doing the chapter on our own that we realised juts what it was.
and i feel very proud that so many of us now can talk about periods and other 'woman things' openely.
Neera