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A Bird’s Eye View of a Moral Ragbag

By Jasjit Purewal - 2:36 PM Wednesday 21 December 2005

Who is Kamna Chaudhary? News stories call her the ‘Princess of Agra’ though her claim to fame falls far short of any signs of royalty. In a town of salwar kameezes, Kamna’s dubious distinction started with arriving at college in jeans and continuing to do so despite the scowling faculty and the whispering crowds. Attractive and clear that she wanted a piece of the glamour pie, she set her heart on being a model and at nineteen entered beauty pageants. She not only made it as Miss Agra but also managed to walk the ramp. In a little, lookey-loo town that was enough to get noticed, spat upon and branded ‘wanton’.

The story after this gets obscure and nightmarish in turn. Hemant Kumar, an innocuous photographer suddenly surfaced as Kamna’s husband claiming that they had married in a small temple, fielding some sleazy friends as witnesses. Kamna’s story however is where the eye of the storm really lies. Her father has been filing FIR’s against Hemant Kumar since 2004, claiming that his daughter has been abducted and wrongly confined. He also alleges that Hemant Kumar and his friends gang raped her, charging the police with complicity. However on two occasions Kamna tells the court she is living happily with her husband and it is her parents who are harassing her. Finally in December 2005, Kamna’s father moves the Supreme Court claiming that his daughter is being confined with the connivance of the U.P police. In a recent interview to a prominent daily, Kamna corroborates the gang rape by Hemant and his friends and the sham marriage through which she is being held captive, tortured and threatened.

Kamna is not a unique story. The convolutions to her tale have a déjà vu about them. The court and police will venture into the contradictions and whatever the outcome the matrix woven by a young woman called Kamna will never clearly reveal what really happened. For every such story is a signpost of the chaos of our times and hence will carry huge irreconcilable extremes. Irreconcilable, because Kamna had aspirations as an Indian woman which her small town was not quite ready for. While her T.V set whizzes her instantly to the dreamy glitter of the Sushmita Sens and Aishwarya Rais of India, her physical world still breathes and fisticuffs within the confines of a stone faced morality. Her college immortalized her ‘brazen’ identity by banning jeans in memory of her. Her parents (strangely dogged and supportive in the face of the odds) have played their own role in arresting and facilitating the confusions in her reactions. And Hemant is possibly the posturing (messianic) photographer who was once a conduit to the bright lights. Naiveté, celluloid dreams, spunk and some bristling sense of identity was Kamna’s very personal and somewhat fragile backpack. Just like a million other young women in India today. But in her suffocating hometown, she has unwittingly become a totem to dissuade every other Kamna in the making. The potpourri of judgmental gossip, emotional, physical and sexual trauma, the sudden blind alley of life-options etc. have all turned Kamna from a bright-eyed youngster to a tragic tale.

The only question worth quizzing over is whose fault is this really? Where is the safety net for all the young women who tune into the ‘Baby-Doll’ syndrome and choose her as a role model? Are they ready for the moral diatribe and the witch-hunt that all such failed starlets will invariably face? Or should they just wait for another 50 years, hoping that their tiny world will finally transcend the ragbag levels at which India is living its moral reality?

Posted By Jasjit Purewal - 2:36 PM Wednesday 21 December 2005

Comments

Jasjitji

Thank you so much.
I think we can see the door now !!

Buas

Posted by

Buas

on December 22, 2005 09:47 AM

Hi Jasjit,

there was a movie that was made about such in Hollywood. It is called 8mm.

it starred Nicolas Cage and showed how frustrated stardom dreams lead young innocent gilrs into trades which are a blatant abuse of human dignity.

the plight is sad, even in a country like USA.

the difference in plight of girls in India and the USA is mainly that witch hunting is rampant moreso in India and the desire to get noticed by the girls in question moreso in the USA.

Posted by

Aachi

on December 22, 2005 03:04 PM

Hi all! I am feeling very angry after reading this article. Something similar happened to someone very close to me and today she is just a broken, depressed woman because EVERYONE (except me) has blamed her for her life choices. She had married a loser(her parent's choice) who treats her really badly and she has lost all her spirit. I mean she takes evrything this creep dishes out to her because she now believes she ruined her own life and is 'grateful' that he married her anyways. It make me so mad and I don't know what to do. Can you help in some way?
Thanks

Oh and like your site. Nice stories.

Posted by

Melodymoon

on December 23, 2005 11:45 AM

50 years! no way I think we'll have to wait another 100 years.

With all this moral policing going on I think we are going back by another 50 years. Look at the nonsense that just happened in Meerut. Its like the woman's body is a public property and any stranger or anyone can come and just violate it.
What gives them the right to?

As a young woman, stories like Kamana's and the moral policing that is going about really scares me at times. Even if my parents and close ones support me, where is the law and order to back me and them? Everybody seems to be involved in the conspiracy.

Posted by

Sohini

on December 23, 2005 12:17 PM

Dear MelodyMoon

The vice of moral judgement is the worst assault on our psyche because before we know it we have internalized that self and begin to function as others percieve us. This is no small war and one which your friend will have to battle with clarity, courage and strength. You can only push her to reclaim that space for it is hers. Choosing to do so will have to be a critical choice she must make. And if she does the liberation from the darkness of guilt/anger/self-hate will be powerful enough for her to walk out of all spaces which demean her. Perhaps you should get her to start reading this blog and posting her questions.
Hope this helps!

Posted by

Jasjit

on December 24, 2005 11:14 AM

Dear Jasjit,

I work in a call centre in Gurgaon and live with my parents in Gurgaon. I used to not wear jeans earlier because in my school and college nobody used to wear. But now in Gurgaon in my office many girls wear jeans, skirts. After seeing them even I have started wearing jeans. But my parents are very angry with me. They tell me that if I wear jeans I will not get married to a nice guy. They keep giving me examples of girls in our community who have had a bad marriage because they used to wear western clothes. I don't know what to do.

Posted by

Pooja

on December 26, 2005 02:56 PM

hey pooja,
clothes are worn for your personal comfort..also helps to ask yourself, what kinda guy you would like to move around with, someone who values you for the clothes you wear or someone who relates to you for the person you are...no offence meant to your parents..but they may just not be able to see this...

Posted by

sundar

on December 26, 2005 03:24 PM

A Bird’s Eye View of a Moral Ragbag

By Jasjit Purewal - 2:36 PM Wednesday 21 December 2005

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